Tag Archives: mother

Housekeeping and memories…..

I’ve had a rough couple of days lately.  Not just because of Momma, but some other issues as well.  I decided, I needed to clean out my purse and wallet, because it has become a little heavy lately.    I take my purse with me every where, I even changed my purse lately from my “winter one” to my “summer one”.  I have to laugh, though.  Simply because I went through and demolished Momma’s closet, and drawers.  That was a 2 day affair.

In the past few years, I’m not sure what my Momma was thinking, because I have slowly made my way through the house, and cleaned a bunch of stuff.  It took me 3 hours to go through my Grandma Ruth’s writing desk that my Mom had taken over as her own.  It is a very fine antique, that has a pull down desk with slots like the old-time desks, then it has 3 drawers in it.  I cleaned it out and went through everything.  I smiled, I giggled and I cried over things I found, and things I truly cherish.    After filling up a trash bag, seriously, who really keeps old batteries, and cards from forever ago.  I found pictures, that brought smiles to my face.  I found letters, I had written from years ago.  I found letters Momma had written but never sent.  I found My Grandma Ruth’s picture book from the 1920’s through 1950’s, I don’t know who some of the people were, but I could find my Grandma and my Grandpa and also my Dad in the photo’s.  Then I found my Grandma Ruth’s funeral book.  It tore me up.  My Grandma Ruth was a very main figure in my growing up years, she was my Mom so to speak.  It broke my heart I could not attend the funeral.  But when I found the book, with pictures enclosed.  i felt a warm feeling that I can’t explain.

With the desk cleaned out, I moved onto Momma’s room, and went through her dresser.  Now I don’t know about you, but I usually keep clothes in my dresser at home.  Not my Momma.  It is a 4 drawer dresser with a marble top that slides.  (It’s heavier than you can imagine) I pulled out the drawers two at a time and dragged them into the living room.   I went through everything, and became amazed at some of my findings.  I guess Momma, did not want to keep clothes in her dresser, because out of 4 drawers I only found 5 t-shirts, but a bunch of everything else.  I found more pictures, that I smiled, laughed and cried about.  To me, these 4 drawers were a memory stash.

If you ever wonder if your parent truly loves you, go through their stuff.  I found things I had sent to Momma years ago, and she had saved.  I also found pictures, and one drawer was dedicated to simply books on tape.  I had the living room torn up, and finally weeded out the stuff that could go, but saved a bunch of treasures.

I then moved onto the top of Momma’s closet.  With things going the way they are, we needed more room to store momma’s supplies to keep her going.   I pulled out everything from the top of the closet, and again the front room was torn up.  I do have to giggle though to the Fed Ex driver who is a regular visitor to our house.  He arrived, and I had Momma’s favorite hat on my head, and things thrown all over the front room when he made his delivery.  He smiled at me, and told me “nice hat”, I had forgotten i had it on, and I smiled and said simply “cleaning out clutter.”

I’ve lived a lifetime of memories the past few days.  I’ve remembered momma at her best, when things were “normal” whatever that means.  I can see the things she treasured, I’ve kept the best of things, and even brought them to my house, when the Electrician looks at me and says, “What’s this?”.  I simply look at him and say, “This is my Momma’s and I’m keeping it.”

The Farmer and I have gone through a multitude of things lately.  We have shredded stuff, and giggled, and hugged over the past.    Momma is Momma, but she was the glue so to speak.  I found a bunch of pictures, that I have taped to her closet, simply so she can look at something when we need her to stand up, so I can finish cleaning her. I will not explain that statement, you can draw your own picture.

I have learned a bunch of things over the past few days.  I’ve had some highs and some definite lows.  That brings me back to what I originally waned to post about.  I cleaned out my wallet today, and I found something I have carried in my wallet for about 22 years now.  I would like to share it with y’all.

It is a small square with a cross, that has been stitched into a pocket, and in that pocket is this:

prayerSo, my scanning skills are lacking, but it something I have tried to do over the last few years….  God is watching over me, and he knows just how much I can handle, and what lesson’s I need to be learning…..  I’ve learnt a bunch the past few days, and I’m still learning.

