Putting Momma to bed…..

Today, was what I like to call my upside down day.  Instead of getting Momma up, I put her to bed instead.   While all Summer long I would do this on a regular basis on Wednesdays, because the Farmer had his “guy outing thingy”, when the fall and winter hit, it’s over.  Because our regular Caregiver Beth has school (college) on Thursday nights, I agreed to a slight change in schedule.

So on Thursdays, Beth goes over and gets Momma up for the day, and I really miss those Good Morning Hugs I get.  But I found out tonite, I kind of enjoy those “Goodnight Momma” hugs.

When I got there, the Farmer was in the middle of giving Momma her meds, so I took over, so he could fly down the road and pick up some dry cleaning.   Funny thing though, I do the Farmer’s laundry and asked him why he took his shirts  to the Dry Cleaners. He replied with “Starch“.    So, I replied with “Uhm, Dad, they sell starch in a can and you use it with an iron.”    I won’t tell you about the look I got, but then I told him, if he wanted his shirts starched, all’s he had to do was buy a can of it, I do know how to iron.  For goodness sakes I was in the Air Force, and I did NOT send my stuff to the Dry Cleaners.  So needless to say, there were a couple of giggles.  At least I giggled.

While he was gone, Momma and I started watching some movie on The Hallmark Channel.  But after a couple of minutes of it, I got up and started making the Farmer his dinner.  I told Momma I would be back, and she told me she was fine, but could she have a mouth swab of orange juice.  I gave it to her and then went back into the kitchen.

When the Farmer returned from getting his starched shirts, he walked into  a kitchen full of smells.  There was hamburger steaks smothered in mushroom onion gravy, mashed potato’s and green beans waiting for him.  He ate his dinner, and then had dessert, (I already knew what it would be), a piece of bread smothered in gravy.

Momma and I were still watching the movie, and when the Farmer came into the room after eating dinner, he smiled at me and asked me if I knew what he had for dessert.  Well duh….  then Momma looked over and asked for her dessert, and then she remembered she had not “eaten” dinner.    We by-passed that a little bit, by giving her another mouth swab of orange juice, which I might add, she sucked every drop of it and swallowed it too.

Momma and I continued to watch the movie and I got a bit uncomfortable.  The Movie was about a young teenage girl who had lost her mother and it was her, and her father, with her baby brother.  They hired a housekeeper, who fell in love with the Father, and the daughter was an absolute “bitch” as only 16-year-old girls can be.  The 16-year-old daughter was very mean to the  housekeeper, and things just went from there, the movie had a happy ending.

I was uncomfortable simply for the fact, this was kind of the life I had.  My first step-mother died when I was 11.  It was me and the Farmer most of my life.  I was a total shit to some of the women he dated, I wasn’t thinking about him, I was thinking of me.

But then he met my Momma.  He dated her for quite a while before they got married (it was after I had left home).  I really don’t think, I was ever a shit to her.  I truly liked her and in time, I learned to love her oh so much.

I found an old photo album today, I looked at it and smiled, I can tell you each and every circumstance for every picture.   The Farmer and Momma used to travel across the pond to see me and my family at least once or twice a year.  I loved those visits.

At the end of the movie, Momma looked at me, and asked “Is this based on a true story?”  I knew what she was thinking, and I told her it was just a movie.   The Farmer and I got Momma up and she walked into the bedroom, and did her evening thing (of which I flew by the seat of my pants, because it’s been awhile for me).

When I had Momma all tucked up, she went straight up Parks.  She was talking some very weird stuff.  I leaned over and whispered into her ear, “Momma, the Farmer and I love you, YES, you are married to him, YES, I am your daughter, and YES, we love you”.  She grabbed Mr. Bear, hugged him and smiled at me.  I went in and got all her bedtime meds ready, and then went and gave them to her.

Parkinson‘s really screws with the mind. period.  Momma was all sorts of messed up and I know this, simply because the meds wear off.  But I didn’t imagine the deathlike grip on my hand, nor the smile in her eyes, when she told me she loved me.

I may have been a total shit when I was 16, but I am not that total shit 16-year-old anymore.  The Farmer truly married the Love of his life when he married Momma, I just got lucky that she took me in as her daughter when I most needed it.

The three of us, truly spent a night that I will never forget ever.  From the sneaking the Cadbury ice cream bars, to tucking Momma in.  Kids, I’m making memories that will last me a lifetime.  I’m sorry to the Electrician for being gone, but I seriously would not trade tonite for anything.

To Daddy, Love you, and I am sorry for being a shit.

To Momma, I so love you even if your mind is fouled up by Parkinson’s

To the Electrician,  you and I have the rest of our lives.


2 responses

  1. that was beautiful Jo. I am so happy that you have wonderful memories…………..

  2. Such a beautiful post written by a beautiful person.

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