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didja ever…..part 1000000

Didja ever, wonder about the stars?

didja ever wonder about life?

didja ever wonder, where you are today is where you would be?

didja ever wonder,  how confused life can get?

didja ever wonder, how can things be so out of whack, that you can’t seem to find yourself back in the whack?

didja ever wonder why?

didja ever wonder why not?

didja ever just lay in the grass and stare up at the stars and just breath?

didja ever just catch a fire fly with a mason jar?

didja ever wish you could go back in time, to your childhood with the knowledge you have today?

didja ever just wonder at the marvels of life?

didja ever think someone else was in charge?

didja ever, just think?

didja ever give Thanks for your Blessings?

didja ever wonder what your Blessings were?

didja ever, just think,  yea, I got this, and you don’t?

didja ever just wish that things could be different?

didja ever just Thank your family for having you?

didja ever just wish things could be oh so different?

didja ever just stop to smell the roses?

didja ever just wonder about all your friends and family that have passed before you?

Didja ever wonder Do I really have an angel following me?

didja ever just take a moment to smell the flowers?

didja ever just forget about all the chores you had to do, and simply enjoy the moment?

didja ever just stop and think, I am a speck on the universe and what I do does not really matter?

didja ever think that a smile from you could brighten up a strangers day?

didja ever think, some are called to do something, and others are not?

didja ever think that the one’s that appear strong, really are not?

didja ever think, that sometimes, the one’s that are the quietest, really have the most to say?

didja ever think, that, sometimes, I think too much and it can really harm you?

I have some issues lately.  I think too much, some say I have too much time on my hands, but ya know what?  I really don’t.  I try so hard to fill up every moment of my day, just so I don’t have to think.

But at the same token, I do have some randomness in my day, and then my mind starts working, and I don’t know how to shut it off.

I’m okay, really I am, I think fear is my biggest enemy right now.  If you have followed me, then you know what I am talking about.  Things are not getting better, they are getting worse.  Not everyone see’s it, but I do.  I guess, because I feel Blessed to be in Momma‘s inner circle.   Although today sucked some green Twinkies…. She thought her Mom was still here, and it was like she relived every part of it, except her Mom’s been gone for some 14-18 years now.  Having to tell her that about crushed me.   BUT….

didja ever wonder how a disease lives?

didja ever wonder, how the person with it feels?

I am getting a glimpse into it, I don’t like it but I will deal….

I’m not to sure what lesson’s I am learning, but I’m here, and ready.  Sometimes, I just wish the rest of the family was with me.  It’s ok, because, I understand what I am doing, takes time away from my family, I just hope and pray they know what it means to me.

Guest Post….My Sisters….

DSCN0434Hey y’all.  Yes this pic is an old one, simply because our “big” sister, hasn’t taken a new one and she fell back on the oldies but goodies reel.

Our “other sister” Ms. Baby has gotten to post on the blog, so we felt we should be able to as well.  So here, goes.

I’m the one on the left, and my name is Goldie, although recently Momma has called me Ginger, (which should have been my name, but well what can I say?)  My Momma named me, as I am technically her kitty.    The one across from me ( my bigger sister), is named Spice, and she is the Farmer’s kitty, aka spoiled rotten.

Things around our house have changed lately, and we wanted to add our pawthinking into the mix.  This is our Momma’s chair, that we are both guarding.  We do it well don’t we?    When our big sister first came around, me and Spice were not to sure about her.  Yea, she saved us that cold night and begged the Farmer to put us into the shed.   Which he did, simply because she had a cat at HER house, named Ms. Baby,   But the “big house” was ruled by someone named Toots…   Apparently,

tootsHe lived in the house, and Goldie and I (Spice) were delegated to the “show room”.  Until one day, Toots, went over the “Rainbow Bridge”, and me and my sister came to live in the “Big House”.

When we first came to live in the “big house”, it was new and things were strange. We’ve gotten over that, and now WE own the joint.

Some odd things have been happening lately though, and we need to let y’all know.  While our Sister, keeps cooking the bacon and eating it, Wednesdays are our favorite.  You see, Dad goes to his Wed. thing, and Sis watches us and Momma, and at the end of the night we get chicken.