Some people get uncomfortable about this, but I’m ok with it.  Simply for the fact.  I Am Me.  period, end of sentence.  Whatever is thrown my way, I will deal.

Guest post…..AGAIN…

DSCN4162Hey y’all, it’s me…Ms. Baby, or as Mom calls me, “Fat cat”.

I’ve had a very productive day.  My Mom stayed home with me today, well she did go out for a bit, but it was okay, I was ready for my nap by then.

My Mom was still asleep after my Dad left this morning.  He told me to let her sleep, so I did, for a bit.  How long does a Momma need to sleep for?  I went in and woke her up, because I wanted some food, and cuddles.

Mom goofed around and did something called “cleaning”, but her and I took time out today to have some cuddles.  She washed the sheets on the bed, and we had our favorite game, I “helped” her make the bed with clean sheets.  I like how they smell.

Around noon or something like that, I wanted to go outside, so Mom let me out, and I noticed something.  Every bird in the neighborhood was visiting our middle hanging plant on our porch.  I laid underneath it, not quite sure what was going on, and Mom kept her eye on me.  Something was happening.

Mom said the birds were singing, because of an “event”.  Whatever that means.  This evening, I went outside again, and got busted in the garden by my Dad, he made me come inside, and I heard Mom and Dad talking.

Apparently the robin bird that has made her nest ON MY PLANT on the porch, had her babies tonite.  Mom said she looked from the top of the deck and there are 2 little baby birds in the nest.

Hmmm….I may have to lay underneath the nest for a bit, baby birds have to fly sometime, and I’ll be waiting.  Okay, who am I kidding, My Mom and Dad will have my skin, if I do something to a baby bird, but it might be fun to be a “God mother” or something…….

 

Bird’s Eye view…(Guest post)

Hey y’all, it’s me again…Ms. baby AKA, fat cat….

baby aug 09 002My Mom wanted to tell this story, but it is all mine to tell.  If you read Mom’s blog, you will know, I tried to catch a baby bird a few weeks ago, and got “dive bombed” by every bird in the neighborhood.

I don’t understand what the problem is.  I. AM. A. CAT.    Cats catch mice (haven’t you ever watched the Tom & Jerry Cartoon?)  But, we also like birds.    I have a hunters instinct about these things.  As my Mom say’s,  I am a cat.

I personally think these birds around my “hood” like to torture me, simply because they know my Mom and Dad won’t let me catch them.   Ha, I got news for my parents……

The past few years, my 2 legged siblings, buy Mom a hanging basket, that she loves, Dad waters it to keep it alive, and I do like the smell of the pretty flowers.    Well, I guess those birds like it too, because for the past couple of years, they have made a nest in it, and had babies.

This year,  A Momma Robin has decided to set up her nest in the middle basket, and I’ve been keeping tabs on her, one of her relatives flew straight at Dad and almost landed on his nose, so I have to watch out for him.  Baby birds are sort of clumsy, when they first start to fly, and that’s when I watch them closely.

DSCN4500This is the Momma bird, that has set up her house in my Mom’s plants.  She takes breaks from sitting on her nest, and I ALWAYS get yelled at, when she does this.  Pfft….I don’t want the Mom.  Dad and Mom always yell at me to behave, when she leaves the nest.  Like I am going to get her or anything.  Shoot, All her relatives that are around would probably hurt me.  I’ve been dive-bombed before.

DSCN4498This is the Mom hanging out at the basket right next to her “babies”, heck, they are still eggs at this point.  There are 2 of them, so things will be chirping up a storm here soon.

DSCN4501This is the Mom in her nest, that she made, and gets mad at Dad, whenever he waters the plant, that she is nesting in.  I lay underneath the basket every time I go outside, just in case, something falls out of it, and I can “save” whatever falls.

There are some other things hanging out around my house lately, and they look like this.

DSCN4504Now me, I love when Mom makes fried chicken, I wonder if I catch these, will she fry them up for me?  They look like big chickens to me.  I tried to catch one once.  Dad and Mom laughed at me, pfft.  If I really wanted to I could catch one of these.

