Housekeeping and memories…..

I’ve had a rough couple of days lately.  Not just because of Momma, but some other issues as well.  I decided, I needed to clean out my purse and wallet, because it has become a little heavy lately.    I take my purse with me every where, I even changed my purse lately from my “winter one” to my “summer one”.  I have to laugh, though.  Simply because I went through and demolished Momma’s closet, and drawers.  That was a 2 day affair.

In the past few years, I’m not sure what my Momma was thinking, because I have slowly made my way through the house, and cleaned a bunch of stuff.  It took me 3 hours to go through my Grandma Ruth’s writing desk that my Mom had taken over as her own.  It is a very fine antique, that has a pull down desk with slots like the old-time desks, then it has 3 drawers in it.  I cleaned it out and went through everything.  I smiled, I giggled and I cried over things I found, and things I truly cherish.    After filling up a trash bag, seriously, who really keeps old batteries, and cards from forever ago.  I found pictures, that brought smiles to my face.  I found letters, I had written from years ago.  I found letters Momma had written but never sent.  I found My Grandma Ruth’s picture book from the 1920’s through 1950’s, I don’t know who some of the people were, but I could find my Grandma and my Grandpa and also my Dad in the photo’s.  Then I found my Grandma Ruth’s funeral book.  It tore me up.  My Grandma Ruth was a very main figure in my growing up years, she was my Mom so to speak.  It broke my heart I could not attend the funeral.  But when I found the book, with pictures enclosed.  i felt a warm feeling that I can’t explain.

With the desk cleaned out, I moved onto Momma’s room, and went through her dresser.  Now I don’t know about you, but I usually keep clothes in my dresser at home.  Not my Momma.  It is a 4 drawer dresser with a marble top that slides.  (It’s heavier than you can imagine) I pulled out the drawers two at a time and dragged them into the living room.   I went through everything, and became amazed at some of my findings.  I guess Momma, did not want to keep clothes in her dresser, because out of 4 drawers I only found 5 t-shirts, but a bunch of everything else.  I found more pictures, that I smiled, laughed and cried about.  To me, these 4 drawers were a memory stash.

If you ever wonder if your parent truly loves you, go through their stuff.  I found things I had sent to Momma years ago, and she had saved.  I also found pictures, and one drawer was dedicated to simply books on tape.  I had the living room torn up, and finally weeded out the stuff that could go, but saved a bunch of treasures.

I then moved onto the top of Momma’s closet.  With things going the way they are, we needed more room to store momma’s supplies to keep her going.   I pulled out everything from the top of the closet, and again the front room was torn up.  I do have to giggle though to the Fed Ex driver who is a regular visitor to our house.  He arrived, and I had Momma’s favorite hat on my head, and things thrown all over the front room when he made his delivery.  He smiled at me, and told me “nice hat”, I had forgotten i had it on, and I smiled and said simply “cleaning out clutter.”

I’ve lived a lifetime of memories the past few days.  I’ve remembered momma at her best, when things were “normal” whatever that means.  I can see the things she treasured, I’ve kept the best of things, and even brought them to my house, when the Electrician looks at me and says, “What’s this?”.  I simply look at him and say, “This is my Momma’s and I’m keeping it.”

The Farmer and I have gone through a multitude of things lately.  We have shredded stuff, and giggled, and hugged over the past.    Momma is Momma, but she was the glue so to speak.  I found a bunch of pictures, that I have taped to her closet, simply so she can look at something when we need her to stand up, so I can finish cleaning her. I will not explain that statement, you can draw your own picture.

I have learned a bunch of things over the past few days.  I’ve had some highs and some definite lows.  That brings me back to what I originally waned to post about.  I cleaned out my wallet today, and I found something I have carried in my wallet for about 22 years now.  I would like to share it with y’all.

It is a small square with a cross, that has been stitched into a pocket, and in that pocket is this:

prayerSo, my scanning skills are lacking, but it something I have tried to do over the last few years….  God is watching over me, and he knows just how much I can handle, and what lesson’s I need to be learning…..  I’ve learnt a bunch the past few days, and I’m still learning.

Some people get uncomfortable about this, but I’m ok with it.  Simply for the fact.  I Am Me.  period, end of sentence.  Whatever is thrown my way, I will deal.

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One response

  1. Oh I can so relate to this Jo an I love the way you have written about it.

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