Today was my long day, I have them once a week, and sometimes, I feel like I will never get through them.
It started with my happy butt (uhhm, ok maybe not so happy, but my butt did) roll out of bed, because I decided that instead of Cam-man getting up SUPER early, it would be easier for me to roll out of bed, at some unheard of hour…and go to his house and let him sleep in. When the Electrician, (who gets up at this early hour of the morning, God Love him), woke me up, I stumbled to the coffee pot. It was still dark outside. I managed to change out of my p.j’s into some sweats, grabbed my cup of coffee and hit the road.
I arrived at the Nurse and Fisher dude’s house, and I guess I was sorta awake, because I parked my car on the right side of the garage and stumbled into the house. The Fisher dude was laughing at me. I guess I might have looked a bit scary that early in the morning…. He left, and Bella (the dog) and I curled up on the couch to watch the news. Bella and I were just getting comfy, when Cam-man came down the hallway, dragging his blanket like Linus (from Charlie Brown). When Cam saw me in his house he yelled “No, Memaw, YOUR house”. I guess poor little dude thought that he had to get up early to go to my house and I had him totally confused by being in HIS house.
After we both kind of woke up and let Bella go outside a couple of times, I asked him if he wanted to go to my house, and I was yelled at with a big YES. So, Cam got dressed for the day and we headed for my house. We had breakfast at my house and did a couple of things (Curious George was on the menu for t.v.). We then got ready to go to the Farmer’s. (Yes,, I did change clothes).
We were on the road and ready to go, when something the Electrician had told me last night stuck in my head. Cam and I stopped at a favorite store of ours, and we went “shopping”. Cam ended up with a couple of outfits and so did Camsgranny.
We headed out to the Farmer’s and things were normal there. We did our stuff, and took care of Momma, and then we got the phone call. Momma DOES NOT have C-def. we then planned a party. In between all the stuff Cam and I do, we decided that since the weather was so good, we (Cam and I) were going outside to play for a bit.
Imagination is alive and well. I am here to tell you. Between the pirate ship that attacked us (the shed) , the sharks as well (the garden), and the whale that saved us (the gas tank), Cam and I had a really good time playing outside. The Rabbit who fled from the tall grass, played into our favor, by being the one who showed us the “whale’.
When it was time to go, we piled into the car, and Cam was asleep before we even left the driveway. We had a hard day of saving us from pirates. We got to my house, and I unloaded the car and Cam never even woke up when I unloaded him and brought him inside. Cam’s Daddy (Fisher dude) came and got Cam, and he was not to happy to be woken up.
The Electrician arrived home and we had a fleeting moment before I went back over to the Farmers to sit with Momma (today is Caregiver Beth’s day off). When I arrived, Momma asked me if the party was still on. Well, heck yeah it was.
Momma and I spent our evening with her in bed, and we both toasted with some apple juice, while her’s was on a mouth swab and mine was a sip, we celebrated. We watched Little House on the Prairie, and The Walton’s, While I may have changed her bed stuff 4 times, it was ok, because Momma and I have a routine, and she was so giggly, it made me smile.
The Best part of my day, was Momma telling me I was the Best daughter in the world, and I told her she was the Best Momma in the world. I could not do what I do, without the Love and support of the Electrician. Thank you so much to him for supporting me, and letting me take care of her. The pay isn’t anything, but the rewards to my heart are everything.
Where I live in Central Illinois, we got a heck of a snow storm yesterday and last night, it is probably the most snow we have had all of this winter season. It would have been nice if it happened in December, but not especially in March. Last night, the Electrician and I watched it, had our power flicker about 3 times, and at one point, the Electrician went out and shovelled off our deck. Simply for the fact, it was a very heavy and wet snow, and I did not want the deck to collapse. While areas around us, got up to 18.5 inches of snow, we thought we were lucky with the 11′ we got.