But, I’m Ms. Baby AKA fat cat, and I don’t feel like running THAT hard after them.

Stay tuned, and I’ll let you know when the babies hatch, and start to fly, ahem, umm, start to leave the nest.

prrrrrrrrrr, I’m going to bed now with Mom and Dad now, someone has to keep their feet warm at night.

My Day…(Guest Post)

Hey y’all  this is me….

baby3 003

I’m mom’s 4 legged baby, and that’s funny because my name is Ms. baby.  Mom is letting me post because I have had a day.

In my world, I eat, sleep, poop, and run after stuff.  I get mom up every morning by kicking her legs while she sleeps, (it’s only fair, she kicks me when she sleeps, because I sleep at the end of the bed.)

Apparently Mom and Dad made an appointment for me a few weeks ago and today was the day.  They did not however, tell me about it.   Before I start in about that, I really need to let my displeasure known about how Dad took MY table away from me for some garage sale they are having at my 2 legged sister’s house.  What the heck?  That table is my life line to “my t.v.” which I guess is AKA the downstairs window.  Now mind you, Dad did rig up some contraption and my box is still in front of the window, but it wobbles, and well after my visit today, I may be a little overweight, and, although I have 9 lives, I’m not using them trying to jump onto that thing.

That brings me back to today, I started my morning off normal, although mom did not leave when she was supposed to, but I didn’t care.  She fed me and gave me treats this morning, and I was lounging in my usual spot.  MY room.  Hey if they can have a room , so can I.  I have a bed with my special blanket on it and pillows too.

I thought it was a little odd, when Mom came in and started loving on me, and then she scooped me up into her arms.  I’m used to her scooping me up, but she was whispering things to me and I got nervous.  When we got to the bottom of the stairs, I noticed, she had her hand over my eyes, What the heck?

I don’t like my Mom right now.  She set my happy fat butt into a Cat carrier and then SHE LOCKED THE DOOR.  She picked me up and put me into that thing she loves ALMOST as much as me, and shut the door.  By now, I am pissed and howling, like there is no tomorrow.  Mom told me to hush and it wasn’t going to be bad, but HEY, where the heck is she taking me?  The last time I was in this thing, I got shots and all kinds of other horrors.  The Doctor looked up my butt, and EXCUSE me, but well…some things are private.

Mom played the radio, and jeez, do I really have to listen to her stuff?  Put on some Stray Cats for goodness sake.  I did notice what direction I was going in, so if she has planned to drop me off, I can find my way home.

That’s it, Mom’s a dead Mom when I get home.  She brought me to that place called the Vets.  I knew it as soon as she carried me in.  The smell, I shut my mouth.  They took me into a room and shut both doors and then Mom told me to come out.  She’s my Mom, so I did, and when she wrapped her arms around me, I hid in her armpit.  If I could have climbed into her shirt, I would have.  I don’t like the Vet.

Pfft…I’m not sure why I worried, this was a walk in the park.  I got weighed (yea, I may be a fat cat, but I’m a happy one).  The Vet told Mom that I have big bones and while my legs may be short, I am still something to be reckoned with.  I have not gained any weight, nor lost any weight, and I am a healthy fat cat.  I got my shots, AND nobody looked at my butt.  (Whew).

Momma took me home, and I had to show my displeasure over the whole experience, so I growled and snarled at her.

I’m over it, I had to show her how much I loved her tonite, and I did, AFTER she put my treats out.

DSCN2853

It’s a good thing that I only do this once a year.  But something tells me next year is gonna be a bunch worse, because I am now “classified” as a senior kitty, whatever that means.  But after listening to Mom and Dad talk, I may get something from a place called AARP about a senior discount card,   I hope it works for kitty treats, because I can never get enough of those…..

Guest post, from Ms. Baby

DSCN4162

 

Hey y’all, this is me, Ms. Baby.    My Mom has been having a hard time posting lately, there are to many things happening with her, and she does not want to come across all sad, and confused and stuff, so she asked me to post on her blog, so her readers would know she was still alive.

