Family..It’s complicated….

You can choose your friends, you can choose the people you hang out with, but you cannot choose your Family.

But you know what?  Your Family is just that….family.  Be it Step Father, Step Mother, step brother, step sister, half-brother, half-sister, whatever.  Family is family.

I have been honored with 2 step-Mothers in my life.   I’m not sure exactly what “Step” means other than the fact these women did not give birth to me.  But ya know what?  I know that both of these women loved me like they had given birth to me.

My first Step-Mother, Dorothy, my father married when I was about 2 or 3 years old.  She cared for me as her own all through out my “early years”.  unfortunately for us, she died when I was about 11 or 12, I seriously cannot remember, those were dark years for me.    I say this because Dad and I actually talked about her today.  Sometimes, when someone passes away, you never forget them, and while sometimes it may be a different thing in your life, you always remember them.

From her, I learned oh so much.  She raised me the best way she knew how, and I am not lacking anything from it other than missing her over the years.

My Momma now?  I would not trade her for anything.  I have always thought that God brings people into your life when you need them, and they can teach you as well as you teach them.

My Momma has been my Momma for the last 31 years, which on record, means she’s stuck with me the longest (Besides my Dad).  When she first came into our lives, I was the bratty little teenager who thought I knew it all.  Boy was I mistaken.  Momma was patient and tolerant, and just what the Farmer and I needed in our lives.

While the Farmer and Momma had a life I only know about through the “telling” and pictures, there are times I have felt I was there .  I know they always came to visit me at least once a year if not twice.  I have pictures and memories to prove it.

When I truly needed the Farmer and Momma, they came through for me, and for that I am eternally grateful.  You see, they saved me from a situation that is better left unsaid.  The fact that Momma opened up her home to me, and we became the best of friends during that time, has sustained me through some of the times I am going through now.

Momma was diagnosed with Parkinson’s.  Parkinson‘s is not a pretty thing, it will take your guts and make you eat them and then still ask why.  But ya know what?  I’m here, and I’m dealing with it, as is the Farmer.

The Farmer and I truly had a heart to heart talk today.  I know that I am more “up” on the situation than he is.  Simply because I do not want to feel like that 11-12 year old again.    This one is gonna hurt me and the Farmer, this I know, simply because of our conversation today.

But instead of what is looking at to happen, I choose today to remember good times, and the history.

The History of the Farmer asking me if I “minded” if he asked momma for her hand in marriage.  I asked him before I gave permission…”Did you ask her Dad?”  To the first time they both came to hold my oldest son…..Me crying when they both held my 1st son.  For that fact, My grandma Ruth holding my oldest son.  To the birth of my second son, and both of them coming and giving Congratulations.  To pictures of the Farmer and Momma in a pool in a hotel swimming with both of my sons.

To the day I moved in with both of my son’s into their house, and thanking them for giving me a home.  To the Farmer buying my Trailor and giving me the faith in myself to starting my new future.

To me finding the man of my dreams, the Electrician, and allowing me and the Electrician to getting married in Momma and the Farmer’s home with a party included.

To becoming the Step Mother to 1 son and 2 daughters that totally hated me at the time.  Over time, we have made a relationship.  While the road has been rocky, we’ve made it because I would not trade any of them for anything.

My son’s?  While I love both of them, One has turned totally against me, not for anything I have done, but simply because he does not like “tough-love“, because while I have made decisions, so has he.  I am not responsible for his, I am responsible for mine.    The other one?  I have stood by him, and loved him, while I do not necessarily agree with his choices, as his Momma I can only love him, and let him make his own mistakes.

I love my family, I truly do….I also love some little guy named Cam-Man with all of my heart, he has truly hit mine and his  Papa’s heart, also I think he has wormed his way into the Farmer’s heart as well.

Family?…Yea, it may be complicated, but when it is all said and done….Well, they have your back, and they love you, no matter how complicated it gets….  And I am here to tell you, I love mine with all that I am….


3 responses

  1. Beautifully written Jo.

    1. TY Jules….from the heart….

  2. that was a great and beautiful story Cams!!!!

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