Tag Archives: Cam

The Joys…..

DSCN4507See this little face?  I had the pleasure of spending the day with him today.    I got my unhappy butt out of bed at o’dark thirty am, and brushed my teeth, got dressed grabbed a cup of coffee and flew down the road to his house.

I was met by Bella the dog and the Nurse, who blew kisses to me, as she left for work.  Lil’ dude was still sleeping, so Bella and I shared some, “she thinks her 40lb butt is a lap dog, while she loved all over me” time.  Bella finally settled down and we spent a little quiet time together, she really likes her ears rubbed.  (Uhm, please y’all don’t tell Ms. Baby the cat, I’ve been cheating on her ok?)

I heard lil dude waking up, and knew, he would come out of his room and go straight for his parents room, where he would crawl up onto their bed and curl up with whoever was there and go back to sleep, at least that is his usual routine.  I didn’t count on him, to see me sitting on the couch and the joy that lit up his face and he ran into my arms.  I scooped him up and he was giggling, and talking a mile a minute, “Hi Jo, you got me today?  We go to Papa Dan’s?  We go play with tractors?  You got oatmeal?”  And then he took a breath.  I guess it was a reunion, I haven’t seen him since last Thursday, when he spent the day with me.

We spent a few minutes just snuggling, and then Bella decided she wanted to snuggle with both of us, and all sorts of giggling, and licking and crazy stuff happened.  We got up and lil dude had to show me “I’m a big boy now Jo, watch”.   Yes, somewhere along the past few days, lil dude is almost potty trained (so much for the new batch of diapers I bought, but that’s a good thing really).

After getting lil dude dressed, complete with mickey mouse big boy briefs, we grabbed his backpack, packed a few things into it, as in a spare change of clothes,  5 favorite toys, his blankey and a sippy cup, we headed down the road.  I had to get gas, so we made a pit stop at the local Casey’s, and got some gas.  We then went in to pay and lil dude had to have “bug juice” in a Woody sippy cup (Woody as in Toy Story), and then he thought Papa Dan would like a donut, so he picked one out for him, and away we went.

Papa Dan had to visit the Vampire this morning, and that’s why we hurried over, so we could give Momma her first round of meds.  Imagine our surprise, when we arrived, Papa Dan was already home, and smiled big when he saw Cam-man.  The first words out of Cams mouth were “Papa Dan, we go see your tractors now PWEASE?”.  Cam settled down, we all decided to have breakfast first.

I in my infinite wisdom, had packed a bag from my house to bring with me this morning, it had 3 different choices of Oatmeal, 2 banana’s and some diapers, and a couple of Cam’s favorite snacks in it.

After Cam and Papa Dan had a breakfast of Oatmeal, although Cam was a little miffed because Papa Dan’s had raisins and his didn’t.   Papa Dan went to run to the store and Cam and I did some stuff around the house.  We swept the kitchen and dining room, and cleaned up some messes we had made on the kitchen floor, when we had a water fight in the sink. We watched a little t.v. and just had a good time.

Cam kept cracking me up though, because it was every 1/2 an hour, he was ready to go potty, but had to have me help a little.  We had already set up his stool by the toilet, and he knew to stand on it, but he couldn’t pull his shorts down without help.  This kid seriously cracks me up, after going, he proudly looks at me and says, “I tapped it Jo, no drips”.  I kept telling him, he was doing good, and he did ALL DAY long, there were no accidents.

Papa Dan and Cam went out to look at the tractors, and I had to laugh when, Cam told Papa Dan, he liked the cub lawn mower better than the John Deere, because of the steering wheel.

When it was time to get Momma up, Cam came in to help me, and Momma started giggling right off the bat, and said, ‘My Goodness, he is a giggle and cheeky too.”.

Fun times were had by all today, and it is such a change from the regular “doom and gloom”.   After leaving Papa Dan’s house, Cam came to my house, and we played in his sandbox for about an hour.  First I buried his feet, then he buried mine.  We both giggled a bunch!

I didn’t worry about what chores I had to do, I just had fun and  enjoyed my time with such a cool little person, although I may be biased.  But seriously…..looking at this face, it still makes me melt….

DSCN4585It also brings to mind so many giggles, I had and needed today.  Out of the mouths of a 3-year-old, especially when he was trying to figure out, how much older papa Dan was, and said to me, “Jo?  Your Daddy is old”.  I could do nothing but laugh, and say, “Yes, Cam-Man, he is, but he gets around,  and has good toys huh?”  he replied  “UH HUH, and  I  like his  twacters….”.

 

 

Advertisements

Taking a Minute….

I think some one has hit the fast forward button on my life at the moment.  Sometimes, I don’t know if I am coming or going, if I’ve already been there, or if I have yet to get there.

