Truth….

 

Ok, I will be honest with all of you, the Electrician said the post I was going to post was blah…  Whatever that means.   But truthfully, right now I’m not sure what is going on with me.

I am trying to find my balance.   When I first started this blog, I was going to blog about Momma (which I have) and about Cam-Man (which I have.)

Today, Momma is not doing that great (the Farmer and I both see it), and poor little Cam-Man has Poison Ivy on his poor body as well as his little leg in a cast. Plus the fact I haven’t seen Cam-Man since they found out he has Poison Ivy.  I really don’t want to spread that to Momma at this point.

Don’t get me wrong folks, this is not a self-pity post.  To be truthful, I am very frustrated.

I know that Parkinson’s sucks.  I don’t dislike many things in my life, but I really dislike Parkinson’s right about now.  I feel sometimes that I am playing a game. Kind of like, ok, who’s going to wake up today and what kind of mood are they going to be in.

The reason I say this, I let Momma sleep in yesterday, and when I first got her up she was fine, Until she went to walk into the other room. She lost focus, and wanted to slither down.  The Farmer and I made her do it, in fact, uhm, we were both kind of yelling at her.  When she finally made it to her chair, she had tears rolling down her face, and told us both she was trying.   We both gave her a BIG hug and told her not to cry, we know how hard she is trying.  She promptly went back to sleep, and then woke up later in the day, and apparently full of life and giggles.  (I wasn’t there to see it.)

Today, when I got to the Farmer’s,  Momma was awake and I had thoughts of getting her up early…uhm…nope, she went straight up Parks and I didn’t even try.    After I had given her the 11″s, she was awake so I got her up.  I told the Farmer, I probably jumped the gun because half way through it, that ugly thing called Parkinson’s decided to grab hold of Momma.    She tried, oh so hard, and we made it to her chair, but her face was stiff, and so was the rest of her.   I think the Farmer needs a break, because his back was groaning and so was mine at this point.

Momma, went right back to sleep, and the Farmer ate his sammich I had made for him, me?  I went next door and worked out in a frenzy.  I came back and gave Momma some more meds, and then she wanted to use the restroom.  So, we got her up and onto the porta-potty.  Nothing happened, and back into her chair.  Although, we did walk in circles to get her back into her chair and I have to say, Momma walks some pretty fierce circles.  (This reminds me of Parkinson’s because sometimes all’s you do is walk in circles).

I left and headed home, and lo and behold, it was raining at my house.  That also reminds me of something my Grandma B. used to say to me.    When it rains it is because someone in heaven is crying.  I believe it’s called Tears from Heaven.  I don’t need to cry today, because Heaven already did it for me.

 

 

 

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2 responses

  1. That last line really got to me. I know exactly what you are going through. I can no longer physically manage to walk Anthony – too heavy.

  2. my heart goes out to you my friend. Al is getting to the point, where his words he wants to say take time to get from the brain to the lips, and then he either repeats himself over and over or ends up stuttering. he is so unsteady when he walks and is forgetting how to use the cane. a few times this past week, i have caught him with the cane between his two legs, and of course this would cause him to stumble worse. tonight for supper we ordered pizza. it took him forty-five minutes to eat two slices. i just keep noticing more and more changes, and i mean, sometimes a new change daily

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