“When I look back on on my life, I can see the pain I’ve endured, the mistakes I’ve made and the hard times I’ve suffered. When I look in the mirror, I see how strong I’ve become, the lessons I’ve learned and I’m proud of who I am”.
When I saw this last night on Facebook, I have to admit, I posted it. You see, it kind of means a bunch to me. I am a work in progress.
I have not always been the Woman I am today. I have endured some really hard times, but who hasn’t? I’ve made a BUNCH of mistakes, but who hasn’t? I’ve suffered some really cruel things, but who hasn’t?.
I have prayed so hard, I thought no one heard me. Guess what? Sometimes what you pray for, is not necessarily what you need.
But I will have to say, I am still learning things today. I am a work in progress.
I have been told by quite a few people, that I am strong. I don’t always feel that way. I have days where things happen, and I would like to crawl into a little ball and forget about everything. But that is not who I am.
I have had a bunch of different experiences in my life, they have all contributed to who I am today. I have not always made the best of choices, and I have made a BUNCH of mistakes. But one thing I have learned? I have learned something from each of those mistakes, and have learned lessons in each experience.
It has taken me 51 years to be comfortable with who I am. To me? That’s progress, and I still have ways to go.
I am proud of who I am today. I have learned that the most important thing to me, is to give what I am capable of giving. I am a Caregiver to my Momma, because I choose to be. Because while she may not mean anything to someone else, she means the world to me.
I have learned you don’t have to be blood to be family. and sometimes just because your blood doesn’t necessarily make you family. I’ve learned that the love between a Farmer, and his Daughter, while in the early years was misunderstood, is truly strong, and has learned to be verbal, along with lots of hugs.
I’ve learned that sometimes, what you give is what you receive. It’s better to be positive, and it is very easy to be taken in by the negative, but that the negative will draw you down to somewhere you really do not want to go.
Strength is learned, by every event in your life. It’s your choice, and you always have one. But I have learned over time, that I choose, to be positive, and I choose to see the goodness, and let the negative go. If I can help, I will, and if I cannot, I will find a way to try.
I’ve had messages from my blog, of people who are in a situation such as mine, and they are not as vocal as I am about it. But they have said Thanks to me for being vocal and sharing my story. Maybe, it is something I was meant to do. I will be honest with you though, I do not post about everything with Momma. Simply because some things, I am still learning to deal with, and some things to me are just to personal to put out there. Also, the Farmer is my number one blog fan, and I will not post anything that could possibly hurt him.
I am who I am, simply by living my life, and learning from my mistakes, and becoming stronger through all my endeavors. I try to learn from every experience. I’ve got a bunch of living and learning to do, so as I said, I am a work in progress with some more lessons to learn.