Today, was another long day for me, and I have one more and then, gasp, I may have a whole day to MYSELF, and just enjoy the heck out of it.  Ok, for those of you that know me, you are already laughing KNOWING, it won’t go that way, but a girl can hope can’t she?

Please, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE what I do.  I take care of my Dad and my Momma and my Grandson too, but sometimes, I feel overwhelmed, and see things going by at a rapid rate.  I like to slow down and at least enjoy the moments.

I had to laugh at one part of today.  Cam and I were on the way to Papa Dan’s, and now that Cam has started “driving” so to speak, he wanted to know where we were.    He pointed out to me the “Watter” and also he knew where the cows were.  But he got confused because we went the back roads, country way instead of through town.    He made me giggle, when he constantly asked me “Jo?  Corn or beans?”  After explaining to him the difference and what they looked like, I let it go.  But on the way home, he pointed out to me the difference between the corn and beans, and I simply had to giggle.  Little Dude is only 3 now, and he is learning. (I will expand on the statement about my 3-year-old grandson driving on another post.)

After dropping Cam-Man off at his Momma’s and visiting for a bit. I have to digress for a minute and  have to say, the Nurse came over and had coffee with me yesterday morning, before I went to Papa Dan’s and I so enjoyed, just sitting on the back porch, chatting , watching Cam in the Sand box, and just peace all around us.

I seem like I am all over the map, but that is because my mind is going 1000 miles an hour and I am trying to grasp everything.  Could someone just please push the pause button.

Ok, back on track.  When I went back to Papa Dan’s tonite, Momma was just pure joy to be around.  She did everything she was supposed to and arrived in her bed, with giggles.  Somewhere along the line, she got upset.  When I came back after dumping her trash, she was in tears, and when I asked her what was the matter, she asked me “Did I get you into trouble?”  “Uhm, No Momma, it’s me Jo”.  She looked at me and then went on with some story her mind had made, and thought she had gotten me into trouble.  After a few more minutes of talking to her, she looked at me, and said “I remember you, you are my daughter right?”, “Yes, Momma, I am your daughter, Joanne”.    With everything right in her world again, she calmed down, and held my hand and kissed me and went to sleep.  It’s moments like that I want to pause, soak up each thing, and remember.  For a few minutes, she was herself, and was okay.

I have to be able to find a few minutes each day to take out for myself, because to be honest, I feel thin.

Sometimes, I have learned with Caregiving, and I am not just a Caregiver to Momma, I am with my Dad, my Grandson, and to my husband, and the rest of my family, sometimes, I would just like to sneak away and have a few moments, where I don’t have to worry about nothing.

The Nurse asked me today, “When do you have a minute for yourself?”, and that started me thinking.  Maybe, I need to start taking minutes for myself.    I think I have found my answer.  I love music.  If I can have a couple of minutes, with earphones in my ear, and no one watching, I’m gonna start shaking my butt, with earphones, and let loose.

So…if your hear on the news tonite, that some 51-year-old woman is shaking her groove thing, with earphones in her ear, and the house blows down because of shaking, ask yourself, Was this Camsgranny’s house? Yup, it could be…..:)

Torn up, and guilt….

This one is off the cuff, and I promise not to delete it in the morning.    I’ve done that a bunch lately.  I have made a post and then wiped it off the face of the earth, because it left me feeling vulnerable..

Before I get into what  I really want to say, I just have to mention, I truly had have a wonderful day.  Today was Cam-Man’s 3rd Birthday, and the Electrician and I decided we are not moving anytime soon.  It’s ok, because I truly need to be here for other reasons.  Besides, that Cam-Man dude has wormed his way into his Papa and my hearts.

 

A friend, or shall I say Brother, has had a hard time lately.  His Momma was affected with something kind of like my Momma is.  Her time was up, and she was surrounded by her family, and she crossed over. So to speak.  His pain is great, and I feel it, because at the same token, I am dealing with some of what he did.

I look at death with a different eye these days.  It should not be a means for “selfishness”.  Because we are truly selfish for our reason’s for keeping someone who has suffered enough to be here, simply because it will crush us, to have them go away.

It has taken me some time to get to this point.   Why do we want our loved one’s to suffer, because we cannot let them go?    At the point I am at, let them go.  Let there be no more pain, let there be no more, what if’s.  If they are suffering and have no quality of life,   Let them go. 

I truly believe there is a ‘Rainbow Bridge” for animals, and I believe there is a Rainbow bridge for humans. 