Our Big Sissy, is such a sucker, she cooks stuff and always gives us whatever she has cooked.  But on Wednesdays, the Farmer (aka Dad) brings home Lee’s Fried Chicken, and Sissy is such a sucker, she gives us at least one of her pieces of chicken.   Hey, we are not complaining.

Lately though, me, (Goldie) has taken a liking to hanging with my Mom, in the chair, in the bed, just wherever she is at.  My sis Spice freaked out my big sissy Jo today,  simply because, we were all over Momma today, we both loved on her, and sat with her, and slept by her side.

We love our Momma, and know she has some problems, but we are here with her and it is all “purrfect”. We like “The Big house” but we love Momma even more….

Happy Father’s Day!

This post is dedicated to my Dad, aka The Farmer.   What can I say?  I have been Blessed to have the BEST Dad on the earth.  Of coarse everyone thinks that their Dad is tops, and rightly so.

For me, My Dad is something.  My Dad has raised me from birth, by himself, at times.  He did the best he could with what he had.  That’s not to say my Beloved Grandma B. did not step up at times, nor my Aunt Sara too.

Sometimes, I put myself in his shoes, and I’d just like to say, he tried, very hard.  I guess it was a plus, I was more of a tomboy, than a “girlie girl”.  I mean seriously, when you are growing up, and have “girl” things happen and are mortified, because you think you are dying, and your Dad sucks it up and “explains” about how you are now becoming a woman.   It must have been uncomfortable for him, I’m sure.

My Dad has ALWAYS been there for me.  There were times when I was growing up, I thought we were not normal, because it was just him and I.  Most families I knew, had a Mama and a Dad, I just had a Dad.    I learned early, how to cook, because..well, while Dad CAN cook, it wasn’t always pleasant.  I learned how to clean house and also to do laundry, and we had a great relationship.  He was ALWAYS my Dad and would not hesitate to kick my butt if I needed it.  Although to be truthful, IF I turned on the water works when he went for his belt, I didn’t get my butt smacked.

My Dad was the first person I would turn to if I was in trouble, and he always came through.    When I finally did leave home, and thanks be to the heavens, because when I left, I had racked up about a $500. phone bill, and when he got the bill, I could hear him screaming my name.

But, I have to be honest here, I was the perfect child.  (smirk).  Okay, who fell for that one?

In my later years, my Dad is not only my Dad, he is my best friend.  With the passing of years, we are more friends than I ever thought possible.  While we are drawn to each other helping my Momma Annie, we both have the same thoughts. And the funny thing is, somewhere along the line, while he still takes care of me, I can also take care of him.

It’s like a circle.  Growing up, I did the laundry and the cooking and the cleaning, and now, I do the cooking and the laundry and the cleaning.  hehehe.  I also have some power.  Dad has had his John Deere privileges taken away after creaming the garage door not once but twice now.   I promised I would not bust him out, and while I have not said exactly what happened, I still kept my promise.  But the garage door is toast…..

There are just to many things I could say, but the biggest one, is I love my Dad to the moon and back.

So I will say this, to the Farmer, Thank you for my life, thank you for giving me life, thank you for being a major part of my life, and thank you for being my friend and Dad.    While I don’t always agree with you and we may get into some “scuffles” over our difference of opinions, you are and always will be my best friend, My Dad.  Happy Father’s Day Dad.

And to all the other Dad’s out there, Happy Father’s Day to you too.  To my Electrician, you are a wonderful Dad, and Happy Father’s Day to you too.

 

Guest post…..AGAIN…

DSCN4162Hey y’all, it’s me…Ms. Baby, or as Mom calls me, “Fat cat”.

I’ve had a very productive day.  My Mom stayed home with me today, well she did go out for a bit, but it was okay, I was ready for my nap by then.

My Mom was still asleep after my Dad left this morning.  He told me to let her sleep, so I did, for a bit.  How long does a Momma need to sleep for?  I went in and woke her up, because I wanted some food, and cuddles.

Mom goofed around and did something called “cleaning”, but her and I took time out today to have some cuddles.  She washed the sheets on the bed, and we had our favorite game, I “helped” her make the bed with clean sheets.  I like how they smell.

Around noon or something like that, I wanted to go outside, so Mom let me out, and I noticed something.  Every bird in the neighborhood was visiting our middle hanging plant on our porch.  I laid underneath it, not quite sure what was going on, and Mom kept her eye on me.  Something was happening.

