Randomness….
Random phrases over the past few months…
“I got this”
“2″
“over there”
“hugs please”
“Look“
“hurry”
“turn HERE”
“do you know where you are going?”
“I love this”
“2″
“ON YOUR BUTT”
“burp”
“cuse me pwease”
“Thank you”
“I love that too”
“so happy to see you”
“How have you been?”
“2″
“Oh my gosh”
“really?”
“seriously?”
“not there”
“I can’t believe it”
‘I so, love this”
“are you kidding me?”
“2″
“this is my favorite”
“of all time”
“2″
“thank you”
‘your welcome”
“pwease?”
“yummm”
“I Love you”
“2″
“what are you doing?”
“where are the batteries?”
“ruh roh, that’s gonna leave a mark”
“I wanted to root for your team but well…”
“Best movie EVER…”
“psst.. they are sleeping..”
“ice tube pwease”
“I love you Papa..”
“2″
“I love you Grandma”
“2″
“High 5 dude you went poo in the potty”
‘No, diapers, I a big boy, want pwull uwps”
“Look COWS”
“raining AGAIN”
“Where’s my B?”
“Bweakfast, oatmeal pwease”
“Look at the rainbow”
“Are you kidding me?”
“Oh My Goodness, you didn’t, did you?”
“ruh roh”
“Pirates, sharks and let’s have a picicanic”
“Did you see those wild turkeys?”
“WOW, really?”
“WOW, I can’t believe you did it”
“Really, you want me to what?”
“I wove Papa Dan”
“Jo? I Love you 2″
“Wanna play in the water, pwease?”
“DID you see THAT”
“Where the heck did all this water come from?”
“Happy Birfday to YOUUUUUU”
“Did you see that?”
“Thank you for my neck rub”
‘Thank you for everything you do”.
“Are you fricking kiddin me?”
“You want what?”
“That was fantastic”
“Thank you for everything that you do for me and all of us”.
I’ve been writing these down on scraps of paper, and have added them all into this post. The Electrician is happy to get rid of all those scraps of paper, he hates, clutter. Some of these came from the Grandbabies, and the “2″ is from Cam, he used to respond whenever you told him you loved him by replying “2″. He has now graduated to actually saying “I wuv you 2″.
These are some of the things I have listened to and contributed with. Looking back, it brings a smile to my face.
Didja ever – Part 2….
Didja ever just wish your bones did not creak as much as they do?
Didja ever wonder how, when you were a kid, time took so long to go through, and then when you got older, wonder, where did the time go?
Didja ever wonder why a wild turkey makes the sound it makes?
Didja ever wonder where that last roll of toilet paper went, that you thought you had?
Didja ever wonder what a cat really thinks when they look at you and the food bowl is full, but they want a minute of your day?
Didja ever wonder why that lightning bolt hit just in the middle of your yard, to scare the crappola out of you?
Didja ever wonder, why with so much beauty in the world, there is so much ugliness?
Didja ever wonder why, you cannot get the last spoonful of peanut butter OUT of the jar?
Didja ever wonder why sometimes you cannot sleep, when you are so tired, but sleep will not come?
Didja ever wonder at a rainbow?
Didja ever wonder at the smells, flowers give? Or fresh-cut grass?
Didja ever wonder how someone can be mean to another person?
Didja ever wonder, what it would be like if you could not be yourself anymore?
Didja ever wonder if you were being selfish?
Didja ever wonder if maybe, just maybe, there were other people who had some of the silly questions you did?
Didja ever wonder if maybe, your purpose was to bring joy to another person?
Didja ever stop to think, you could be helping someone?
Didja ever wish, that things could be normal?
Didja ever question what normal was?
Didja just wish for better all around?
My mind tonite is filled with so many questions, and so many feelings, that I feel. I don’t quite know how to express them, and someone told me, “You are a writer, what the heck?”
Guess what, there are some emotions that go through us, we do not know how to describe, we just feel them, whether they give us pain or joy, we FEEL them. Sometimes there are no words.
I’ve been on a rocky path lately and I know it. It’s ok, I’m dealin….Call me the Queen of hearts, because seriously, I feel it all. From my family to my friends, I have seen it, shared it, (with some), and tried to be “graceful” while doing it. Although to be honest, I am a bit clutzy. (I know anyone who KNOWS me is yelling, NOT you!)
I’ve been humbled in this past week, I’ve been terrified, and I’ve also had some serious giggle moments. I’m walking this path,ok, I’ll admit it, I am crawling this path I’m on. But I’m on it. But ya know what I’ve FINALLY figured out? I’m not on it on my own.