First off, this is me in the picture.  I was trying to do my “sexy” pose, so I could get more treats.  For some reason my Mom and Dad looked at me and laughed.  How rude.  Since Mom is giving me my own time on her blog there are some things I would like to address, and hope she reads this so I can get my point across.

First, if my paw touches it, it’s mine.  That includes everything and if I happen to put my paw on your plate, it’s mine.  Seriously.

Secondly, I think my Mom is cheating on me with some other kitties.  The reason I say this, she is gone all day long, and then when she finally does get home, she has the smell of other kitties.  What the heck, She is supposed to be a one kitty woman!

And another thing, I am supposed to be able to go outside in the morning and then in the evening.   I usually don’t go far, just in the backyard for a couple of minutes, I like to eat the grass.   I don’t like to go that far after that time the birds in neighborhood dive bombed my butt.  For some unknown reason, they only let me out for about a minute in the morning and then a minute in the afternoon.  Dad said something about not trying to heat the outside with our heat, whatever that means, pfft, I have a fur coat for crying out loud, it doesn’t affect me.

That’s another thing, Mom is falling off on her job of brushing me.  I have a mat in my fur, what the heck is that about?  I try really hard to get to all of my parts, but I may (cough, cough..uhmm…furball)  have missed a spot.

I heard something too, the other day, and then that thing they use to take me out of the house showed up in the garage, which by the way is my domain.  I have a window that is all mine and I sit in and guard the house for Mom and Dad.  But this thing showed up and I heard whispers of the “Vet”.    Now, I am here to tell you, That’s not gonna happen.  I will hide under the bed and they will have no chance of getting me out.  I don’t like the Vet.  period.

baby aug 09 002

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I really don’t understand my Mom and Dad, they truly think THEY run this house.  hehehe…They don’t know much.  I am an alarm clock, when they sleep to late.  I go in and kick them awake.  I chase them up and down the stairs to make sure they stay healthy and all’s I ask for is a little treat now and then….

jo&baby 006

 

It’s a hard job, but I do the best I can.  It’s hard taking care of these humans.  Especially, since they are my Mom and Dad.  But I know when they are upset, and I do my best to keep things going.

 

 

So, for all of you wondering, Mom is okay, she just needs a little break, and Dad is taking care of her, with my assistance.  Don’t worry, she will be back in a couple of days and bore you to tears…..no problem…  Until then, this is Ms. Baby signing off…..Thanks Mom for letting me post!

baby3 003

 

From My heart….

I’ve had a hard time lately, trying to figure out what I was going to post about.  It’s like I lost my “blogging mojo” so to speak.  With so much going on in my life right now, I’ve kind of stepped back.  While I have pretty much laid it all out there for all of you to take this journey with me, I’ve found lately, I’ve been smacked in the face with some things that are to personnal  to put out into my blogging world.

I guess, it’s because this blog has been written from my heart, and I truly don’t know what I am going to blog about, until I sit down at my computer.    This blog has helped me to express, my feelings over some situations that are hard for me to go through.    It’s become my outlet, so to speak.

I did not realize how much it meant to me, until last night.  Yesterday, I was hit with a situation that tore me up.  I wanted to blog about it, but, my internet went down last night at about 6 pm.  We even called the Fisher Dude to come over and try to help us get it back up and running.

After being on the phone for umpteen hours, we were advised that the problem was at their end and not ours.  Psst… Thanks to the NURSE for letting us kidnap her husband for a bit.

Yes, I said NURSE,  The Nursing student is still a “student” so to speak, But at this time she has achieved her LPN, status, and is working towards her RN status.    Her Father and I are very proud of her.

