Painful, but a lot of hope…

Sometimes in our lives, we all deal with painful situations.  Sometimes, we try to divert the pain into other channels.  Me, I always try to think positive.  Sometimes, I try to mask pain.  Sometimes, I talk about anything and everything EXCEPT what pains me.

Well…this is not going to be a post about what pains me.  This is a post about some really good things that have happened over the past few days.

One really good thing and I seriously do not want to jinx it but Momma has been amazing the past few days.  Yesterday was my “double day” which basically meant that I went in the morning and got her up, but not after the Farmer had worked me like a “farm-hand” (that’s tongue in-cheek, because I was up for it). 

Momma got her meds, and the Farmer and I went out and re-planted 6 rows of corn and some cantaloupe, and a couple of rows of acorn squash in the garden.  I went in and cooked us up some breakfast, and then, we tackled the shrubs in front of the house.  Uhm, yup, the Farmer got out the John Deere tractor and a chain, and we tried to cut that puppy down.    It was really quite funny because I was the one that crawled in the dirt and fixed the chain and then he tried to un-root this huge sucker with the John Deere.  After a couple of tries, we got that huge sucker down and it’s now in the burn pit.  The funny part about this is when I finally arrived home after my escapade with the deer, the first thing I told the Electrician was I needed a shower.  He told me to just relax, UNTIL I showed him my feet, yes, I wore those things attached to my feet called flip-flops, and folk’s my feet were black.  Uhm….yup, I took a shower and the Electrician asked to see my feet when I was done, and they were clean.  hehehe

Folk’s there is a reason to our madness.  We wanted to pull that shrub out simply for the fact, YES, we are getting a wheelchair ramp.  (THAT’s another post).  (Uhm…that’s a teaser just to keep checking in..)  🙂 

Anyhow, I came back last night and it was going to be Spa night for Momma.  Momma got her pedicure ( and yes, I got a toe nail in the eye and I will be wearing SAFETY glasses next time), she got a manicure, and had her hair washed (thanks Joyce for helping).  Momma was a trooper, and did everything I asked of her and then some.  I’ve been working Momma  pretty hard with therapy and drilling into her how important it is, and now she even does some therapy on her own with no bidding while sitting in her chair.

The Farmer has even remarked about how much more cognizant she is and how she is able to do some things she wasn’t able to do before.  While I swear by therapy, getting her mind moving and interacting with anything and everything is very important.  I think it is helping.  (This is NOT a pat on the back to me, this is what I call research for someone else.). 

I’ve noticed something lately, my Momma has Stage 5 Parkinson’s and I know this, but I am finding through experimenting, with different things, she is improving.  As long as we can keep her mind moving, not letting her give into dementia, and bringing her up to date with things, letting her know that whatever she is watching on t.v. may or may not be true, she is responding and reasoning things out for herself.

Making her move her muscles when she starts to feel them tightening up, and getting her to work with us as well as US work with her.  Momma may not be getting better, but we’ve reached a plateau we can work with.  For some one who was incontinent, and is now semi-continent, uhm…THAT’s progress.  For someone who would just not try, to someone who will try, and try her hardest, THAT’s progress.  From someone who would not EVEN try because she had no trust…to someone that will TRUST us, and do it no matter how scared she is…Folks, THAT’s progress. 

Nursing home care versus at home care with Family…..  for me there is no choice.  But I will say this, it’s hard.  For the Farmer, he has nothing but my respect and love.  He would do anything for this woman, and I’m about to bust him out, simply for the fact that Momma told me last night, “Your Dad has been so loving to me lately, and told me how pretty I am, and how much he loves me, I like it”.  I told her  ”  But Momma you ARE beautiful and he and  I do love you”.

That’s when she told me ” I love you both and I thank both of you for not giving up on me and leaving me in that home, I know I didn’t want to come home at first, but I’m really glad I’m here and I love you”.

For me, while I may be sacrificing other members of my family at this moment in time.  This to me it is  nothing I have ever experienced.  Is it hard, you betcha, is it worth it, to me yes.  Is it worth maybe sacrificing some of my  time to other members of my family,   at the moment Yes, simply for the fact, that while I know that tomorrow is a promise and it is not a given, I think they understand.  I’m doing something I truly want to do.  I LOVE all of my family, and while I realize they all need me, this one needs me the most right now.

I’m very lucky in the fact that I can do this for the Farmer and Momma, while it may not be other’s daughter’s calling, it is mine.  Thanks to the Electrician for supporting me in my decision.  (Also for picking me up off the floor at times, and reminding me,  it is what I need to do).

Love to the Farmer, Momma and the Electrician…..for I am truly doing what I want.

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One response

  1. Your energy gobsmacks me!

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