Ok, I’ve done something tonite, I don’t usually do, at least I haven’t done it in a while.

I pulled out the Ipod, or whatever that new fangled technology thing is.  My headphones are in my ear, and The Electrician is finally sleeping peacefully.  Snoring , but it’s ok. 

Right now, I am listening to music in my ear and it is comfort.  I’ve had a day.  Sleep escapes me, even though I did take one of those pills to help you to sleep.  Uhmm…it’s not working.

Sometimes, while we try to make the outside world think our world is fine, it’s not.  The Social world, Facebook, blogs, or whatever.  We all want to give the appearance that our lives are “perfect”.

Guess what, they are not.  Sometimes we feel a pain so great that even we cannot  escape it.  Painting a pretty picture, does not change the hurt, the emotions and the fact.

I truly believe in God, and I understand he is going through this with me, but DAMN….

I guess sometimes I just don’t understand. While I know it’s NOT my place to judge or be judged, I’m feeling extremely helpless in more than one situation.   

I guess it goes back to the saying….Where is the teacher while the test is going on?  They are silent.    But they are ready to scoop you up, when you need it.

Ok, I’m, seriously ready to scooped up and have somebody make it feel all better.

Because right now, this whole situation….all of them seriously SUCKS….

OK, enough self-pity, because seriously there are a lot of other people who have it worse off than me, and I think of them to.  

It’s a dark night for me folks, and I am trying to just put down all I feel, If I post this, than I do, If I don’t who will ever know…..

But seriously now, I am listening to a bunch of music that seems to follow my life as it has gone, there’s been a lot of dark times, Lord, thank you for scooping me up at those times…. I”ve led a good life filled of a lot of GOOD times too.

I guess what I need right now is Balance, because right now, I am having a hard time finding it.   I am torn in so different directions.  Have any of you ever felt this?

I am truly not one to feel sorry for myself,  I think tonite, I am and I don’t particularly like it.

Right now on the IPOD is playing “Collective  Soul” playing “December”.   Damn, that song makes a lot of sense to me right now….  followed up by ya’ll would never guess…. Jay Sean featuring Lil Wayne… “down”.  ok…now one of my FAVORITE songs of all time.ok , maybe not of all time, but it’s one I used to sing on Karoake night….Down in Mississippi  by Sugarland…..Damn….my IPOD seriously rocks.

ok….I’m signing off right now, and my mood will change.  Simply because of  yesterday is gone, its history, today, it’s a memory, and tomorrow is a promise…It will get better….

Hugs ya’ll,

3 responses

  1. You are incredibly resilient and strong!

    1. not really, but trying oh so hard….

      1. you are too good to be true!

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