Mom said the birds were singing, because of an “event”.  Whatever that means.  This evening, I went outside again, and got busted in the garden by my Dad, he made me come inside, and I heard Mom and Dad talking.

Apparently the robin bird that has made her nest ON MY PLANT on the porch, had her babies tonite.  Mom said she looked from the top of the deck and there are 2 little baby birds in the nest.

Hmmm….I may have to lay underneath the nest for a bit, baby birds have to fly sometime, and I’ll be waiting.  Okay, who am I kidding, My Mom and Dad will have my skin, if I do something to a baby bird, but it might be fun to be a “God mother” or something…….

 

Bird’s Eye view…(Guest post)

Hey y’all, it’s me again…Ms. baby AKA, fat cat….

baby aug 09 002My Mom wanted to tell this story, but it is all mine to tell.  If you read Mom’s blog, you will know, I tried to catch a baby bird a few weeks ago, and got “dive bombed” by every bird in the neighborhood.

I don’t understand what the problem is.  I. AM. A. CAT.    Cats catch mice (haven’t you ever watched the Tom & Jerry Cartoon?)  But, we also like birds.    I have a hunters instinct about these things.  As my Mom say’s,  I am a cat.

I personally think these birds around my “hood” like to torture me, simply because they know my Mom and Dad won’t let me catch them.   Ha, I got news for my parents……

The past few years, my 2 legged siblings, buy Mom a hanging basket, that she loves, Dad waters it to keep it alive, and I do like the smell of the pretty flowers.    Well, I guess those birds like it too, because for the past couple of years, they have made a nest in it, and had babies.

This year,  A Momma Robin has decided to set up her nest in the middle basket, and I’ve been keeping tabs on her, one of her relatives flew straight at Dad and almost landed on his nose, so I have to watch out for him.  Baby birds are sort of clumsy, when they first start to fly, and that’s when I watch them closely.

DSCN4500This is the Momma bird, that has set up her house in my Mom’s plants.  She takes breaks from sitting on her nest, and I ALWAYS get yelled at, when she does this.  Pfft….I don’t want the Mom.  Dad and Mom always yell at me to behave, when she leaves the nest.  Like I am going to get her or anything.  Shoot, All her relatives that are around would probably hurt me.  I’ve been dive-bombed before.

DSCN4498This is the Mom hanging out at the basket right next to her “babies”, heck, they are still eggs at this point.  There are 2 of them, so things will be chirping up a storm here soon.

DSCN4501This is the Mom in her nest, that she made, and gets mad at Dad, whenever he waters the plant, that she is nesting in.  I lay underneath the basket every time I go outside, just in case, something falls out of it, and I can “save” whatever falls.

There are some other things hanging out around my house lately, and they look like this.

DSCN4504Now me, I love when Mom makes fried chicken, I wonder if I catch these, will she fry them up for me?  They look like big chickens to me.  I tried to catch one once.  Dad and Mom laughed at me, pfft.  If I really wanted to I could catch one of these.

But, I’m Ms. Baby AKA fat cat, and I don’t feel like running THAT hard after them.

Stay tuned, and I’ll let you know when the babies hatch, and start to fly, ahem, umm, start to leave the nest.

prrrrrrrrrr, I’m going to bed now with Mom and Dad now, someone has to keep their feet warm at night.

My Day…(Guest Post)

Hey y’all  this is me….

baby3 003

I’m mom’s 4 legged baby, and that’s funny because my name is Ms. baby.  Mom is letting me post because I have had a day.

In my world, I eat, sleep, poop, and run after stuff.  I get mom up every morning by kicking her legs while she sleeps, (it’s only fair, she kicks me when she sleeps, because I sleep at the end of the bed.)

Apparently Mom and Dad made an appointment for me a few weeks ago and today was the day.  They did not however, tell me about it.   Before I start in about that, I really need to let my displeasure known about how Dad took MY table away from me for some garage sale they are having at my 2 legged sister’s house.  What the heck?  That table is my life line to “my t.v.” which I guess is AKA the downstairs window.  Now mind you, Dad did rig up some contraption and my box is still in front of the window, but it wobbles, and well after my visit today, I may be a little overweight, and, although I have 9 lives, I’m not using them trying to jump onto that thing.