This morning dawned and the Electrician went out and shovelled the sidewalk, and also cleared off both of our cars, but it was still snowing. He went to work and gave me strict instructions, I was not to go anywhere. He called several times on his normal 25 minute ride to work, which took him almost an hour, and told me it was bad.
The Farmer called me several times this morning, and while I guess His area did not get what I had, and he informed the roads were clear, I told him, at this point, I could not get out of my driveway. The Electrician had dug out my driveway so to speak, but my neighbor came along and used his snow blower to make my driveway more accessible. I had yet to see a snowplow.
Around noon, I got brave. That was my first mistake. I decided I could drive it, heck the Farmer said the roads were clear, and apparently in the next town over, the roads were clear, so what the heck?
Well, let me inform you and everyone else, my brave a$$ was very stupid. Making it out of my driveway, piece of cake, driving through town, easy, getting out onto one of the most treacherous roads in the county, STUPID.
Driving 20 mph, I must have hit a patch of snow/ice and my Rav4 and I did a 360′ across a lane and straight into a ditch. God was watching out after me though. First off, there was no oncoming traffic, second off I screamed the whole time like a sissy, and third off I did not hurt the Rav4.
After catching my breath and prying my hands off the steering wheel, I took a second to get my bearings and realized I was in trouble. It was STILL frigging snowing, and I was scared. There was no way I could get the Rav4 out, when I opened the door to get out and assess the damage, I stepped out into waist-high snow. I realize I am short, but DAMN…. I called the Farmer and let vent with a stream of cuss words, (Sorry Dad).
Luckily for me, I grabbed my cell phone and called one of my BFF’s and asked her where her hubby was, she gave me his number and I called him. He said oops, Jo, I’ll be there in about 20 minutes. Meanwhile, a County Sheriff, (whom I also know) pulled up and was going to try to push me out, until his butt was up to it in Snow. “Jo, uhm, I’m not sure how you did this”. “Well duh…neither do I…” “The only thing I am allowed to do, since I am on duty is call a towing Co. for you”…forget about that, I got a friend who is coming to help me. He went on his merry way, and I was sitting there and the only thing I could think about, is my husband is going to kill me.
A red truck pulled over and a guy got out, and I almost got scared, until I realized it was one of the Electrician’s and my friends. “Jo..uhm…you want me to pull you out?” (By now I AM FACE PALMING MYSELF…duh) “Yes, please, and what ever you do, PLEASE do not tell the Electrician that you did this ok?” Our friend pulled the Rav4 out with no problem, and come to find out, they had passed me right after my very unhappy butt got stuck and turned around just to help me.
My friend drove my car back into town, and then let me drive my VERY unhappy butt home. I was trying to figure out how to tell the Electrician that I had tried to venture out on my own.
I learned a very hard lesson today, folks. By my own hard headiness (is that even a word?) I risked my life when I should have just listened to the Electrician . If there had been oncoming traffic when I hit that icy/snowy patch, I could be in the hospital right now. I was VERY lucky, that I live in a small town, where people “rescue”other idiot drivers, who should just stay home.
I did tell the Electrician about it, when he arrived home, he was not very happy with me at all. Heck at this point, I am just thankful that the ending was happy.
So, I guess the moral of my story is, when it snows that much, keep your happy butt at home. Because in all honesty, MY roads were not clear, and obviously, I cannot drive on that stuff.
See this little dude?
This was way back when, he was first starting to walk, dance and giggle…..
He took naps and didn’t really say very much.
He kept Momma on her toes, and they spent a bunch of time together. That was back in the day, where Momma was still able to walk, and do some things for herself, she could eat meals, it might have taken her a bit, but she at least got to eat real food. They both loved ice cream.
It has been a bunch of years, since I have dealt with a toddler, considering “my baby” is 29. Somewhere along the line I forgot, the endless questions….. The biggest one being right now, What is this?, What is this? What is that? The energy is something else that I am amazed at.