This is from my heart, I’ve been on this journey for a while, but I have a good support system, and it just got bigger, ya wanna know why? Because simply, I’m not in it alone. I have all of my readers, and I have all of my family, friends and everyone else, but ya know what? I’ve truly got God on my side, there is a lesson in this for me, and I’m searching for it, and I WILL find it.
Happy Anniversary to my Parents…..
While this post is a couple of days late, please forgive me. It’s been a crazy couple of days. The past week, I had been talking to Momma and telling her what day it was, and how many more days to go before her “Big day”.
Here they are 32 years ago, when they tied the knot.
And here we are today (well this pic was last year). I brought Momma 3 carnations and 2 roses, and a balloon with “Happy Anniversary” on it for the Farmer.
It was too cute, when the Farmer brought in the balloon, Momma was just getting ready to get up, and Caregiver Beth was helping her. I brought in the flowers and asked where a vase was.
Since we could not locate a vase, I improvised and used an empty wine bottle. When I brought it in and showed Momma, she giggled and said she needed to talk to my parents. Uhm? I looked at her and the Farmer was already giggling, I said, “Uh, Momma you are my parent, whatcha wanna talk about?”. She replied, I was cheeky, but was giggling the whole time.
A fellow blogger of mine, just recently posted a blog about “Nostalgia”, I guess I am feeling it too. Over the past 32 years, I have had the BEST set of parents a girl could ever ask for. (Although in 51 years, I’ve had the Best Dad a girl could ever ask for).
The thing about Momma and the Farmer though? They truly love each other and even though Momma has Parkinson’s, the Farmer does his best to make her feel loved. The times they flirt like they are 18, and make ME blush, well, I guess we all are Blessed.
Happy Anniversary Momma and the Farmer…. Love you both to the moon and back….
My personal Thank You!
On the urging of my family, I entered a contest. The contest was sponsored by “The Michael J. Foundation” on Facebook, and its main goal was to raise awareness of Parkinson’s Disease.
When I first entered it, I was hoping to get at least 100 votes. I truly want to spread the word of this Disease to people. Some of you have read my post “Something hit me hard”, because I was dealt a hand by Facebook, who rectified the situation.
Can I say, that after getting 627 votes (ok, some of those were from my family), I was totally blown away. By the support, and the people (and a bunch of friends, that let me in on some secrets). It seems to me, that there are a number of people, that I know, who are affected with this Disease in one way or another, that I never knew about.
So, I guess I may have raised some awareness, at least I hope I have helped to let people know, there are many that suffer from this Disease.
Let me also say, that ending the contest as number 10, isn’t shabby either. But the only reason I was able to end up in that spot, was because of all those that voted, sometimes as many times as 6 times in one day.
So from me to you, THANK YOU, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!
Weekly Photo Challenge: Culture
Part of my culture and heritage is Farming….. This is my Grandson….kind of carrying on the tradition….
Something hit me hard….
Today, something hit me, and touched me in many different ways. I am involved in a photo contest on Facebook, It’s from the Michael J. Fox‘s Facebook page. It is a photo contest called, I’m curing Parkinson’s Photo Contest.
I’m curing Parkinson’s for my Momma, is my photo with me holding a card stating this fact.
I have shared this on Facebook many times, and asked for people to vote. My family has really picked up the challenge and have put me out there.
The Electrician always votes the first thing in the morning, and when he went to vote this morning he could not find it anywhere. It distressed him, or basically, just kind of surprized him that it was not where it was supposed to be. It was like it was wiped totally off the internet.
When I woke up and went to find the page, I couldn’t find it either, so I tracked down the page and went to the source. I was able to vote, and then when I went to share it, I was told, I could not, due to this being reported to Facebook as spam.
Uhm, what? I will admit, at first I got mad, I mean mad. Facebook throws all kinds of things at me, that I consider spam, and I just go with it and hide it from my page. I think in my whole years I have only reported one item for spam, and that’s because it was mentally, and physically disgusting.
But then I started thinking, I share this page with ALL of my “friends” on Facebook, so has the Electrician, the Nurse, and the Fisher dude. Heck some of my friends have even shared it on their pages.
It really distressed me. I answered Facebook’s questions, and I also hit them up with a question of my own. “While this has been reported as spam, I am in a contest, for Parkinson’s awareness, and you have stated to me it is spam. My question to you, is Parkinson’s spam? Because if it is, would you kindly delete it from the millions of people who suffer from it.
My photo challenge is back up and running. Thank you Facebook.
Welcome to my day….
