I have come to the conclusion, that I am not faithful to my blog anymore. When I first started it about a year and a half ago, I faithfully typed every night, sometimes a couple of times a night. I don’t know if I am suffering from “blog burn out” or simply getting to a stage in my blog, that I cannot share everything with y’all anymore.
When I first started my blog, I was a very scared Daughter of a Parkinson’s momma. I did not know what to expect, and I honestly did not think it would bring to me where I am today. I have opened myself up to y’all, and told you about daily living, as a Caregiver for this disease.
But what I did not expect, was that my words would run dry. I did not expect to come to a time, when I find myself not wanting to share some moments, simply, because I know I am on the last leg of my journey, and I am trying to hold everything dear and near to me. I have noticed, I only post on the weekends, and that’s probably because I have more time on the weekends to give you an insight. But even that isn’t really even close to what I am living right now.
There are a lot of things that go on, that I can’t even bring myself to write about, and that’s me, because if I write them down, then it makes it so much more real. It does not take away their value, nor the reality, it’s just me procrastinating the enivatable.
So, at the end of today, while I may have gone and “filled” in for Caregiver Beth, because she was sick, and I went and took care of Momma, it wasn’t a burden, it was a Blessing. I know my time may be short, but then again, it may be longer too, who knows?
All’s I know at this point, everyday is a Blessing, and I am thankful for it. I have faith y’all, and I told y’all there is a lesson, I’m learning it. Ok so I may be hard-headed and might not be the best student, But I am learning.
This is probably the hardest thing I have done in my life so far, and at 51, I’m still learning….It’s ok though, because, I know I’ve got a “crew” on my side and a bunch of angels, looking out for me, and Momma……
This would be all of the other women in my family, they were named the “crazy” bunch, but they sure did like to laugh…..
This would be me in my former life, with my boys and husband at the time…..Momma and the Farmer used to come and visit me twice a year, because they still lived in England, and they tried to see me as much as they could. I always cherished these visits, because it was so nice to have “normal” in a chaotic situation.
Momma and the Farmer used to like making puzzles and put stuff together, and one of the loves of their lives was “Toots“. The beloved cat, that met them while Momma and the Farmer stayed at the Glo Motel waiting for the house. Toot’s is a different blog post all together.
This is the Farmer, Momma and I the day I got married to my beloved Electrician. Momma was so into the wedding and getting the house ready, I got married in the living room with all of our children around us, and Momma and the Farmer too.
This is the Farmer and Momma not to long ago, okay…maybe 2 years. Momma was still herself, sort of.
I have a million pictures, and I could share them with all of you, but this is where I will end my memory lane for Momma’s birthday. I will say this, Parkinson’s is a horrible disease, it leaves you not knowing what is going to happen around the corner, cherishing every day you have, and Thanking God, that the person has been in my life and knowing HER.
I love my Momma, and I truly wish her a Happy Birthday, to cherishing the memory of her savoring the orange sherbet, I gave her on a spoon, to celebrate her birthday with. While I wish we could have had a party and truly celebrated in the style we are so used to, I will settle with Orange sherbet and her smile, which lights up my heart.