This morning, because the Nurse had a test, she brought this little ray of sunshine to my house at 7 a.m. I need to just state for the record, I was awake (barely). The Electrician had left the house about 30 minutes prior to this and he sent Ms. Baby in to wake me up. Basically, I was woken up by a cat kicking me. What the heck? It was still dark outside for crying out loud.
I managed to surface and was going for a cup of coffee when this bundle arrived. He was just as unhappy at being snatched out of his bed, as I was. We both stumbled into the kitchen, me for coffee, him for a mug of chocolate milk. I sat on the couch and turned on the t.v., Cam-man crawled into the rocker, blanket and mug in hand, then perked up when the t.v. came on.
Now Cam and I have a couple of favorite t.v. shows that we have watched all throughout his tender 2 1/2 years of growing up. Curious George is a serious favorite of both of us. After finishing our respective drinks, it was time for breakfast. Cam picked out his Oatmeal for the day, and I made it and he scarfed it down. We both got dressed and then the phone rang. Now, honestly in my house if the phone rings before 8 am, I get nervous. I get REALLY nervous, when the call is from the Farmer. The Farmer was calling me to make sure I arrived at his house by 9;30, he thought he would be catching me sleeping, but guess what? Nope I was more than half way ready to go to his house!
Cam and I did some things around my house, and then headed on down the road. The drive to the Farmer’s almost did Cam in and his eyes were droopy. We arrived, and Cam perked up, and then swagged into the Farmer’s to show the Farmer his new hat that he got over the weekend.
The Farmer left to do his errands, and Cam and I did some stuff around there. We decided to go outside for a bit, even though it was not really a nice day, it was still a bit warmer than it has been. We played a game, and Cam-man raced down the wheelchair ramp and I climbed down the stairs, we both ran to the Rav 4 touched it and then ran back. We played races for about 20 minutes.
It was time to go in and get Momma up, and Cam helped me bring all of her bath stuff into her room, and then sat on the bed while Momma got her bath. Momma and Cam kept up a chatter the whole time. When it was time for Mom to get up, Cam went running into the living room to get the Farmer, he grabbed his hand and dragged him into the room.
Momma made it out into the living room and Cam, being the kid he is, had run in front of us and had his stool in front of momma’s chair and was sitting there waiting for her. Unfortunatly, we had to kick him out of the chair, and Momma got seated and situated.
Cam picked up all of his toys that were thrown everywhere, and we got ready to leave. We gave kisses and then I loaded Cam up and away we went. We had not even gone about a mile down the road and I looked in the back seat, and little dude was fast asleep, with his blanket and thumb in place. I drove back to our town and called the Nurse, when I was right around the corner from her house, and told her to meet me in the garage. Cam was unloaded and I don’t think he ever woke up.
I arrived home and finished everything I had left to do. I was just sitting here, reflecting on my day, and I was thinking to myself. First, I was wondering what I got myself into, then I realised, that this is all a Blessing. Cam, helps so much with Momma in a way I cannot describe. She is enjoying it, and the Farmer is enjoying his company. I can handle all of the questions, What is this? What is that? I can proudly say that Cam, can now count to 10, can recite half of his abc’s, and he is not even 3 yet.
One of his major things, is he kept calling me Teacher this morning, until I asked him, Cam…who am I? He looked at me, and then he said Meemaw. So, I guess, not only am I Meemaw, I guess I am a Teacher too. I’m cool with that……..
After writing last nights post, I realized, I had forgotten to put a couple of pictures in, so I am backtracking a bit before I get to the next chapter. As I stated before it was raining when we got to the Isle of Roatan, but after it stopped, we ventured out again.
This is what we saw when we looked out from our balcony, I don’t know what was going on over at the Marina, but it sounded like a large party. I ended up dancing on my balcony to the music.
This was the view we had while walking around the compound. The Carnival ship “Dream,” had backed into the docks, after we had docked. The ships are both BIG, and it was neat to see how they maneuvered.