I truly haste the suffering, and I hate the disease’s.  Any of them, be it Cancer, be it Alzheimer’s, be it Parkinson’s.  Any of them.  I don’t like what they do to a person, nor do I like what we, as family members have to deal with.  It ain’t pretty by any means, way, shape or form.  Sometimes the pain for the person suffering through “whatever” they have just hits us smack in the face, and Man does it hurt.

I know what is expected from me, I deal with what I can, but sometimes, on this road, I stumble and fall, but I get right back up and go with it.  That’s all I can do.

So, while y’all are out there dealing with whatever you deal with, just stop and think for a moment.  Do I really have it that bad?  Because 9 times out of ten you don’t.  

It’s taken me a LONG time to realize all of this.  I have a roof over my head, I have food to feed my belly, I am in control of all my body parts, (so far),  Before I even begin to think I have it rough, I sit back and look at others.  I’m not judging, I’m simply saying….Momma is still alive, and doing good.  I have my health, I have peeps I love beyond all recognition, and God is smiling on me. 

If nothing else, hug your kids and give them extra kisses, if your Mom and Dad are still alive, LET them KNOW how much they mean to you.  Don’t ever look back and say “I wish I had…”  Do it now,.

No regrets.  

 

 

 

WOW…what a weekend….

I know y’all are probably tired of me saying how Blessed I am, but gosh darn it, I feel it.  So much at times, that it outweighs the bad in my life.  Does that even make sense?  There are areas of my life that are totally tragic, and filled with doom and gloom.  But then, there are areas of my life that are so fun-filled and action packed, I can hardly contain myself.

Cam-man spent the night at my house last night.  It was a pre-planned event.  His parents needed a “date night” and plus to be honest, The Electrician and I wanted him to spend the night.  When Cam came over, we had a surprise for him.  After giving the Fisher dude a hug and kiss, he left and then the fun started.

We had a garage sale a couple of weeks ago, and Cam-man mentioned that he wanted a Sand box, with our profits from the garage sale.  The Electrician diligently searched the internet, and we found the best deal.  We ordered it and it arrived, the Electrician picked it and some sand up, and it was ready and waiting.

DSCN4515Cam Man was introduced to his Sandbox, and it was a hit.  Little dude, was all smiles, kicked off his shoes, and dug right in.  But he did ask his Papa, “You play with me Papa?”

 

 

 

 

DSCN4519Guess who climbed into the sandbox with Cam Man?  Yup…..his papa, and they both gave me the “face”.  The only thing I could do was giggle, simply because we did hand prints, foot prints, and Cam wanted to do face prints, but I drew the line at that one.

DSCN4522Next thing on the agenda was a boat ride.  Cam was totally up for this, after Papa gave him his life vest.  Cam cannot swim, and Papa was determined if the ship went down, little dude would be safe.  I cannot believe MY tongue was out for this picture.    We had a blast on the paddle boat, and Cam was a trooper.  He didn’t like the fact that maybe Jo was the reason Papa fell into the pond, but he sure giggled when instead of peddling forward, I pedaled backwards when we trying to go ashore.  OOPS, sorry Papa (hehehe not really, this was after he paddled me into the tree’s).  When we finally made it to shore, Cam helped “dock” the boat, and was ready for his bubble bath.

We had popped popcorn and Monster’s Inc. was on the t.v. and it was cool for a few, but Papa had been following the Blackhawks hockey team on the computer, and when it went into overtime, well….. Shoot in my house anything SPORTS rules.  Papa asked me turn on the t.v. in the bedroom because anything sports in my house has got to be seen.  Papa went into the bedroom and was watching Hockey, when Cam noticed he was gone, he asked me “Where’s Papa?”.  I told him, “in the other room buddy watching hockey”.  duh…it was on then….

DSCN4525I ended up in the front room watching Monsters Inc. and those two were on MY bed watching Hockey.

Needless to say, the Blackhawks won, and Cam fell asleep on the couch and I fell asleep on his bed, right next to the couch.  During the night Papa woke up, every time I rolled over, and Cam eventually rolled  off the couch onto me.

Cam and I snuggled all night, and when he woke up, I had to giggle.  His first words, “where is Papa?”, as papa came out of our room, Cam wiped the sleep out of his eyes, and gave me his “B”.  Priceless.   A few minutes later Cam arrived and sat on me with his bowl of oranges.  Papa, doesn’t have the advantage I do, and he improvised.  I got a cup of coffee with a bowl of oranges.

We all got ready and headed off to Church.   There is a Part 2 to this story, I will post the rest of it tomorrow, because between you and me, I’m tired and wiped.    I will tell you this, “Grandkids fill  a place you never knew was empty, until they arrived.”

Tomorrow is Cam Man’s b-day, we’ve got some surprise’s in store for that kid….