This morning when I woke up, I was a little groggy around the edges, but managed (with the help of something called coffee), to pull myself together before a cranky little 2 1/2-year-old arrived at my house.
Now yesterday,this little dude was a little ray of sunshine….
It was a sunny day, and we played outside, did a walk of the grounds, looked at bugs, Swept off the porch, and took care of Momma. After leaving the Farmer’s house yesterday, he and I actually went to the park for about 1/2 an hour before I took him home. He did wrangle a promise out of me, though, that we could go back to the park today.
When little dude arrived today, he was…well…a little on the cranky side. After crying for a minute, I got him to calm down, and blow his Momma a kiss out of the window, and then explained a ritual that my family has.
When the Nurse pulled away from my house, she honked her horn 3 times. (short honks). I asked Cam-man if he knew what it meant. When he told me no, I told him let’s go get breakfast, and I’ll explain. After getting his cereal (which today he wanted his Papa’s cereal and not his), we sat down and I told him the story.
How when his Auntie Boo was little and his Papa used to go see her, whenever he would leave, he would always honk his horn 3 times, and it meant “I Love You”. So that every one in the family now does this when we leave each other’s house. So that when his Momma left him at my house this morning, even though she felt bad, because Cam-Man was crying and did not tell her by, she was still telling him “I Love You”. Little dude got very wide-eyed, and almost sniffled again, and told me “I love my Mom”. We had a little conversation about how maybe sometimes when he was tired, he should ALWAYS try to tell his Mom he loved her.
With all of THAT straightened out, after breakfast, he and I headed to the park this morning, because it was supposed to start raining soon. We hung out and did some hard playing for about 30 minutes, and then headed to the Farmer’s. We had quite the conversation in the car, and I realised, that sometimes, the best conversations, are with younger people, who are looking for answers, and in a way they understand them.
We arrived at the Farmer’s right before the rain, and little dude was happily playing at being a pirate. The Farmer had to run out and do a couple of errands, so Cam and I checked on Momma several times, and she was a little snoozy today, so we let her snooze.
Cam and I did the things we do, and he is such a good helper, he loves to sweep, and also to take out the trash. I did have to laugh though because we found a new game, where he walks up my body and then stands on my shoulders. He even told the Farmer “Look Pawpaw, I’m tall”.
It was time for me to go in and get Momma up for the day, and little dude decided to go into pirate mode, and come in and “scare” Momma and me. I think he got a little nervous, when momma growled back at him, so he went into the front room to “growl” at the Farmer.
Now I really do have to pause here for a second and let you know, that the 78-year-old Farmer can “growl” with the best of them, and Momma and I were in fits of giggles in the bedroom over the 2 in the front room, being pirates. At one point, Momma stated “cheekiness at it’s best”, when I asked her who was being “cheeky” she told me, both of them.
Cam did not want to let go of the Farmer and actually had him in a “love hold”, when I came out to get the Farmer, to help me with Momma. Cam grabbed his “B” (blanket) and went and sat in the chair and watched us get Momma up.
Momma did pretty good today, and actually got a neck and back massage by me first and then Cam. She was so totally relaxed, she went back to sleep in her chair. Cam and I packed up and headed out. When we were leaving the driveway though, Cam shouted to me “honk, honk, honk”. I didn’t get what he was saying, until I had driven off, and he brought to my attention, that I don’t honk when leaving the Farmer’s house, and maybe I should.
When we got the Nurse’s house, he did not want to be there, he wanted to go to my house and see his “Papa“. After talking to him, and giving him my hat, he seemed ok, and as I was getting ready to leave, his Dad showed up, and he was happily playing in the garage with his Dad. (This kid is ALL boy).
When I went to back up, I looked at Cam and he was waving at me, so I honked 3 times, and that little kid, blew me a kiss.
My lesson today, you ask? Sometimes I take things for granted and also, as just the norm. I’ve decided that when I leave the Farmer’s house from now on, I will carry on the tradition of honking 3 times, just to let the Farmer and Momma know, that even though I do not say it enough, I Love them.
This little dude is teaching me, as I am teaching him. I think sometimes we are both learning together. But I’m serious when I say, I never knew the Farmer could be THAT loud when playing, nor did I know Momma could growl like a perfect pirate.
Thank you to the Nurse for giving me her gift….I think he is truly cherished by the Farmer, (who states, I kinda like that kid), to Momma who says “cheeky little dude, but my buddy”, to me, who Thanks God for him, and all he has brought me and my parents.
Parkinson’s, Momma and Me….