That brings me back to today, I started my morning off normal, although mom did not leave when she was supposed to, but I didn’t care.  She fed me and gave me treats this morning, and I was lounging in my usual spot.  MY room.  Hey if they can have a room , so can I.  I have a bed with my special blanket on it and pillows too.

I thought it was a little odd, when Mom came in and started loving on me, and then she scooped me up into her arms.  I’m used to her scooping me up, but she was whispering things to me and I got nervous.  When we got to the bottom of the stairs, I noticed, she had her hand over my eyes, What the heck?

I don’t like my Mom right now.  She set my happy fat butt into a Cat carrier and then SHE LOCKED THE DOOR.  She picked me up and put me into that thing she loves ALMOST as much as me, and shut the door.  By now, I am pissed and howling, like there is no tomorrow.  Mom told me to hush and it wasn’t going to be bad, but HEY, where the heck is she taking me?  The last time I was in this thing, I got shots and all kinds of other horrors.  The Doctor looked up my butt, and EXCUSE me, but well…some things are private.

Mom played the radio, and jeez, do I really have to listen to her stuff?  Put on some Stray Cats for goodness sake.  I did notice what direction I was going in, so if she has planned to drop me off, I can find my way home.

That’s it, Mom’s a dead Mom when I get home.  She brought me to that place called the Vets.  I knew it as soon as she carried me in.  The smell, I shut my mouth.  They took me into a room and shut both doors and then Mom told me to come out.  She’s my Mom, so I did, and when she wrapped her arms around me, I hid in her armpit.  If I could have climbed into her shirt, I would have.  I don’t like the Vet.

Pfft…I’m not sure why I worried, this was a walk in the park.  I got weighed (yea, I may be a fat cat, but I’m a happy one).  The Vet told Mom that I have big bones and while my legs may be short, I am still something to be reckoned with.  I have not gained any weight, nor lost any weight, and I am a healthy fat cat.  I got my shots, AND nobody looked at my butt.  (Whew).

Momma took me home, and I had to show my displeasure over the whole experience, so I growled and snarled at her.

I’m over it, I had to show her how much I loved her tonite, and I did, AFTER she put my treats out.

DSCN2853

It’s a good thing that I only do this once a year.  But something tells me next year is gonna be a bunch worse, because I am now “classified” as a senior kitty, whatever that means.  But after listening to Mom and Dad talk, I may get something from a place called AARP about a senior discount card,   I hope it works for kitty treats, because I can never get enough of those…..

Guest post, from Ms. Baby

DSCN4162

 

Hey y’all, this is me, Ms. Baby.    My Mom has been having a hard time posting lately, there are to many things happening with her, and she does not want to come across all sad, and confused and stuff, so she asked me to post on her blog, so her readers would know she was still alive.

First off, this is me in the picture.  I was trying to do my “sexy” pose, so I could get more treats.  For some reason my Mom and Dad looked at me and laughed.  How rude.  Since Mom is giving me my own time on her blog there are some things I would like to address, and hope she reads this so I can get my point across.

First, if my paw touches it, it’s mine.  That includes everything and if I happen to put my paw on your plate, it’s mine.  Seriously.

Secondly, I think my Mom is cheating on me with some other kitties.  The reason I say this, she is gone all day long, and then when she finally does get home, she has the smell of other kitties.  What the heck, She is supposed to be a one kitty woman!

And another thing, I am supposed to be able to go outside in the morning and then in the evening.   I usually don’t go far, just in the backyard for a couple of minutes, I like to eat the grass.   I don’t like to go that far after that time the birds in neighborhood dive bombed my butt.  For some unknown reason, they only let me out for about a minute in the morning and then a minute in the afternoon.  Dad said something about not trying to heat the outside with our heat, whatever that means, pfft, I have a fur coat for crying out loud, it doesn’t affect me.

That’s another thing, Mom is falling off on her job of brushing me.  I have a mat in my fur, what the heck is that about?  I try really hard to get to all of my parts, but I may (cough, cough..uhmm…furball)  have missed a spot.