We did not do any “excursions” on this trip, simply because we wanted to just relax and not worry about having to be somewhere at a certain time, nor follow any “rules” while we were on the cruise. We enjoyed our time while in Mahogony Bay. We walked around the shops, and I fell in love with a bunch of stuff.
The Electrician reminded me though, if I bought even half of what I saw and liked, I would not have room for ANYTHING in my luggage. I will say this though, the things they make out of mahogany wood, are incredible. They also have a hefty price tag to go with them. I really liked a condiment dish made out of mahogany, it had a hefty price tag, and there was no way I could fit it into my luggage. So, while I fondled it lovingly, I put it back on the shelf and kept on walking.
When we got back on the ship, it was Elegant night for the dining in the dining room. Basically what that means, dress in your finest. There were 2 nights like this on the cruise, and when you had to “dress up” it usually meant, your meal was going to be fabulous. While the first of the Elegant nights, I basically wore, what I wore to oldest son’s wedding last year. The second night though, I wore youngest daughter‘s maid of honor dress at her sister’s wedding that I had adjusted for me. (I have no aversion to hand me downs, trust me).
I was ready to go, and for the first time, the Electrician was willing to take a picture with me while we were all cleaned up and looking spiffy. He took my pic while I was on the balcony. Then my Outlaws arrived and the serious picture-taking began…
Cleaned up, we look pretty good……
We did have a very good meal that night, something about Lobster tails and prime rib, with appetizers, and a desert too. Although not for me, I had stuffed myself silly on the other stuff, and after dinner, my happy butt went to change clothes. I may or may have not eaten myself into a frenzy.
I do have to say, with Carnival (this is not a paid advertisement) I enjoyed going back to my cabin after dinner, simply because the ‘cabin dude” had already been there and turned down our bed every night, with the next day’s agenda and chocolates left on the end of the bed, along with a new “creature” made out of towels on the bed.
This is most of them. Our next port of call was Belize…..I will post more about that tomorrow, but I will leave you with a teaser…..Our ship, threw her anker down 5 miles from the port, and we had to take a “tender” ship to arrive in the port of Belize. It was an “interesting” stop, a little scary, but enjoyable. My beloved Electrician took this pic, which is also in my top ten of the cruise.
After taking the flight and arriving in Biloxi, I was a happy camper. I had left some seriously cold weather, to arrive in what is considered by “southerners” as cold weather. 60′ degree’s, wearing a short sleeve shirt and flip flops….yea, it was “torture”…hehehehe…
My “outlaws” met us at the airport, and hugs were given all round, and then we went to their house and dropped off our luggage, and then went to my sissy‘s house. She had made dinner for all of us. One year, is way to long to go for seeing your loved one’s. Sissy had made dinner for us, and after the initial hugs and kisses were given, we all got busy, setting the table and scoping out all of the new things done to her house since I had last seen it. Dinner, was awesome. Sissy had made us Gumbo. We spent the next day just goofing off, and doing some shopping.
Sunday morning rolled around, and the Electrician and I and my “outlaws” loaded up the car and took a trip to New Orleans. We made our way to the niece’s house, and stopped to visit them for a bit, and then they drove us to the New Orleans Port. They dropped us off, and my ‘outlaws” the Electrician and I boarded the Carnival Conquest for our journey to begin.
For the past couple of years, my outlaws have given the Electrician and I, a present of a cruise. Last year, we went to Jamaica, where sissy and I ziplined, the Grand Cayman‘s, and then Cozumel. Unfortunately for sissy, this year she had started a new job and could not go, and trust me when I say she was missed.
Yes, this would be me. The first drink of the cruise, off of our balcony leaving New Orleans. We have sailed on this ship before, so we kinda of knew the layout of the ship. But for some reason the Electrician and my “outlaws” were turned around. Our rooms were 2 rooms apart from each other on the same deck, and instead of being in front of the ship, this year we were toward the rear of the ship. I kinda liked “knowing” where we were.
