There are so many things I want to say.
There are so many emotions going through me.
There is so much, that I am trying to deal with.
There is so much, I want to deal with.
There is a lot I am not dealing with.
The clock ticks on the wall.
I hear it ticking.
I was brought to my knees today, and the Farmer too.
The simple words of Momma,
We have all felt too.
I try not to for see…
What the future will bring.
But Momma knows,
and is trying to let us know,
in her own calm way.
She want’s to leave us…
To go home.
Where her life will be different, from what it is now.
Her Mother’s love will hug her for us.
She will no longer suffer from Parkinson’s.
For that I am Thankful.
For her leaving us, I will hurt.
Plain, Simple, no words needed.
I hate days, like today.
When Momma is doing her best to warn us,
Because she knows we will feel pain.
She knows how much we love her.
For that I am thankful.
I only want what’s best for Momma….
If she wants to go home,
and God is ready to take her….
then so be it.
I just don’t know that I am ready…
for our journey to be over…..
The only thing that goes through my head at this time is this:
The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name’ sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: For thou art with me;
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;
Thou annointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.
The 23rd Psalm….
Momma and I said this prayer today…. especially after she told me about all of the “dead” people who have come to visit her, her Mother included.
There are things I do not understand. But ya know what? If God wants her, then let her be and go with God.