Before I go for the night I just want to say something.   To ALL of my kids, if I gave birth to you or not, I love ALL OF Y’ALL,  some of you have surprised me, and I am thankful for all of you.    ALL of  my kids have Blessed me in one way or another.

I am not just Blessed because of the Electrician, who goodness knows took me at my worst and has helped me to be my best, But to my Dad, who well, he gave the seed that was planted, and has helped me grow, and ALWAYS been my biggest follower, But to ALL the people who have helped me to be what I am, and also what I am growing into.   I have found, when you are so Blessed, you need to give Thanks, so I am giving Thanks to all of you.  Some of you don’t even realize that you have helped me.  To you, I say with a heartfelt Thank you.  I am Blessed.

 

A Special Day to me…….

While I am writing this tonite, it all actually happened yesterday, but…yestersay was a VERY long day for me and I have still to recoup.    I guess I’ll start, at the beginning…..

Yesterday, I woke up at o’dark thirty, and slugged back a half a cup of coffee and then flew down the road, to get Cam-man.  His Momma had to work, and he was going to spend the day with me.  Normally, when I arrive, Cam-man is still sleeping, and I have “play with Bella the dog time”.  Wasn’t in the cards, Cam man opened up the door and was very happy to see me.  I grabbed his clothes, and his “B” (blanket), and he was already in my car with his belt buckled.  To tell you what he said to me “Hurry Jo, Papa leave for work, HONK HONK get out of our way, I gotta see Papa”.

We flew back to my house and made it with a few minutes to spare, and the “love fest” lasted for a few minutes, then Papa had to go on down the road, as Cam Man says “Papa goes to work to make the $$ for us”.  I had to laugh, simply because I asked Cam, “Where’s your Daddy?”  his response “At work making trains for $$”.  “Cam, where’s your Mom?” “She’s at school?”  “No, she is at work”, “Mom’s at work, making $$ for me”.  I asked Cam, “Where’s Jo?”  he looked at me like I had lost my mind, and said “Here with me silly”.

We already had a very active day planned.  We got breakfast, and I think little dude was hungry, because when I asked him what he wanted, “Chocolate milk, and Papa’s cereal”.  After polishing off a bowl of cereal, he wanted a bowl of oatmeal too.

We got busy and set out Papa’s clothes for his workday the next day, folded laundry, ran the vacuum cleaner, cleaned Cam’s room, and also cleaned the bathroom.  We were done with all of our cleaning, and Cam looked at me in all seriousness of an almost 3-year-old and asked “Jo, we play outside now?”. Well….what do you say to that?

DSCN4499We had finished everything by about 8:45 am, so we went outside.  Cam had set up his trucks to “catch” his life-size tennis ball, and we played with that for a bit, seeing if we could get it to roll into the trucks.  The novelty of that wore off, and the true “boy” in Cam cam out when he grabbed his dump truck and went to his own dirt pile.

DSCN4502

DSCN4503He is very concentrated in his efforts to fill up the dump truck and then empty it and then start all over.    This kid truly enjoys being outside, and if the sun is shining, his philosophy is forget about being inside, let’s go outside.  I don’t need t.v., I need my dirt, dump truck and I’m really happy with a John Deere tractor.

We got cleaned up (sort of), and headed on down the road to Papa Dan’s house.  We went the back way, and saw cows, deer and tractors.  Cam got a little confused at the way went at first but once we hit the river, he knew exactly where we were.    I turned up the radio, and I secretly giggled, at the fact, Cam was singing to the radio.  I’m not sure if he knew what the words were, but he was singing.

When we got to Papa Dan’s the first thing he asked was, “Papa Dan, you get your tractor out for me?”

DSCN4509Well, after Papa Dan, played on his tractor, he parked it, and let Cam have a go.  This picture makes my heart melt.  Two very important people in my life, and it cracks me up.

DSCN4508Papa Dan is teaching Cam safety and told him, he could not go anywhere until he fastened his seat belt.  Look at the concentration on his face.  Cam was ready.DSCN4507

This one just cracked me up, because he was giving me his “I’m so happy” face.

While Papa Dan and Cam were having fun in the barn, I went in and got busy with Momma.    Momma was in rare form today.  She was happy and full of life and energy.  I told her how nice it was outside and asked her if she wanted to go for a walk outside with Papa Dan, and Cam and I, and she was ready.  She picked out her clothes, and after her bath, and stuff, she was ready.  DSCN4512

We got her into the wheelchair and we all headed outside.  Folks, this is the first time Momma has been outside in probably about 3 months.  The fact she WANTED to go outside was a plus to me.  The fact she ENJOYED being outside was even better.  The fact that she had a GOOD time, did not get nervous or upset, is PRICELESS, to me.

