Truth….

 

Ok, I have to confess, I am still awake…duh…I’ve had a week so to speak…  But here I am still awake.

Truth be told, I am listening to music on the Electrician’s headphones, these things are the BOMB…ok I may be old school here but, I really am enjoying listening to music and typing at the same time, who knew?

I have danced with Momma, straight up and bed danced, wheel chair danced, but she would be oh so proud of me dancin here with the head phones, and dancing in the chair….with headphones on….

Sorry, kids, I am filled with so many emotions tonite…The Electrician would yell at me about now… But he’s snoring…

This Parkinson’s thing, I usually have down pat.  I have researched, and researched, until I could throw up with the knowledge.  I don’t like it.  I’m sure the Farmer doesn’t either.

Momma, that’s the big question, she has been so much like her old self lately, I’m scared.  They always say the best is right before the fall.   Especially when she told me today, “I’ll be gone before Christmas“.  Ok what the hell does that mean?  We almost lost her last Christmas.

Forgive a daughter for being scared, but at the same token, what am I scared of?    For Momma going to be with our Father and an end to her suffering?  I’m selfish, I guess….  I really like her to be around…But if the Lord wants her, and she wants to go…so be it…

But I honestly don’t think the Farmer is ready to let her go, and by the same token, neither am I…

 

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3 responses

  1. So hard isn’t it, dancing queen!

  2. i hate this part of the disease, preparing yourself for the long road, never knowing for sure if and when it is going to happen, worrying and stressing, wishing all could be different and yet you make it through each day

  3. I do everything to music. I find that it relaxes me. The only things I watch on television are sports and three current series on USA. I don’t like sports announcers and commercials, so I’ll turn the sound off and listen to music while watching sports.

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