Being on the other side of the ship so to speak, we did not see the sunrise, but we had some truly awesome sunsets. We did however, get up early enough to get some pics of the sunrise. Okay, pfft, who am I kidding, yes, I slept in while the Electrician went up top to get pics of the sunrise.
Our first stop on our cruise after 2 days at sea was the Isle of Roatan. It was a tropical paradise. The Electrician and I both took pictures, and then both giggled, because we both had taken the same shots, so to speak. I was floored by the birds. The music of birds, was amazing. I do remember something from my childhood, with the Farmer being in the Navy, “Red sky at night sailer’s delight, Red sky in the morning, sailors take warning” We had mostly red sky at night…..
The day we arrived at the Isle of Roatan, it was raining, and while the Electrician and I and the “outlaws” ate our breakfast in front of the window on the top deck, we enjoyed the scene. We laughed and giggled, and truly just enjoyed the atmosphere. This was the first stop of 3. The memories are truly just flowing through my mind. I wanted to write about my journey while I was taking it, so the Electrician bought me a notebook, so I could chronicle my journey. The funniest thing about that though? I wrote in the journal for 3 days solid, and then could not write anymore, I just soaked up the adventure and let go of everything, that had been on my mind, and worried about.
I felt free, and no stress, no worries, just enjoying everything around me. I still had dreams, and I tried not to let them bother me. Sometimes, we just need to let go and just live for the moment, and that’s kinda what I did. I cannot tell you how many times I laughed, or giggled,or just sat and people watched. There is a lot more to my journey, but I will end it here at the first stop.
Sometimes, after a trip like this, it takes a couple of days to get back into the “swing” of it, and I’m learning, I’m not as young as I once was. Stay tuned for part 3, cuz that’s tomorrow’s post….
He y’all, I’m BACK!!!! I have just spent the most relaxing 13 days. I cannot even begin to explain the fun I had, and the joy I’ve felt. I would like y’all to take this journey with me. I took some pictures, and I truly did have a marvelous time.
Did I miss Momma? Yes. Did I miss the stress of dealing with Momma everyday? No, I will be selfish here and state for the record, My “Outlaws” (whom I love beyond recognition, besides the Farmer of course) showed the Electrician and I, a truly good time and lots of giggles and a love that is endless. As a “daughter-in-law”, I have to state, I love these people as much as I love my own parents.
This was a journey and a true “vacation” in every sense of the word. Our “journey” started on Valentines day. A day, that I don’t really recognize, because my love, is everyday and to me, every day is Valentine’s day.
While the Electrician went to work for a half a day, I stayed home and scrubbed my house “squeaky” clean, did laundry and then packed up the RAV 4 with our luggage. We were off to Indy to spend the night before we flew out the next morning. We had made reservations for a “room” at a Hotel in Indy, we actually used our ‘points” for the room which was “supposed” to be a “king size bed” room.
When the Electrician arrived home after half a day of work, he took a quick shower and then, we hit the road. We both were so excited, and we were talking up a storm in the car. We made a pit stop at an Arby’s to have a quick-lunch, and then down the road we went.
We arrived at our hotel, and unloaded after checking in. We rode the elevator up to our room, when we got there, I stuck the key in and then after opening the door, I asked the Electrician, “Where is the bed?” he was giggling…. Folks, what I thought would be a room with a king size bed in it, was a Suite. Knock me down with a feather.
I went into the room, and just kept asking “Is this right?, This isn’t our room is it?”. Yes, it was, my beloved Electrician had used his “points” to book us a “Suite”, with a jacuzzi tub to boot.
After I had picked myself up off the floor, we decided where to go to dinner. We had Prime rib and all the fixings that night and then back to the Hotel for a little soak in the “tub” hehehehe….
We got up early to be ready to leave for our flight down to Biloxi, the next morning….
Here’s some pics of what I had to “suffer” through
The piece to resistance…..yup…here it is…
Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined a Hotel room as such. If it werent for the fact that the Electrician and I had been so tired, I probably would have utilized it more than we did. (wink).