DSCN4513

While it may look like I have Momma in a head lock, I really don’t, if the picture had been taken a few seconds earlier, all three of us where holding hands.

This to me is a BEYOND PRICELESS day.

Yes, this was yesterday.  Today, not so much, but ya know what?  It’s ok.  Everyday cannot be a “priceless day”, and with so many good one’s I knew a bad one was coming, but at the same token, it wasn’t that bad.

To cap the end of a very long week, that’s had it’s up’s and down’s, I’ll take every moment, because to me the memories are worth it.  The fact I have them on film is even better.  I haven’t shared all of those moment’s with ya’ll, but some things, are just to special to share.

I learned some lesson’s this week.  But at the end of the day, I am Blessed by ALL of the people in my life.  Thank you guys from me, to my family, to my friends, to my readers….

Today….how it affected me…

Today, was a little different for me….it was a “fly by the seat” of your pants type of day.  I  got a call last night from the Nurse, asking me if I would watch Cam man today.  Pfft….is there any answer but yes?

So when the Electrician came into the bedroom and “gently” asked me to get up, I woke up swinging.  By that I mean, my hair was askew, and I tried to surface.  I grabbed the cup of coffee that was sitting there for me (Thank you honey).  I got the bed made and then got dressed.  By the way, have I mentioned how much I HATE to get up early?

I traveled over and arrived at the Nurse’s house before I was supposed to be there, and hehehe, she didn’t look any better than me, but all’s I had to do was deal with Bella the dog, and crawl on the couch, she had to go to work.

Bella and I made peace and we were both settling down to go back to sleep, but oops, Cam Man arrived.  Blanket in tow, and did not want to go back to sleep.  Sigh….After getting all his stuff together, telling Bella by, our day started.

Arriving at my house, and getting another cup of coffee and a mug of chocolate milk, we were ready.  While I will admit to laying on the couch with Cam man while “Curious George” came on, after he was done, me and Cam got busy.

Cam decided the clothes we brought over for him, wouldn’t cut it, he went into what I like to call the “blue room” and opened the drawer and dragged out his “Buzz lightyear” shirt and wanted to wear that today. So,it was.

Cam and I proceeded to breakdown a whole chicken, cuz, I was making fried chicken for dinner.  We made papa’s lunch and a pasta salad, and then decided it was time to go.  We did a few more things, but it’s ok.

On our drive to Papa Dan’s, I was peppered with, “Are we there yet?,  Now?  Now?”  We cheated this morning, we visited the golden arches.  (enough said).  (I have to admit, I was having keyboard problems last night and this is where I stopped typing, so this will be a 2 day post, as long as my keyboard co-operates.)

After arriving at the Farmer’s, we got busy with some stuff, and of course Cam-man peppered the Farmer with “Is it time to see the tractor yet?”.  After papa Dan got the John Deere out of the barn, Cam-Man and I went for a drive through the country, Cam even put his seat belt on and (imaginary) drove me everywhere.  We laughed and giggled, and just had an over all time.  It was time for us to go in and check on Momma and give her some more meds.  Cam was at the window, while I was giving meds to Momma, when Cam yelled at me.  “Jo, Papa Dan stuck”.  huh?

I was done giving meds and came to look at what he was talking about.  Sure enough, the mower was in the ditch, and Papa Dan had the John Deere tractor, ready to pull it out.  Cam and I flew out the door to offer ‘assistance”.

Cam was stationed at the top of the hill, and I went down into the ditch and helped to “drive” the mower out.  Cam was fascinated.    His eyes got so big, and he wanted to help so bad.  He was so excited when the mower got unstuck that he started jumping up and down and clapping and yelling.

With everything back to normal, I told Cam (after he had run the length of the yard, “driven” the John Deere, and conquered the pirates trying to steal the tractor) it was time to get Momma up.

We went inside and Cam-Man held Momma’s hand and gave her all the encouragement he could.  Him and Momma were “love muffins” today, the loving and hand holding and kisses going on.  Well….they make my heart melt.

Apparently, I wore Cam out, because he fell asleep on the way home and did not even want to wake up for his papa, and then when his Momma came to get him, he cried.  He was a very tired little boy.

Fast forward to today, when I wish Cam-Man had been there.  today, Papa Dan’s driveway got rocked and tarred, I wish I would have taken pictures.  (palm smack to the forehead, where is the camera?) Cam would have loved all the BIG trucks and stuff going on.

But anyway, today, was a good day.  Momma was back in form, and enjoyed  spending time with me, to holding my hand, and giggling over every day stuff.  Papa Dan got a new driveway, Papa Electrician got a note from Cam-man left on his window of his truck at work from Cam Man, and I had a good day period.

