Time has passed and time has been carrying on for me and the farmer. We said goodbye to Momma, each in our own way. We think about her everyday. The struggle, the good times and bad. For me? I was at a loss a bit, but then found my groove. Only to be hit by something so totally unexpected, it knocked me to the ground….My best friend of 15 years died so fast and so unexpected, it hit me very hard. This friend had stood by me through all of Momma’s illness, picked me up off the floor when Momma died, and held my hand through my stupid divorce and pushed me back to my soul mate.. I did inherit a son through all of this. It was a promise made before we even knew it was our last days together. I can only be happy knowing, when she died, she knew I loved her, and she knew I would take care of her son. She knew I would be there always. Since she has passed, I have been at the birth of her grandson, planted grass on her grave and fought for her headstone.
But this is not what this is about…..grief, it is a strange thing that comes at some strange times. I’ve had my share, and so has everyone else. I have chosen to deal with it in a strange manner. I try to do at least one random act of goodness once a day in the name of those I have loved and have passed.
I am lucky enough to be employed at a job I truly love. I work at a truck stop, and do a variety of jobs on any given day. I am a “chef” in the kitchen, or a baker in the “cinnabon” area, or a line person who serves meals, or just a cashier who takes your money for gas. I have met so many different people and shared so many stories, and just smiled at a million people on a daily basis. It makes me feel good to know that I can make someone’s day without even trying. To that free cup of coffee, in Momma’s name, to that free sandwich in Jill’s name, to just listening to someone talk because there is no one else around.
I really do have a good life, It has changed from so much when I first started this blog…..I am loved by many, and cherished by a few. I have found the love of my life again, even though he and I lost each other for a bit, he is still my main man. I have another dude in my life who has been around for a while, but he is growing, and still loves me. 🙂 I can’t express in words so here are a few pics… The Farmer and I at the Memorial for Hospice patients who passed. Jill, Kyle and I, and my beloved Cam Man at his first t-ball gave. While this may be a post all over the map, I am doing well, and I miss the blogging world…..Peace to all of you!