As it was, when the wake up call came for us to wake up and get ready (which for me accumulated to o’dark thirty), We hit the road, grabbed breakfast and then off to the Airport.
We were on time, and went through the “let me search all of your cavities search” and boarded the plane for our adventure. Yes folks, here I am ready to go on the plane and waiting for take-off….
Tune in tomorrow for Part 2….This shorties is whacked and needs some sleep… While Vacations are always fun, and it’s nice to be Home. It’s back to reality for me……
Watch out Momma here I come, AND, I found some monkeys for you too.
Ok, y’all, I’ve been pretty silent on some of the things I got for Christmas. That was for a reason. I had to wait for some of them to be unwrapped. Well…today, some of the gifts were unwrapped so to speak. I am leaving on an adventure. For those of you that have followed me for a while…. Yup… I got the same (but a little different) gift from my “Outlaws” as I did last year. It will be spent with my “Outlaws” and my cherished hubby and I. Unfortunately this year, my Husband’s Sissy cannot go and while I will miss her, I’m sorry. But I am going to have a good time. So, if you don’t hear from me for a bit, know that all is well, and I promise to tell y’all about it when I return.
Before I start my original post, I want to share with you something that happened to me yesterday. In a short follow-up of my post “In her eyes”, where I stated that I felt I was “unique”. The Electrician and I decided to splurge yesterday after church and we went out to “lunch”. We went to my favorite place called “The Habachi Grill”, we were celebrating the Chinese New Year, as yesterday was it. After stuffing myself silly (I burped a bunch). The time came for the check and the fortune cookies. When I broke mine open and read it, I sat for a few minutes kind of dumbfounded. The Electrician looked at me and asked me what was wrong. I showed him my “fortune” from my cookie, and he smiled at me and said “Yep, that’s you”. This is what the cookie said “Your uniqueness is more than an outward experience”. I took it to mean, that I am learning more from journey than I ever thought.
Ok, with all of that being said, I have to arrive at today. It arrived with me getting up and trying to wake up. I had planned to go over to the Farmer’s early to let him sleep in, and I have got that sneaking into the house thing down pat now. (Too bad it didn’t work when I was a teenager.)
I gave Momma her first meds of the day, when she saw it was me with my cold hands on her warm body, she kind of giggled, but then promptly fell back asleep. I got busy doing the things I do. The Farmer surfaced, and truly enjoyed sleeping in.
Momma had a Doctor’s appointment today, and while I know she gets nervous, things seemed to go smoothly, with the exception of the Farmer. I got Momma up and dressed and shiny and clean. She was all for her adventure (simply because she knew we were not leaving town today). The Nurse was coming to help get Momma into the car and go visit the Doctor with us. We needed her “Nursing skills” to help us ask the Doctor questions.
The Farmer was getting ancy because he thinks he needs at least an hour to get to a place 15 minutes away. (No offense Dad, but we still made it at the appropriate time of 15 minutes early, just sayin..) Momma was buttoned up buttercup in the Farmer’s jacket, because it has a hood on it, and we were giggling about how the hood went over her entire face. My thought was something from Star Wars….where the hoods covered all of their faces. Momma was ready to roll out to the car that the Farmer had warming up in the driveway, and he was getting a little snippy with me. The Nurse pulled into the driveway, just as we were rolling Momma out on the ramp. She jumped right in, and got Momma all seated in the back seat, and rode in the back with her.
I felt a little ousted of my “spot” in the backseat with Momma, as I had to ride in the front with the Farmer. But when I heard the giggles and love from the backseat with the Nurse and momma, I was okay. You see, it’s been a while since the Nurse has had time to spend with her Grandma, and while she’s my Momma, she is also the Nurse’s Grandma. They have a special bond, and I can see it. After we had checked in with the Receptionist, and Momma and I and the Nurse were sitting together, the Farmer was across from us, Momma actually said, looking at me and the Nurse “I love you guys so much”. I thought my heart would burst from the love between all of us today.
