Sometimes, when you are hurt the most, you fight the hardest. I believe this statement tells a lot about me. Simply for the fact, when I hurt with things with Momma, I fight with the Electrician.
It’s not his fault, and it doesn’t even matter what we fight about, I’m in a fighting mood, and he puts up with me. Sometimes I am so frustrated by the things Momma deals with, that I can’t help, or even assist with, I get mad.
When I get mad, it isn’t pretty. I know this about myself. Sometimes Parkinson’s makes me so frigging pissed, because of the way it robbed someone of their dignity, and reduces them to almost a baby like state.
The fact that Momma, pooed in her pants, while she was sleeping, and when I went to get her up that morning, she rolled over like I asked her too. And then it hit me, smell, and full on. Momma started crying, and I felt so bad, for her, not me, cuz I can clean her up in no time.
But then I put myself into her shoes, and it gets ugly. I think about how she has these tremors, and then just full on freezing, and then having no control over my bodily functions, I don’t like it, not one little bit.
I’m just on the sidelines, watching what happens and being there to catch her when she falls, that’s figuratively so to speak. Momma cries a lot lately. I don’t like it, but I kinda understand. If someone (not even counting its my daughter) had to wipe my butt and clean me up, I’d be crying too.
In a nutshell Parkinson’s SUCKS big Twinkies, green ones at that.
While we have good days, we have a lot of bad one’s and ya know what? I’m in it to the end. May God Bless us that’s not gonna happen any time soon.
Someone asked me recently, What kind of life does your Momma have? She doesn’t eat, you feed her through a tube, and give her med’s and stuff, what kind of life is that? UHM excuse me, this is Momma’s life, and while she may not eat a Steak or pizza or anything like that, My Momma is here. and enjoying her life, it might not be like yours and mine but ya know what?
Momma is happy. Momma is full of life. Momma has Parkinson’s, but it’s not a death sentence, it’s just changing your way of life to accept what she has to say, and kids, she’s got a mouthful…….