The past few days, I have not been myself. I had fallen into that thing called the “pity pot”. I have been angry, hurt, and just overall not myself.
Sometimes, life catches up to you and you get angry/hurt at the injustice of somethings. I’m better today, after my major “blow-up/meltdown” of yesterday.
The funniest thing, yesterday, the Electrician and I had Cam-Man most of the day. We had fun, made cookies, and laughed a bunch. It is very hard not to laugh with Cam-man, that kid just does the funniest things. His vocabulary has expanded, and it’s fun to listen to.
His biggest thing these days is Papa. His little voice fills up the house with shouts of “PA”, if there is no answer then it is “PAPA”. The kid can yell that’s for sure. While he didn’t mind playing with me for about the first hour and a half, he got bored with me and started yelling. The Electrician was downstairs repainting my hood that goes over the stove. (By the way it turned out SWEET!) “PAPA” little man yelled down the stairs, and papa answered with “What little buddy, I’ll be there in a minute ok?” “K” yelled Cam-man and then he proceeded to steal my nose and eat it.
Pa came up and then it was on. We all three played hide and seek, and then dissolved into a big huddle in the middle of the living room floor. Little dude started talking to Pa and I, and we both were amazed, he can come up with some really funny stuff. I was looking through my cook book to make some dinner with shrimp that the outlaws had brought us, and little dude climbed up into my lap and was totally mesmerized by the cookbook. He took the book from me and hid it so I had to go find it. That little kid is amazing, he loves his Papa and lets everyone know it.
It was a fun day yesterday, last night I went and put Momma to bed. I made the Farmer dinner of Salisbury steak and gravy with mashed potato’s and green beans. Then I set up a Beef stew in the crock pot for his dinner over the weekend. Momma was sleepy. She snoozed about the whole time I was there. When it came time to put her to bed, we used the wheelchair. When I was wheeling Momma into her room for bed, I popped a couple of wheelies with her in the wheelchair, she was not impressed, but she did giggle when we got to her room. Momma got tucked up and we turned her t.v. on, unfortunately she could not keep her eyes open to watch it.
I gave Momma her meds and she pretty much slept through it, she did wake up when I gave her a hug and a kiss and told her I would see her in a couple of days. She did tell me when I gave her a kiss, that she really loved me and thanked me for taking care of her.
Momma does not stay awake too much these days. I understand that, we have progression. Sometimes her dreams are more entertaining than real life. I think for me, between my life with Momma, and my life outside of Momma, I have reached my limit. I say that with knowing how I am.
I truly am not a person that sits on the “pity pot”, I was their last night, and I really did not like it. There is a reason for everything that I go through, I know this, I’m not sure what it is. But at the same token, it is not me to question why, it is me to question, what am I not learning by all of the things going on? There is a lesson in everything, I just have to figure out what it is….