But yet again, I am sidetracked.   Last night, when I could not blog, I wrote a letter in my notes, on my computer.    I wasn’t quite sure what to do with it.  I felt I had to write it, and I am a little hesitant with sharing it with y’all.   I will do it, simply because, No One should feel this way.  I am opening myself up, and I hope someone hears the message

“I am a tortured soul. I received a phone call this morning that has torn me in two. Sometimes, a Mother does not know what her child needs, and we get all torn up inside and only hope and pray we know what to do.  Me? Nope, I have no idea at this point.
I got a phone call this morning from my youngest son. I was a little startled. “Mom, I saw Dad this morning”. Uhmm “what?”
Let me just advise y’all that “Dad” committed suicide about 3 years ago.
“What the heck are you talking about?” I asked, fear surrounding me. Yes, my youngest son tried to follow in his Father’s footsteps. I get chills just talking about it, and I am so torn I’m not sure what to do.
I gave him my faith, and told him over and over , “No, No, No”. I also told him, when he said it was unsuccessful, that God has oh so many plans for him.
I don’t know how to respond to this. I am totally floored, and am in unfamiliar territory. I don’t know what to say or
do to make it right. I’ve been told by other’s it’s not up to me to make it right.
I’m praying so hard right now, I can’t even begin to tell you. The Electrician has asked me all day if I am okay. I don’t think I am. I am not trying to put myself on the pity pot, I am a very strong person. I am lifting the whole situation up to God, and am praying fiercely that he will take care of my son. I’ve also prayed to my son’s Father. Don’t let him follow in your footsteps.
I have faith, and I am floundering. I realize that I like to control situations, and I have accepted the fact there are some situations I cannot control.
I’m not trying to control this one, because simply I have accepted I have no control, But, at the same token. God take care of my Baby, and let him know there are always other answers, than ending his life. While there is pain, let him know that He is loved, by YOU and also by me. Amen.
I learned a long time ago, that it is going to get worse before it gets better, but at the same token. I believe.
I have typed this tonite into my notebook, simply because I am having internet problems, if I choose to print this when I get my internet back, well…okay, if I choose not to, well okay.
But I have learned some things through my blogging, and that is I have to write about the emotion before it eats me up and spits me out.
This one is a slow killing me softly so to speak. Because truly I do not know how to act, or react, or just be. This one has hurt me, that my Son feels he cannot go on.
I’m angry, hurt, frustrated, and so very sad. That the only legacy or message my ex-husband could leave my kids, was if it gets tough, and hard to live through life, then end it.
What the heck kind of message is that? Jimney Christmas, life is hard, sometimes it truly sucks, but you keep on plugging and go through it.
If you have pain, in your life, fix it, or understand it, Don’t Give up.
To my Son, I say this, You are so much more than you give yourself credit for. You’ve had a hard burden you have carried, LET IT GO, YOU are not your Father, YOU have a future, if you just open your eyes, and your heart, and forget all of the other BULLSHIT. I Love you with all of my heart, sometimes I cannot always come through for you, but please, do not kill me by ending your life.

 

In my month of Thankfulness….

This has been a month of Thankfulness for me.  While I am thankful for everyday, truly I am.  There are things that make this month stand out the most.  Just for me, and maybe for someone else, something I may say, might  mean something.

I am always Thankful for my family.  They truly are my back bone and give me the strength to go deal with what I do.

I am thankful for everything I have, from my house, to my clothes, to my car, to well, just everything.

I am thankful for my friends….y’all know who you are…you guys hold me close, let me say whatever I need to, just to blow off steam, to just saying you love me, and somehow my world turns to right.

I am Thankful for my Cat, ok, y’all can laugh if you want to, but this cat has given me more love, affection and attitude than any of my kids (ok that might be a tie), but she loves me, and loves to curl into my lap, or sleep at my feet and take care of me when no one else is around.  (It’s a cat thing…sorry if you don’t understand it).

I’m thankful for my husband, who truly I never thought I would ever find a soul who matches mine as much as he does, we are on the same wave..dream the same dreams and love the same things. Not to mention we love each other to the moon and then beyond……

I love my birth kids, more than words can ever say, I am thankful for both of you, you each have given me joy, and a bunch of pain, but I guess that is part of being a Mother.  Never doubt my love for you, even though it may be tough right now.

