I have done my usual Tuesday thingy today, as in, go and get Cam-the-Man and then to the Farmers house, get my Momma up and make breakfast, do the laundry, play with Momma, the Farmer and Cam. And, all of that went really well. But I can’t shake this feeling of restlessness.
I left the Farmer’s and dropped off Cam-Man to his Momma, (poor kid was asleep within being in the car for 10 minutes, we played hard). I got home and did some domestic goddess things, mopping floors, dusting, putting a pot roast on for dinner. When it suddenly hit me….
Sometimes, in your lifetime it is okay to look back, while moving forward at the same time.
17 years ago, I uprooted my life as I had known it. I left my former husband (of 13 years) and dragged 2 screaming, kicking kids across country to start a new life. I had a rocky relationship with the father of my 2 boys, and the relationship was over.
I stayed in Albuquerque so that the boys could have one last Trick-or-Treat with all of their Father’s family and then packed them up and brought them to My family.
Many, many things have happened over these past 17 years. I made alot of mistakes, but had some real success to. I learned that I could count on myself to make things happen, I found a true soul-mate, I found happiness. I know at this point it sounds like I’m being kinda vague, but I guess I am. I am filled with so many emotions at the moment, sometimes it’s hard to narrow them all down.
I truly Love what I do. It’s not really a job, it’s more of a Caregiver to those in my family that need me right now. I’m absolutely okay with that. I guess I was just looking down the road I have travelled this far in my life and looked at my accomplishments and my failures, and knowing that I’ve learned from my mistakes, knowing that I am a stronger person that I ever thought I was, and also, knowing that I am completely happy with where I have arrived.
I also know that tomorrow will take me down another road, and that road may be the one less traveled but…I’m ready, willing and able.