Have you ever immersed yourself so totally into something that you have found you have gotten tunnel vision? That somehow, you have forgotten to look up and just breath? You have managed to wrap your entire life around something.
These are things I have thought about the past week. Don’t get me wrong, as I have the love and support of my family. But lately, I’ve been so enmeshed in Momma‘s, Parkinson’s and so dreading the next steps, that maybe I’ve seen things, that may or may not have been there.
I do have to quote the Nurse in one of our conversations this past week, “I’ve seen them be on death’s door and then recoup and live for 3-4 years more”. So, that lead me to some deep thinking, and also to an understanding, of myself.
Instead of always thinking the worst, I need to look at the positive. I guess I had one of those AHA moments this past week. Momma was bad…she was sick, and I scared myself silly when I went in to check on her one morning. She was so pale, and seemed to me to be just barely breathing, she was weak, and I got literally so scared. I called the Nurse and asked her to come check on Momma.
I guess in all of my research on Parkinson‘s, and while I don’t have it, I think I know a bunch about it. While I have researched until the sun has gone down and come back up again, the funny thing about this thing called Parkinson’s, is no one has the answers. It affects every person differently. Parkinson’s Dementia is also a another unknown in the medical clan, and research is improving, but still sketchy.
I made a decision this past weekend. As Momma passed her 69th Birthday (twice, because she did not remember celebrating her Birthday on her Birthday, we did it twice).
I have decided, that instead of looking for the end, I will cherish each moment I am given and when God calls Momma, then so be it. I am tired at looking at “signs”, because they get me all upset and torn up, for nothing. No one knows when someone will go “home”, and while all the “signs” can be there, Momma is like a rally squirrel. If she’s not ready, then I’m keeping her here.
Are we tired? Hell yes we are, the Farmer is tired, and I know this. But what happened between the Farmer and Momma today, made my heart swell. When I was getting Momma up, and I needed the Farmer’s help, and he came into the room, and told her how beautiful she was, and she asked who that “good looking man was”, I felt truly Blessed. The love they have for each other, even with this horrible disease, made me happy.
Parkinson’s affects every one differently. We have lived with it for a while. We’ve only dealt with the “bad” part of it for about 2 years. But when I look at everything, I try to place myself in her shoes, and try to feel how she feels. I can’t do it without totally feeling helpless. It’s not a good feeling. I can only help as much as I can, and try to make her days, better.
I know she loves me, she tells me everyday. We share so many giggles, even when she is not feeling her best. One spark in her day is her love for Cam-man, (who is my Grandson), they share a bunch, to who can go on the potty, instead of in their pants. To holding hands and giggling together. The young and the old…..there is so much to be said for that. I can’t even begin to tell you.
I don’t really even know where I am going with this post, but this is just an insight of my mind, going through some stuff.
Whew….I made it….
This week has been a week. While I am not really complaining, because there is a silver lining in everything, and I am truly Blessed, (at least I think so), sometimes things can get a little crazy.
The beginning of the week, I’ve already told you about, and the fact the Farmer let me drive his “other” prized baby, was a feat in itself. The fact, I drove it, and had fun in it, was a bonus. Momma had her birthday 2 days in a row, simply because she thought it was her birthday 2 days in a row. PDD is really a butt kicker sometimes. But rather than spoil it for her, we celebrated her birthday 2 days in a row.
I guess, if I could not eat cake and stuff, and open presents, I would want to savor the moment as long as I could. Momma did celebrate her birthday, by being checked out by the Nurse, and also getting to eat some sherbet. Well….2 tablespoons of sherbet were all that she got, but she did manage to swallow all of it. I even asked her and made her open her mouth to make sure it was gone. Momma loves any form of ice cream, sherbet or anything along those lines. Her face lit up when she saw the spoon with the “cherished” treat on it.
Momma is still suffering from a cold, and has good snotty days and then better days, as in no snot. This has been an issue for me this week, and the Farmer has truly laughed hard at me. (Rotten rat). It seems, that while I can handle most things, as in the crappiest pants, the vomit, and the nastiest smell, when it comes to the snot factory, I will throw up in a heart beat. If I don’t actually throw up, I will definatley gasp and struggle for control, sometimes it works, sometimes it does not. Cam-Man has gotten into the program although unknowingly. He will pick his nose and hand it to me, and I will start gagging. UGH enough about THAT….