I am thankful for my “other” children, I refuse to call you “step’ because truly in my eyes, if I could have given birth to you I would have, the fact that I love each and every one of you, is to me a Blessing, because God gave you to me, I truly tried to step to the challenge., If I have let you down, sorry, but I truly love y’all like my own and hope you know it.  Each of you is a Blessing to me in one way or another.

I’m Thankful for one little dude, that probably no one can understand….That would be Cam-man…I cannot even begin to describe what this little dude means to me.    I never wanted to over-step any bonds. But from about day 2, because day 1 I was too afraid to hold him, This dude is my Buddy.  I may have been replaced because his papa is his best friend and that’s ok.  This little dude, gave me strength to survive his papa being away from me, and giving me joy in his little face.  To this day, this little dude and I share a bond that was re-inforced to me today, and I am oh so thankful of this little guy.    He still loves me, and plays hide n seek with me and all of those other games him and I share.

But to be truthful, I am thankful for the Farmer and Momma, simply because…they are my parents.  For Momma maybe by default, but it is what it is, and SHE is MY Momma.

I am Thankful for living the life I do, with all I have, and all I am thankful for.  I am truly one Blessed woman.

My life may be complicated, but truly, I’m not used to any other.  I’ve lived all these years and I’ve learned a bunch of lessons.  I am still learning.  But I do know I am Thankful, and I give all of my Blessings thankful to God, AND my angels, I truly have a bunch of them.    This month, My Angels added another.  While I am sad, I am thankful for the party going on up in heaven.

I just hope that when it’s all said and done, eventually, it’s gonna be one heck of a party when we all get together…..

Inspiration, and a Happy Birthday!!!

This is me with The Electrician‘s Mom, last Summer. What a Lady.  Today is her birthday!  Happy Birthday Mom!

These are The Electrician’s parents aka my outlaws…:)  They have given me a bunch of  Inspiration.  You see, They took care of  The Electrician’s Gramma until she passed away at age 96.  Gramma Mary lived with them and they cared for her.  Gramma Mary couldn’t see, could barely walk and didn’t hear very well and forgot to put her teeth in A LOT.

They are the one’s who have given me Inspiration, advice and tons of support in my quest to help My Mom.  They always ask after her and listen to my stories and giggle with me and sometimes cry with me. They have also given me ideas, and exercises and other stuff to try.

So For My Mother-In-Law…Happy Birthday and Thank you for Everything!

Family..to me…

Most people recognize family, as just that, family.  Be it brothers, or sisters, Moms and Dad’s and the like.   I have a different version of family.

I have realized that sometimes, even though you are blood, it does not make you a family.    The reason I know this?  I’m about to go into some personal issues, and they are solely my issues, but the end result is what I have learned in my OWN experience.

I had a birth Mother, whom I have never met.  It was her loss, not mine.  I was cared for by my first step-Mother, who did not share the same blood as I, but who loved me.  She never had any children, and I was it. ( I believe I told y’all last night she died when I was 11.) Her family, My Grandma Kile, and all of the family, accepted me.  They all loved me, and I spent a lot of summer’s at her house and then to my Grandma Ruth’s house.

My second stepMomma, the one I write about, married the Farmer, after I had left home.  She dated my dad for a couple of years, so I knew her and loved her, and accepted her.     She is my Momma, and has been my friend, in my “grown up” years.

I never had any “blood” brother’s or sisters.  But I do have a lot of brother’s and sister’s.  I was lucky enough to go to a Boarding School for my 10-12 grade years.  London Central High School.  Which, for those that don’t know, it was an American High School, which housed day student’s, 5 day dormies, and 7 day dormies.   We were all American kids, on British soil, on an American Air Station.   We all shared a common bond.  We lived in a dormitory, we were away from our parent’s, and we were all family.  The funniest thing about this, is that we are a group, we have all bonded from our situations.  We are all friends, even people who went to the school after I graduated, to people who went to the school before I ever got there.  There are some of those people, I call my brother and sister.  I also know, that should I ever need anything, anyone of them would be there.  I truly believe as well that after staying in contact after 33 years, means something.

