Parkinson’s and Momma

Sometimes, when you are hurt the most, you fight the hardest.  I believe this statement tells a lot about me.  Simply for the fact, when I hurt with things with Momma, I fight with the Electrician.

It’s not his fault, and it doesn’t even matter what we fight about, I’m in a fighting mood, and he puts up with me.    Sometimes I am so frustrated by the things Momma deals with, that I can’t  help, or even assist with, I get mad. 

When I get mad, it isn’t pretty.  I know this about myself.  Sometimes Parkinson’s makes me so frigging pissed, because of the way it robbed someone of their dignity, and reduces them to almost a baby like state. 

The fact that Momma, pooed in her pants, while she was sleeping, and when I went to get her up that morning, she rolled over like I asked her too.  And then it hit me, smell, and full on.  Momma started crying, and I felt so bad, for her, not me, cuz I can clean her up in no time.

But then I put myself  into her shoes, and it gets ugly.    I think about how she has these tremors, and then just full on freezing, and then having no control over my bodily functions, I don’t like it, not one little bit.

I’m just on the sidelines, watching what happens and being there to catch her when she falls, that’s figuratively so to speak.    Momma cries a lot lately.  I don’t like it, but I kinda understand.    If someone (not even counting its my daughter) had to wipe my butt and clean me up,  I’d be crying too.

In a nutshell Parkinson’s SUCKS big Twinkies, green ones at that.

While we have good days, we have a lot of bad one’s and ya know what? I’m in it to the end.  May God Bless us that’s not  gonna happen any time soon.

Someone asked me recently, What kind of life does your Momma have?  She doesn’t eat, you feed her through a tube, and give her med’s and stuff, what kind of life is that?  UHM excuse me,  this is Momma’s life, and while she may not eat a Steak or pizza or anything like that, My Momma is here. and enjoying her life, it might not be like yours and mine but ya know what?

Momma is happy.  Momma is full of life.  Momma has Parkinson’s, but it’s not a death sentence, it’s just changing your way of life to accept what she has to say, and kids, she’s got a mouthful…….


2 responses

  1. You are amazing. It was my husband’s incontinence that did me in and my energy was so sapped from changing him, the sheets, everything, every night, hour after hour, that I ended up in hospital with exhaustion – that was 2 years ago when I had to leave work to care for him full time. Then, when he began to become incontinent in the poo way, it was a terrible shock and if we had visitors I would have to send them outside due to the stench. He was embarrassed, yes, but I think men are more okay than women about this indignity. These days he doesn’t seem to care. Anyway, this is a long way of saying I think you are incredible and same with your Momma!

    1. Jules, it kills me, but I will do it, simply for the fact, she would do it for me….Parkinson’s is not pretty by any way shape or form, but I am finding more of us deal with this than I EVER thought. Thank you, and always remember, I’m here, maybe a little ahead of ya, but I;’m, here, not happy, but dealing, just as you are…..

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