Our issues started about Thursday, when I was allowed to drive the Farmer’s beloved truck, It started raining and I did not think it would ever end. I finished my day and went to bed as usual, but at about 4 am, the Electrician came back to bed, and said, “hon the carpet is wet”. “Uh, what?” I got up to go to the restroom and squished my way there. I freaked out and started flipping on lights and then realised, OH CRAP….I live in a bi-level and part of our main living space is downstairs. Our “sports” room, is where we hang out the most, our bedroom is downstairs, and the garage and bathroom are here.
Well….the garage was flooded, and so was the half of the sports room. The Electrician got up and started trying to get the water out of here. It really was not as bad as it could have been, but it was squishy bad. After working on the house for about 1 1/2 hours the Electrician went to work, and I took over. I pulled up the carpet in the sports room, and did what I could, and then left for the Farmer’s house. It was Friday, and I made a deal with the Farmer, I would let him sleep in on Fridays, so I leave my house and arrive at his house at about 7:45 am, give Momma her first meds of the day, and the Farmer gets to sleep in.
Folks, I truly wish I could have the energy I had in my 20′s and 30′s, but being where I am now (nope I’m not gonna tell you how old I am, or how old I feel), I left my house said a prayer and just hoped it would dry out.
I usually clean the Farmer’s house on Friday’s, and let me just say, while I did do somethings, I kinda let other’s go. I played with the Farmer and gave him lessons on his new laptop computer. I do have to say, he and I both giggled a bunch.
When I finally arrived home, I was ever so happy that it appeared things had dried out, so I finished sucking up the rest of the water with the shop vac, and moving things to help the carpet dry. When the Electrician arrived home, and looked at what I had done, he was happy, although, call me a silly girl, but I did not move anything, and um oops, there was still some water underneath things I did not move.
Fast forward to today, and my house is finally back to normal, there is nothing wet or squishy. Thank goodness. Carpets have dried and been cleaned to within an inch of their lives, rugs have been washed and back into place.
While I could say this week has been trying, not just for me, but for all of America with all the things going on in the nation. My little spot in the world is okay. And…we are keeping on with what is our normal.
Long day Thursday…
Today has been my what I like to call my Long day Thursday. My usual routine is thrown totally our of whack. I get up early and head over to the Nurse’s house and then fall asleep on the couch waiting for Cam-Man to wake up and then go back to my house, and start my day.
Today was a little different, first of all, I don’t have the beloved Rav 4. I have the Farmer’s “truck”. Now folks, I am used to driving my Rav 4, or the Electricians’s Chevy S10, but I am sporting the Farmers Chevy Silverado with a king cab.
This is not the Farmer’s truck, but it looks kinda like this. Okay, for the record, I am 4’11″, and had to use the “crawl” bar that is on the Farmer’s truck to just get into the cab.. Why am I driving this? you ask, well, let me tell you. After the Nurse’s car “blew up” so to speak…I asked the Farmer to borrow his “Truck” (which I may add has been neglected because he is sporting a new Toyota“) Was simply because the Nurse had to have her car go to the Auto Dr. and have it fixed.
I volunteered my Rav 4 to the Nurse, and begged the Farmer for the Truck, (which has been neglected in the garage, but I will get to that). When the whole thing went down, I asked the Farmer if I could borrow his truck for a few days, and HE LET ME HAVE IT…..ok, forgive me for being silly, because I am not usually allowed to drive his vehicles, and I am truly honored, that I got to take his beloved truck for a day or so.
While I may seem like I am being nasty, I really am not. I am just telling the Farmer in my own way, I LOVE YOUR TRUCK. Was I scared, YES, folks it’s a BIG truck. I managed to drive it, AND park it back into the garage it is housed in. Uh… I have NEVER parked a car, truck or even a lawn mower in a garage, because well…I haven’t.
I’m a little loopy, because this is my “long” day. But what I do want to say, is, Thank you to the Farmer for entrusting me with his truck, conversations throughout this morning were tense. It’s been raining in my area today, and some serious rain at that, and the Farmer although I know he trusts me, was worried some about his truck. I can say the truck and me came out fine, (although I did have him park in the garage for the last time, because I might have or might not have cut it a little to close the last time I parked it in the garage.)
I lead an incredibly Blessed life, folks, I’m not kidding. There are no words to describe, my life in the past 24 hours…..there is a bunch more to this story, but…I’m, pooped.
To My Momma, who thought today was her Birthday, there are no words to describe the Love I have for you.
To the Farmer, there are not enough words to even begin to describe how I feel about you. Arguing, and giggling, and just the warm hugs, our love for Momma, shining through, and I was paying attention to what you told me, and I hope you were paying attention to what I told you.
I am the daughter of a Parkinson’s Momma, with the love of her and my Father….tomorrow is another day….