Remind me to tell y’all about the newest episode of Ms. Baby and the birds, and also it’s gonna be a good weekend.  Cam Man is spending the night.

My life if pretty busy right now, and I appreciate that fact, the busier I am keeps me out of trouble and dwelling on things.  It’s all good in my hood.  Hope it is the same for y’all….  Night…

Life and Living…..

Can I tell ya’ll a secret?  Can I tell you how much I am thankful for my life, and how I feel lucky?  While I may be dealing with some “stuff”, and be moaning about how bad I have it, I really don’t.  I still wake up every morning with a roof over my head, and food to fill my belly, and things that help me to do the “stuff” I do every day.

Today, was my “long” day with Momma.  Due to increased gas prices, I decided that when I had to get her up and put her back to bed, I would just stay at the Farmer’s all day, and do what I have to do.  Believe me, when I say, there is a bunch I do in that time, and ya know what?  On my drive home today, I looked at something the Nurse bought me for Christmas, and I think I have truly gotten the message….

DSCN4153This hangs from my rearview mirror, and it has My birthstone, and the Farmer’s and Momma’s.  It is engraved with  Proverbs 31;25.  “she is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at her future to come.”.

When I first got it, I fell in love with it, although I did not understand it totally.  Yea , everyone says how strong I am for doing what I do, but I didn’t understand it.  You see, I thought everyone would do it for the people they love.  Take care of them, and try to make the days better in the “ending” years.

But today, I learned something.  I am strong in certain areas, because Momma has made me be that way.  Maybe this is one of the lessons.    Dont’ get me wrong, because God is helping me more than you all know.

Today was not a great day with Momma, it was with Cam-man, and he even gave his love to Momma in his own way.  She sure perked up, when he was on the end of her bed giving her encouragement when she had her bath, and they had a “conversation about stuff”.  I was going to say sorry, but I won’t, it was to cute for words.

Sometimes at the end of the day, I give Thanks, (well I always do that), but lately, I’ve been on the “dark side” of things and truly have questions about, why does Parkinson’s rob a person of so much and make them suffer so.

But then I stop and think to myself, “Camsgranny, has this experience tought you anything?”.  And the answer to that, is oh my goodness.  It has opened my eyes too much more than I ever thought possible.  I have so much understanding of other people’s suffering, and I have more empathy than I ever thought possible, and also, It has brought an awareness to me, that if you had asked me 15 years ago, I would have felt all this, my answer would have been NO.

Parkinson’s Disease, has forever changed my life.  I will no longer look at things the same.  I can not explain it, I would not even try, but for me, this has given me a Life lesson, that maybe I should have learned earlier, but in the end, I like to think it has truly made me a better person, and given me more strength, than any person should have to find.  I am still reaching deep to find it.

There as been spiritual growth, there has been heart breaking events, but I think it is all leading up to something, and I will deal with that too.  It’s ok, especially, after putting Momma to bed tonite, she grabbed my hand, and simply stated, “I Love You Jo”.

That means the world to me, and then some.

Just another day…..

These past few days have been full, and I really haven’t had the chance to miss Cam-Man, because somehow, we have ended up with him.  Don’t take that the wrong way either, we have enjoyed every minute of it.  I’ve learned to adapt and change-up my schedule as needed.  I’m kind of liking this “new” not known schedule.

Monday afternoon, we got a call from the kids, they wanted to borrow the truck to go pick something up, but they could not fit Cam-man into the truck with them.  We told them to take the truck and leave little dude with us.  Mind you, this was after I had a really bad day with Momma.

DSCN4490DSCN4492Cam man is learning to ride his Batmobile around the yard  He has improved so much with his steering and his ability to stop and go.    He was trying to run over Papa, and he was just so cute to watch, and made me giggle a bunch.

DSCN4494Now if you look, he had a very important item to him, in the back and that was the big ball he found, and it was riding shotgun.  But, he could not figure out how to keep his “cup” on the  back, so Papa helped him out and put it in his shirt.  On the backside.  Oh the giggles that happened….

DSCN4493This is one very proud little boy, who learned how to steer, stop and go, and just drive around the yard with “freedom”.  He’s been working on this for a bit, and psst…it’s a good thing, because his Birthday is coming up and he is going to FLIP out when he sees what he’s getting.

 

Spending the evening with him was a blast.  From writing on the sidewalk and showing Papa the game he and I made.  He was so proud, it made me just smile.  He finally got Papa to take his drink out of his shirt.  And then headed for a bath, and some ice cream.

DSCN4495

Fast forward to the next day, and after taking care of Momma, I went and scooped him up (I would have taken pictures, but, uhm…Camsgranny is a little NOT techno savvy and she killed the batteries on the camera the night before).

