Feelings….And Parkinson’s….

Sometimes, we get so wrapped up in our own stuff, that we forget about other people’s stuff.

I am Blessed, simply because I can take care of Momma on a daily basis.  Do I sacrifice other parts of my life for this?  Yes.  At a cost to me?  yes.  At a cost to others? yes.  Would I change it? No.

I know the saying goes, cherish what you have, because it may not be here tomorrow.  I understand it, on so many levels.

Parkinson’s Disease, does not just affect the person who has it, but the entire family as well.  To the husband, who diligently helps his wife, to the daughter, who tries to do what she can, to the Husband of the wife, who misses her, but semi understands what she is doing.  To the heartbreak, and smiles, and to just being a part of it.

I didn’t sign up for this, but here it is.  I didn’t ask for this, but here it is.  I will deal with this, because here, it is.

While I try to do the best that I can, with what I know, I am like a sinking ship in the water.  If I go this way, I’m gonna sink, if I go that way, I’m gonna sink.  Wait, is there no floats available.  Uhm….nope.

This evening, I am torn in about 300 different ways.  I am trying so hard not to  sink, and swim my way to shore, but guess what?   While I think I am making progress, I’m not.

It’s ok, though, because, for me?  There are lesson’s in this journey I am on.  I’m still trying to find them, and I will, trust me.    Just when I think I have it all figured out, I get thrown a curve ball.  I’m on the catcher’s mound, and I will figure it out, it might take me a while, but I will.  But seriously, while my family rebels, and my mind takes a nap, I’m still doing good.

God has picked me to go through this journey, and there is a reason for it, I am still trying to figure it out…..I haven’t yet, and am questioning a bunch of things through it.

To my Family….Please don’t give up on me, I’m here, but I am kind of like Momma at the moment and trying to find my way….

Yes, I may be consumed by this thing,. but instead of asking questions and being mad at it, why don’t you join me on this journey, and find out for yourself what it is all about?  It is a Road less traveled, and one, not many people have the strength to go through,

I am Blessed that I have the strength to do it, and will go through it, because she is My MOMMA…..

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