While today has been a day…a birthday, a day with Momma, it’s been a day. Sometimes at the end of the day, I like to sit and think about my day. I like to look back at things I’ve learned, or things I felt, or just reflect.
I had some moments with the Farmer today. We both share the same thoughts. His biggest fear is waking up and coming in to give Momma her meds, and she will be gone. When I look back at our conversation, I think I may have insensitive to his feelings, and for that I apologize. You see, I kind of laughed it off and stated, “Well, Dad, it’s not the first time this has happened, but hopefully it will be the last”. You see, I lost my first Step-Momma to a death that happened in her sleep. Unfortunately, I was the one to find her, and being the age I was, I didn’t understand.
The Farmer is nervous, that this will happen again and the sense of “Deja Vu” is haunting him. But like we discussed today, when God wants you, he’s gonna take you, no matter who is there to try to fight for you.
The Farmer has been pretty quiet lately, and I know that things are weighing heavily on him. If I could take this burden away from him I would, but I can’t. The only thing I can do, is be there right by his side and help any way shape or form that I can.
To the Farmer I say this, When God wants to take Momma back into his family, to see all of her “old mates, and family”, he will, but until then we are giving her the best care we can. And trust me when I say, she knows she is loved.
I Love you Daddy, and please, take a few moments out of your day, to rest, I got this, ok? What will be will be. It’s not ours to question, it is only ours to deal with, and trust me when I say I am right there with you.