I took Cam-man to the Park and seriously giggled a bunch.  Cam loves the park, and his Momma passed by us and she honked 3 times while going by, and Cam stopped and waved.  He was thrilled to be there and ride the swing, go down the slide and made Camsgranny climb the slide backwards to allow him to skip the puddle and slide down.  (Guess you had to be there to truly appreciate THAT statement).

We arrived home, and rode the Batmobile again, although, Cam’s Daddy surprised us and showed up early, but the Fisher Dude and I sat and watched Cam ride.  The Fisher dude was a proud Daddy, while watching Cam ride through yard.  We both cracked up after Cam stopped and “did an oil change and aired up his tires”.

The Electrician and the Fisher dude, put the “topper” back on the Electrician’s beloved S-10 truck, with Cam “helping” of course.    We sent Cam and his Daddy on their way with some pulled pork BBQ that I had made (I cooked that stuff for 2 days and it was the BOMB).  The Electrician and I settled down after 2 nights of Cam-Man in our house.

Today, with Momma was….a suprise, and a Blessing.  Wherever she has been, she is back.  The Farmer came in while I gave her a bath, and was talking to her.  The Farmer cracked a joke, and while I would like to share it, it was of a risqué nature, so I won’t, but it sure brought a  big old giggle to Momma.

Momma practically danced on her way out to the front room, and she was THERE.  That made such a difference after the past couple of days. Sometimes this journey is a roller coaster ride, you never know whether to hold onto the side of your pants or just go with the flow.

I do know, that my journey is filled, and I’m loving every minute of it.  I never know what’s going to happen, and my “daily routine” has been so switched up lately, I never know what to expect, but at the same token.  I’m starting to think it’s a good thing.

I’m seriously tired of being sad, and I enjoy the giggles so much more.  While life can throw you some curve balls, I do know that with positive attitude, and God’s grace, I am doing ok.  It doesn’t hurt, though, I’ve got some guardian Angels, and they are holding my hand.

Crash and Burn and Relite….

This morning started out with a bunch of promise.  While it is not the “usual Monday morning routine”, it started out with promise.  I didn’t have Cam-man this morning, so I woke up at normal time, and did some stuff around the house, to help myself for when I got home.  I am trying to stop neglecting the things I normally do and try to cover all of my bases.

After doing all the stuff, I do not normally do on a Monday morning, I headed out, to the Farmers.  I felt a bit lonely, because I don’t have  Cam-Man with me.  Have I mentioned that I personally don’t like change, but that I can adapt?

I arrived at the Farmers and got put out immediately.  Pfft, I am a back door daughter, and when I went to the back door, I could not open it.  The screen door was locked and I don’t have a key to the back door. Well… to be truthful, I do, but I can’t tell which friggin key it is.

So, I went back around and entered into through the front door.  The Farmer was happy to see me., but not happy, to have me tell him off ,for the back door not being open.    immediately we both checked into the situation of ordering Momma‘s stuff through a certain facility and me, uhm yup, me, not putting in the right address to have it delivered.

It was last week when we ordered it, and I may or may not been in my right mind when I typed the address into the computer, but it was something we had to deal with.   After calling and being put on hold for a ungoodness amount of minutes, we finally got through to a human and not a computer.  After telling them the situation, and them assessing the situation, we were told it would be all good.

We had no sooner hung up the phone when the drive way bell went off.   Guess what?  One of our favorite trucks, (we have 2 that we use), anyway,hat’s off to these guys simply because, they know us.  One of our favorite drivers backed into the driveway with Momma’s stuff and told us, he had looked at the name and said, “pfft, I know these people, I can deliver it”    So THANK YOU to the Fed Ex driver that delivers Momma’s supplies.  (some of them).   He covered us, and just when we needed it most.  (That’s a song isn’t it?)  I seriously do not know where my head has been at lately.

After squaring everything away and putting stuff up, and talking to the Farmer, it was time to get Momma up.  (To the Farmer, I am sorry for what I am about to say, but it HAS to be said).

Momma talked with me for the first 5 minutes, and then I am not sure where she went but she wasn’t with me.  I gave Momma her bath and cleaned her up “she had an accident”, she was upset about it, but I told her it was okay, she was giggling by then end of it, but when it was time to get her up, she wasn’t there.

It took everything the Farmer and I had to get her to stand so I could “clean her up”.  I went and got the wheel chair and we took her into the other room with the wheelchair.  When it was time to put her into her chair, that was a friggin fiasco.

I gave Momma  her Christmas goose and then some by trying to lift her up and trying to carry her into her chair.  She had so many back spasms, and neck spasms, I don’t know what to tell you.  It was HARD.

