Most people recognize family, as just that, family.  Be it brothers, or sisters, Moms and Dad’s and the like.   I have a different version of family.

I have realized that sometimes, even though you are blood, it does not make you a family.    The reason I know this?  I’m about to go into some personal issues, and they are solely my issues, but the end result is what I have learned in my OWN experience.

I had a birth Mother, whom I have never met.  It was her loss, not mine.  I was cared for by my first step-Mother, who did not share the same blood as I, but who loved me.  She never had any children, and I was it. ( I believe I told y’all last night she died when I was 11.) Her family, My Grandma Kile, and all of the family, accepted me.  They all loved me, and I spent a lot of summer’s at her house and then to my Grandma Ruth’s house.

My second stepMomma, the one I write about, married the Farmer, after I had left home.  She dated my dad for a couple of years, so I knew her and loved her, and accepted her.     She is my Momma, and has been my friend, in my “grown up” years.

I never had any “blood” brother’s or sisters.  But I do have a lot of brother’s and sister’s.  I was lucky enough to go to a Boarding School for my 10-12 grade years.  London Central High School.  Which, for those that don’t know, it was an American High School, which housed day student’s, 5 day dormies, and 7 day dormies.   We were all American kids, on British soil, on an American Air Station.   We all shared a common bond.  We lived in a dormitory, we were away from our parent’s, and we were all family.  The funniest thing about this, is that we are a group, we have all bonded from our situations.  We are all friends, even people who went to the school after I graduated, to people who went to the school before I ever got there.  There are some of those people, I call my brother and sister.  I also know, that should I ever need anything, anyone of them would be there.  I truly believe as well that after staying in contact after 33 years, means something.

I have met friends in my life, and I call some of them brother’s or sister’s.  Because they love me and I love them.  I’ve also met some people in my life that I do NOT call brothers or sisters, and their time in my life, was for me to learn something or another.  The lessons were hard at times, but I learned them.    I don’t take love lightly.  I also have a close circle.  Sometimes, I don’t always speak up, but I do a lot of thinking in the back ground.  But, seriously, once I let you into my circle, you will be there always.

To me, a family isn’t necessarily blood relations.  It is simply who chooses to accept me, who love me, and would do anything for me, as I would for them.


3 responses

  1. I understand this completely – great post!

  2. it is odd, that we have birth mothers who were not in our lives. i met mine, when i was in my thirties, and it was a big mistake, u never met yours. you had a grandma Ruth, and so did I. My father told me I would love her, she was my real grandma. Four days before it was set to meet her, she passed away, so that never happened. I had other siblings, three sisters, one i met who didn’t like me, the other two i never met and did not know their names, and one brother, who was a brat! we are alike in it seems many ways……………i was born in indiana,, my mother was too but lived in Arizona for many years before passing in 2006

  3. When I came out of the closet in 1993, I learned from self-help author Louise Hay that family are people who support you, not necessarily blod relatives. After all, no one got to choose which family they were born into, but it’s always possible to choose your family at any given point in time.

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