We arrived at the Doctor’s and the Nurse was examining Momma’s feet when the Doctor arrived in the room. Giggles were spent when the Doctor asked if he needed to look at Momma’s feet, and it was a decisive NO from the Farmer, Momma, Me and the Nurse. The exam went well, and everything is normal. Well…as normal as it can be with Parkinson’s. We were advised to try some therapy on Momma and a heating pad too, because of Parkinson’s her muscles tend to spasm, and we need to massage them more to give her some comfort.
We set up another appointment to have her (as the Farmer stated) tummy tube replaced. (It is actually a feed tube, and that is not the correct term). Momma has another appointment to change her feeding tube, she will have to go through another surgery, and we made the appointment for a time we will all be available.
We loaded back into the car and arrived home, and then gave Momma a break, she was much more relaxed when she was at home, because Home is her safe place. I know this. I cannot even begin to explain what it meant to Momma and I and the Farmer to have the Nurse go on this trip with us. Momma sure enjoyed it, and even made some giggles with the Nurse. The Nurse even mentioned to me a couple of times how much she has missed Momma. The funny thing to me, and ok, this next part might be graphic, but when we got Momma home the first thing we did was to put her on her toilet. I believe she was happy about it because she did her business. But when it came time for the cleaning up part, I was the one that put on the gloves, and cleaned Momma up. I looked at the Nurse, and told her, “Uhm, I realize you are an LPN now and you don’t do this anymore huh?”. Momma and the Nurse both laughed, because Yep, it’s true.
Today, was a day that is filed in my memory banks, it was truly a GOOD day. Thank you to my daughter the Nurse, and thank you to the Farmer who did not have a heart attack because he thought we would be late.
But most of all, Thank you to Momma, who is truly a trooper, and has the strength of someone I can only wish to be. I Love My Momma.
I read an article in a magazine last month, and I was truly engrossed. As a Caregiver to Momma, I am all about finding out tips, or suggestions, from other’s that also occupy “my sort of world”. The article was very informative, with the exception, the article was written for an Alzheimer’s Caregiver.
Momma does not have Alzheimer’s, although I am familiar with that disease too. My Cousin/Aunt Kay had it, and it wasn’t pretty either. It seems to me that there are a lot of Diseases out there, and they are given a lot of time in the news, or front-runner of charities.
Momma has Parkinson’s. (I know you all know this, but go with me on my train of thought for the moment). While I acknowledge that Alzheimer’s is a very nasty thing, I would like to add that Parkinson’s rates right up there too.
But again, I digress, and I am famous for that. My mind is going so fast that I am having a hard time keeping up with what I originally started out to say. That happens to me sometimes.
The article that I read, gave some idea’s on how Caregiver’s could retain their well-being. It’s hard to be a Caregiver, especially if you are a Caregiver to a member of your family. There are so many dynamics that enter into the picture. You hurt just not for the person going through it, but also for all of the family members going through it with the person. Be it, Mother, Father, sister, brother, or you, the person that has it.
I am a unique person and I acknowledge this (I am not patting myself on the back here, I am letting you into my world). When I look at Momma, and I know momma. I see what she see’s. I put myself into her shoes, and I realize to an extent how it feels.
I would not like the fact, that I am no longer able to any thing by myself. I am at every one’s mercy for my well-being. I used to be able to get up by myself and go to the restroom and wipe my own butt, I could give myself a bath, I could dress myself, and walk by myself into the other room. I could grab my car keys and drive myself anywhere. I could form a sentence and carry on a conversation with anyone. I did not see things that are not there, I was able to carry on and eat anything I wanted. But now? Now I am reduced to not being able to do anything myself. I cannot even roll over in bed by myself. I am fed by a tube, and I so crave a simple piece of pepperoni pizza. I’m scared of the night-time, and I don’t like the dark. I have so many thoughts going on in my head, and I cannot make my mouth say them. Sometimes, I get the words out and I let my husband and daughter know how much I love them, but my mind is clouded and I cannot form my words. I choke on my own spit, and get scared. I had so many dreams of when I got older, this was not one of them.