I have met friends in my life, and I call some of them brother’s or sister’s.  Because they love me and I love them.  I’ve also met some people in my life that I do NOT call brothers or sisters, and their time in my life, was for me to learn something or another.  The lessons were hard at times, but I learned them.    I don’t take love lightly.  I also have a close circle.  Sometimes, I don’t always speak up, but I do a lot of thinking in the back ground.  But, seriously, once I let you into my circle, you will be there always.

To me, a family isn’t necessarily blood relations.  It is simply who chooses to accept me, who love me, and would do anything for me, as I would for them.

My Dad & Mom…

 

This is my Mom & Dad….Some days are good…other days are not so good.  This was a good day.

When I look at this picture I am filled with love for both of them…however, I have since cleaned out the front room and some of this stuff is gone and Mom’s chair has had an overhaul of huge proportions of cleaning were done to that chair….

I love both of them… This is definitely a  challenge in my life I can only wonder how my Dad made it this far without me… I feel sorry for that…but this is not about pity…it’s about doing something good and hopefully making Mom’s days happier and more comfortable.  (AND keeping her out of a nursing home of which I do not want to EVER send her there).  I’m not saying Nursing Homes are bad, My Grandmother lived in one until she left this earth….but she did not have Parkinson’s nor did her brain suffer as my Mother’s has….

This is a challenge as a person, and a daughter, to make things ok for someone who does not know what ok is…..Parkinson’s sucks…..I don’t like it I really hate it, I don’t understand it but I am living with it…..I’m sure there are more out there like me…I haven’t found them yet, but I will….

Enter today 8/23/12

The above was a post that I wrote back on 9/18/11.  It’s been almost a year, and the difference is like night and day.

I have been my Momma‘s caretaker now, for 15 months.  I quit my job to take care of her and help the Farmer out.    The Electrician told me when I asked him if it was ok, and he said and I quote “Duh, it’s your Momma, you do what you have to do”.  Over these past month’s, he has picked me up off the floor, and held me while I cried, and been my rock.    To him, I say Thank you more than I can ever say.

The progression of Parkinson’s patients varies from patient to patient.  I have done extensive research on Parkinson’s.  My opinion has not changed, and I still think that it sucks.

I guess, after all that we have been through, I’ve learned a lot of different things about myself, the Farmer, the Electrician AND Momma. Not to even mention my family.

In my Momma, I have seen a spirit, reduced, but never gone.  Who still loves life, although she does not understand the one she is now living.  She comes up with the craziest things, and gets scared, frustrated, mad and everything else under the sun, but never fails to tell us how much she loves and appreciates all we do.

In the Farmer, I see his love for this woman, who gave him a new lease on life, but saddened  at the turn of events, but who is willing to do  anything and everything to make her happy and comfortable.

The Electrician, who is doing a job he does not like, and willing to do it everyday, so that I may continue to take care of Momma.  To the compassion he has shown, to the worry he has.  And also, just down to him taking care of me when it’s a bad day, even though his day was worse.

To my Family, who have shown compassion, caring, and just downright bent over backwards at times, to help and also be there for me.  I love you guys.

Me?  I have learned over the past 15 months to never give up.  I have learned patience. (yea, it surprised me too), I have learned oh so many different things.  I have learned how to change an adult diaper (for those that know me and have read my blog, I found out, you don’t change an adult diaper like a baby ok?)   I have learned compassion, empathy, and a lot of other things to numerous to mention.  I’ve also learned heartache, being scared beyond belief, actually using the CPR training, I thought I would never use.  I’ve also learned to brain storm to make someone else comfortable.

At the end of the post, I said I had yet to meet people like me.  Well, I have over the last 11 months, through my blog met some very “special  and treasured” friends, who like me are going through the same thing.  I have even met some people who actually have Parkinson’s.

So, I guess my blog, which at first I thought no one would read, has really helped me.  To my readers, I thank each and every one of you.

Stay tuned, for tomorrow is another journey, and if you want to read it, I promise to post it.

Hugs….