Quite a few people have asked me, “Why do you take care of your Mother, instead of putting her into a Nursing Home? Then, there was the other question, “Why did you take your Momma OUT of the Nursing home?” Then the other question “You must be a Saint or a hero or something to do all that, why do you do it?”
Why do I take care of the Farmer and Momma? Because they are my parents. Also, because the Electrician has allowed me to do this. The Electrician told me to quit my job and just concentrate on the Farmer and Momma.
When he first said this, he was on the road working away from home 5 days a week and coming home on the weekends. The only thing he asked of me was that I would be home on the weekends to spend with him. That was no problem.
Since then, the Electrician has been laid off, and while I suggested I would go back to work, he knows I really don’t want to. You see, I have a job. Up until a couple of days ago, my job was to babysit my Grandson, and take care of Momma.
Now, my job is to concentrate on Momma and the Farmer. Sure, they could hire a bunch of caregiver’s, but I honestly feel Momma responds better with me, than a stranger. A therapist at the Nursing home told me, that I had the “touch” with Momma.
I take care of Momma, because I WANT to, and also because I feel the NEED to. I’m not a Saint, or a hero, but I am a DAUGHTER.
Why is Momma not in a Nursing home? Because, when Momma was in the Nursing home, while it is a perfectly good facility, they could not care for Momma like the Farmer and I do.
Parkinson’s Disease is not something pretty to watch, or deal with. But the Farmer and I have an understanding of how Momma operates. We can both tell the sign’s of an onset, and know how to make her feel better or “safe”. Sometimes, all’s it takes to calm her down is a big hug, or a hand to hold. If it is a really big onset, then I have been known to climb in the bed with her and just hold her until she calms down. You can’t get that from a Nursing home.
For us, in our situation, it is more feasible for us to care for her at home. We have 3 different “Caretakers” that come in and help to. But quite honestly, the Farmer and I are the main Caregivers.
Is it taxing? Hell yes. Are their days we wonder why we do it? Hell yes. Are their times, when we wish we could run away? Hell no, uhm…ok Hell yes.
Somedays, I feel like a glorified housekeeper of the Farmer’s house, while I will admit, sometimes my house suffers. But I have the Electrician who is helping me through this every step of the way. When I have spent the day scrubbing the Farmer’s house and doing a million loads of laundry and I’ve cooked breakfast (although, I seriously do not ever cook the Electrician breakfast). I’ve had a rough time with Momma and I just don’t feel like doing anything around my house, I come home and my Electrician has cleaned the house, done the laundry AND made me dinner. So, basically, I’m not in this by myself. The Electrician is my Caretaker, and he really does a great job.
But ya know what it all boils down to for me? The Farmer has been my Dad my whole life, Momma has been my Momma for 31 years, the Farmer needs me right now, and I would never let him deal with this on his own. To have the Electrician’s blessing is icing on my cake.
So, why am I a Caretaker? Because I am a daughter.