I heard something too, the other day, and then that thing they use to take me out of the house showed up in the garage, which by the way is my domain.  I have a window that is all mine and I sit in and guard the house for Mom and Dad.  But this thing showed up and I heard whispers of the “Vet”.    Now, I am here to tell you, That’s not gonna happen.  I will hide under the bed and they will have no chance of getting me out.  I don’t like the Vet.  period.

baby aug 09 002

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I really don’t understand my Mom and Dad, they truly think THEY run this house.  hehehe…They don’t know much.  I am an alarm clock, when they sleep to late.  I go in and kick them awake.  I chase them up and down the stairs to make sure they stay healthy and all’s I ask for is a little treat now and then….

jo&baby 006

 

It’s a hard job, but I do the best I can.  It’s hard taking care of these humans.  Especially, since they are my Mom and Dad.  But I know when they are upset, and I do my best to keep things going.

 

 

So, for all of you wondering, Mom is okay, she just needs a little break, and Dad is taking care of her, with my assistance.  Don’t worry, she will be back in a couple of days and bore you to tears…..no problem…  Until then, this is Ms. Baby signing off…..Thanks Mom for letting me post!

baby3 003

 

From My heart….

I’ve had a hard time lately, trying to figure out what I was going to post about.  It’s like I lost my “blogging mojo” so to speak.  With so much going on in my life right now, I’ve kind of stepped back.  While I have pretty much laid it all out there for all of you to take this journey with me, I’ve found lately, I’ve been smacked in the face with some things that are to personnal  to put out into my blogging world.

I guess, it’s because this blog has been written from my heart, and I truly don’t know what I am going to blog about, until I sit down at my computer.    This blog has helped me to express, my feelings over some situations that are hard for me to go through.    It’s become my outlet, so to speak.

I did not realize how much it meant to me, until last night.  Yesterday, I was hit with a situation that tore me up.  I wanted to blog about it, but, my internet went down last night at about 6 pm.  We even called the Fisher Dude to come over and try to help us get it back up and running.

After being on the phone for umpteen hours, we were advised that the problem was at their end and not ours.  Psst… Thanks to the NURSE for letting us kidnap her husband for a bit.

Yes, I said NURSE,  The Nursing student is still a “student” so to speak, But at this time she has achieved her LPN, status, and is working towards her RN status.    Her Father and I are very proud of her.

But yet again, I am sidetracked.   Last night, when I could not blog, I wrote a letter in my notes, on my computer.    I wasn’t quite sure what to do with it.  I felt I had to write it, and I am a little hesitant with sharing it with y’all.   I will do it, simply because, No One should feel this way.  I am opening myself up, and I hope someone hears the message

“I am a tortured soul. I received a phone call this morning that has torn me in two. Sometimes, a Mother does not know what her child needs, and we get all torn up inside and only hope and pray we know what to do.  Me? Nope, I have no idea at this point.
I got a phone call this morning from my youngest son. I was a little startled. “Mom, I saw Dad this morning”. Uhmm “what?”
Let me just advise y’all that “Dad” committed suicide about 3 years ago.
“What the heck are you talking about?” I asked, fear surrounding me. Yes, my youngest son tried to follow in his Father’s footsteps. I get chills just talking about it, and I am so torn I’m not sure what to do.
I gave him my faith, and told him over and over , “No, No, No”. I also told him, when he said it was unsuccessful, that God has oh so many plans for him.
I don’t know how to respond to this. I am totally floored, and am in unfamiliar territory. I don’t know what to say or
do to make it right. I’ve been told by other’s it’s not up to me to make it right.
I’m praying so hard right now, I can’t even begin to tell you. The Electrician has asked me all day if I am okay. I don’t think I am. I am not trying to put myself on the pity pot, I am a very strong person. I am lifting the whole situation up to God, and am praying fiercely that he will take care of my son. I’ve also prayed to my son’s Father. Don’t let him follow in your footsteps.
I have faith, and I am floundering. I realize that I like to control situations, and I have accepted the fact there are some situations I cannot control.
I’m not trying to control this one, because simply I have accepted I have no control, But, at the same token. God take care of my Baby, and let him know there are always other answers, than ending his life. While there is pain, let him know that He is loved, by YOU and also by me. Amen.
I learned a long time ago, that it is going to get worse before it gets better, but at the same token. I believe.
I have typed this tonite into my notebook, simply because I am having internet problems, if I choose to print this when I get my internet back, well…okay, if I choose not to, well okay.
But I have learned some things through my blogging, and that is I have to write about the emotion before it eats me up and spits me out.
This one is a slow killing me softly so to speak. Because truly I do not know how to act, or react, or just be. This one has hurt me, that my Son feels he cannot go on.
I’m angry, hurt, frustrated, and so very sad. That the only legacy or message my ex-husband could leave my kids, was if it gets tough, and hard to live through life, then end it.
What the heck kind of message is that? Jimney Christmas, life is hard, sometimes it truly sucks, but you keep on plugging and go through it.
If you have pain, in your life, fix it, or understand it, Don’t Give up.
To my Son, I say this, You are so much more than you give yourself credit for. You’ve had a hard burden you have carried, LET IT GO, YOU are not your Father, YOU have a future, if you just open your eyes, and your heart, and forget all of the other BULLSHIT. I Love you with all of my heart, sometimes I cannot always come through for you, but please, do not kill me by ending your life.