These are some of the thoughts in my head, when I put myself into Momma’s shoes. I’ve talked to Momma, and these things are true. While Caregiver Beth and the Farmer, get some good things, Momma shares with me her innermost thoughts at times. I’ve carried this inside me for so long, that I am erupting in emotions about now.
I guess, as the Daughter of a Momma with Parkinson’s it is important for me to know these things. I only have my Momma’s best interests at heart. While I cannot easily say this does not hurt, because it does, maybe, it is something I was meant to do. Simply because of events in my life have led me to this point.
With all of the above being said, my true reason for writing this post was to put into motion that Caregivers, need Caregivers as well. There are times when I am so low that I cannot even see daylight. When I feel that the burden is too much for me to bear. But you know what? There is daylight, and there are great memories, and it is what it is. I am a very lucky girl. I have a family that loves me, and will not let me do this by myself. I have a wealth of Caregivers, who give me care. From the Electrician, who supports me and lets me do this, even while we may not have enough money that we need, to my kids, who just call me to say what’s up, to my friends I’ve met through my blogging world who keep tabs on me.
Life is a journey, embrace every moment, enjoy everything, tell each and every person that you Love, you love them. And at the end of the day, know that you have given your all. Sometimes life throws us some curve balls, just be ready to catch them, and above all, believe in your heart, and go with it.
Camsgranny is tired, ya’ll have no idea. Well some of you may. I feel like I have lived a lifetime today. I’ve been up, I’ve been down, I’ve felt good and I’ve felt bad.
I have come to the point in this journey that I have done something called, acceptance. It’s not an easy word to write nor accept. I have had long talks this past week with Caregiver Beth, and Dad. Neither of them made me feel any better. I also had a long talk with Momma today. That did not make me feel any better either.
I am not trying to “borrow” trouble so to speak, but I Know what’s coming.
This past week has been filled with trials and tribulations. Folks to put it bluntly, we are scared. Well to clarify that statement, the Farmer and Caregiver Beth are scared. You see, this past week, Momma showed Caregiver Beth and the Farmer something I deal with on a daily basis.
Momma cannot swallow. period, end of sentence. I have researched the topic in-depth GREATLY. When a Parkinson’s‘ patient gets to Stage 5, it’s all kinds of trouble and nasty things that the family has to scramble to make right. But you have to realize “YOU” cannot make it right.
The only thing to do at this point is to make her comfortable, happy, and go with the flow. I really am not trying to be depressing at this point, I am just letting y’all know it’s nasty in my world right now.
Caregiver Beth see’s it and is scared, The Farmer see’s it and does not want to acknowledge it. I understand both reactions. I guess that’s why, I am the strong one so to speak. I see it, I understand it ( to a degree), I’m not happy about it, but I also understand what we have to do at this time..
This is Momma’s time, we make her comfortable and make her smile, giggle or whatever, Momma is scared too, of the unknown. One of the things that stands out in my mind today, is something Momma told me. “Thank you, for everything, you have made me happy in more ways than you know, and I love you daughter, just like you were my own.”
I am her own, because I was the only daughter she would have in her life, and she is my Momma. While I may be torn up inside, I know, that everything I do to help her through her journey, is only to let her know she is loved, and if I can bring A GIGGLE to her face, and let her know she is loved, then it is all worth it to me.
Parkinson‘s totally sucks some green Twinkies. I say this, because MY Momma will always be the woman she was, not what Parkinson’s has turned her into, but what I remember in my mind, of all of the things we have had.
Today with Momma was a good day, she knew who I was, and responded to me, in true Momma style. It’s not going to get any better, and I know this, she’s going downhill, and I know this also.
But ya know what? It’s our journey, and we will do whatever it takes.