Have you ever had a day when just too many things are going on, and you just wanna do nothing?
When you feel a grief inside, and cannot explain it, but you feel it all the same?
When you try, and nothing you seem to do can make things better?
When instead of feeling that things are ok, they are not?
When you worry about things, that are out of your control, and you know this, but you worry just the same?
When you become consumed by certain things, and some people just don’t seem to understand?
When people tell you, you have changed, and maybe you have, but they also do not walk in your shoes?
Sometimes, things just get out of control, and while you try your best to keep them in control, you may forget and allow somethings to fall to the side.
Sometimes, you need to realize, when you think you have it under control, you really don’t.
But the thing is, what would you do if you walked in my shoes?
Would you be as caring?
Would you spend your time giving something to someone else, that you love with all your heart?
Would you sacrifice some part of your life for another part of your life?
Sometimes, we do what we have to do, we do what we feel the need to do.
Maybe I have changed, but at the same token, if you walked in my shoes, would you do the same?
Sometimes it is just hard to be a Caregiver, and my family my suffer because of it, I am sorry for all of the things, I have failed to do. I am sorry if I have hurt any of my family members feelings, because I am a Caregiver.
Maybe I am being selfish, and I hope they can understand this. This is my Momma, While it is sometimes hard to comprehend, what lengths would you go to for your parents?
Sometimes there are too many emotions on this roller coaster, and I am trying to deal with all of them and still let my family know I love them with all of my heart.
Maybe I have lost a part of myself by doing this. But it is a part, that I would gladly give up, simply because of a love for my Momma. Because when this journey ends, I will have a life long of lasting memories of a woman, who loves me beyond all recognition and who at this time needs me, and wants me to be there.