 

An Open Letter…..

I read a blog post tonite that has truly hit me in the gut and made me accept a few things.  So, in true Camsgranny fashion, I am also writing a letter.

Dear Camsgranny,

While I  know the past few days you have felt like you are on a roller coaster, maybe you need to accept that you are.  This Holiday season is a first for you.

You have so many scary memories of the last Holiday season, and you need to accept the fact you are scared.  It doesn’t help you that your Momma has said, she gets emotional over the Christmas holiday, and that she has told you she is planning to leave you this Christmas season.

While your memories flood back to you from  last year, when you actually “lost” your Momma and the fact that the Doctor’s and Nurses brought her back to you.  You need to quit being a scaredy cat, and recognize every day is a gift.

You need to quit walking on eggshells and live your life, and quit worrying.  While I understand that it gets harder and harder everyday to go take care of her, when you see that she is slowly going away, cherish what time you have with her.

Giggle those giggles, belly laugh when you both need to.  Wipe her tears when she needs it, wipe her drool away when she needs it.  Comfort her when she is confused, and let her be herself.

She loves you, oh so much, and that is why she tells you daily, she is Blessed by you, and lucky to have you.  While I understand, you tell her, You are lucky to have her.

While I understand your frustration, and that being a Caregiver is hard.  It is something you feel the need to do.  It won’t be forever, and there will come a day, when you will feel Blessed to have all these moments and also to have spent the time you did.

So to myself, I say this, Girl, you got this and quit looking behind and start looking forward, and just take one day at a time.  Yesterday is the past, tomorrow is the future, and today?  well, it’s a present.

 

It’s beginning to look…..

Yesterday was a fantastic day.  I celebrated my 51st birthday and my 14th wedding anniversary. After an extremely late night (for me), I slept in this morning.  Unfortunately, it was not going to be a lazy Sunday for me.  I still had to go grocery shopping, and finish all the stuff I blew off yesterday.

I got busy early and finished the grocery shopping and came home, and the Electrician had pulled out all of the decorating stuff for us to finish our Christmas decorations.

We had just barely gotten started when I bundled everything back up, because the Nursing Student, Fisher dude, and Cam-man and Brayden boy stopped by for a quick visit.    They all entered the house with each Grandson carrying a present for me for my birthday, and both of them telling me Happy Birthday G’ma! at the top of their lungs.  I just busted up into a fit of giggles, because both of the boys said Happy Birthday so clearly.  I was very happy with the presents too.  I got 2 pounds of coffee, 1 pound of “naughty” and 1 pound of “nice”.    It sure made me giggle at the titles of the coffee, but they sure do sound good.

After the kids had visited for a bit, they flew off down the road, and the Electrician and I got busy with the decorating.   Meanwhile, I had shoved a boston butt pork roast in the oven, and also a vegetable medley of mushrooms, broccoli, cauliflower, and potato’s into the oven a little bit later, and also threw a salad together.

We finished the decorating, and then chowed down on a wonderful dinner.  Now?  we are both stuffed again, and relaxing.  But my living room looks amazing.  We also talked about decorating downstairs, where we usually hang out.

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We don’t even have all of the stockings hung up, I have about 4 more to add, but I’ve kind of run out of room.    My house looks terrific, and I have watched some Christmas shows on t.v. tonite, and I am feeling the Spirit.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas around here.