Momma has gotten so weak over the weekend, I don’t know where to start, I can’t even begin to tell you.  When Momma was in her chair, and YES the Farmer and I got her there, I put a cold cloth on her neck, took her temp, and gave her a mouth swab.

Fast forward, and she was telling me how much she loved me and the Farmer, and she was sorry.   I have a hard time with that.  Sorry folks, Why the HECK should she be sorry?  Her body is failing.  I know this, so does the Farmer.  I’m here to make it easier.  Although with the Christmas Goose she got…hell I’d be happy…..just kiddin….

Fast forward, I left the Farmer’s house crying today, simply because I have never seen momma that frail.  Somehow, it ended up with Cam-Man at my house for the evening,.  I’m not quite sure how it happened, and I am not questioning why, I just went with it.

Cam Man and I and the electrician had a most wonderful evening, and I can’t even begin to describe it into words…

There is so much happening that I am trying to wrap my head around, and I just am having a hard time with….I’m not questioning anything, I am just going with the flow at this point…..

Saturday, my style….

When I woke up this morning, I was still “flaming” after last night.  I decided I would take charge and take care of all of those things I have neglected lately.  Sometimes, I just have too much on the calendar, to take care of those little day-to-day things.

So, my feet hit the floor running, and I started a load of laundry, slugged back a couple of cups of coffee and got busy.  Camsgranny, cleaned the entire house and did 4 loads of laundry (sheets and bedding stuff included), flipped mattresses around, and FINALLY put winter clothes away and went through summer clothes.

Apparently, something happened over the winter and that “full-bodied shampoo” I use, floated on down my body when I was rinsing, and well….somethings from last year just don’t fit anymore.  It’s the shampoo, trust me!

The Electrician is all in a flutter about holding a garage sale.  Our town holds an annual Garage sale town wide, and the date is rapidly approaching.  Now to be truthful, I don’t “do’ garage sales, and this is all his puppy.  I have been following him around the house when he grabs something and says ‘Yes, we can sell this”, and  I follow tucking it  into a cupboard.  I have given in to some things, but well… I could secretly be a hoarder and don’t know it.

With my house cleaned and shiny, and groceries (that the Electrician bought) put away, we headed out to the Nurse’s house for a BBQ.  We had a great time, with most of the family there, and then the Electrician did not feel well so we both came home.  After a 2 hour nap, we are back up and at it.

We did let Ms. Baby out, and let her hang out on the porch, but when we heard all kinds of birds chirping and going off, we went outside.  Apparently, Ms. Baby was stalking a baby bird and had it pinned between her paws (she has no front claws), every bird within a 2 mile radius was dive bombing her butt, and we got her to come inside, and hopefully the baby bird has made his escape. While I feel bad for the baby bird, I understand Ms. Baby’s instincts.  She was a little forlorn and gave us extra loving, because her Daddy yelled at her.

My schedule is about to change, as the Nurse is now out for summer break, and Cam Man and I won’t be spending everyday together.  That kind of makes me sad.  I had to laugh today though, because when we were pulling up at the Nurse’s house, Cam saw his “Papa’s truck” before we had even turned the corner and had already started running.  His Auntie Boo grabbed him, and he was all smiles when we got there.  Of course the first few minutes were spent with Cam loving on his Papa, and then it was ‘Will you play with me Jo?”.    We played and Papa pulled his truck up so Cam could hang out on the tailgate of Papa’s truck.    Cam looked at me and asked “Papa Dan, he ok?”  My heart kind of melted.  I told him  “Papa Dan is ok”, then he asked about Momma, it was so cute how he said it to me.  “Jo?”, “Yes?”  “Your Momma, she ok too?”.  “Yes, Cam, she is ok too”.

His and mine schedule is changing, and I think we miss each other a bunch more than we ever thought we would.  When I stopped by his house yesterday, he was knee-deep in mud and water and having a blast helping his parents get their yard into shape, but when I was ready to go, he went up to the Rav4 and was ready to go.  It broke my heart, I couldn’t take him with me.    Today, was another of the same story.  When Papa and I had to leave, I had a little talk with him, and told him we were going home, and he had to stay and play with all the kids at his house, and to be a “big boy” and give us hugs and kisses and go play.

It worked, until we were in the truck and ready to go and then all hell broke loose, he came running and screaming up to the truck and clung to me, and said, “NO, I go with you and Papa”.  Uncle Nate came and got him, and when we drove away Grandma Sue had him and he was waving with tears in his eyes.

 

RSCN4403

What a Saturday…….I’ve also been helping a friend of mine with her journey with Parkinson’s, and trying to find ways for her to succeed in what she is doing. It’s a work in process, and still ongoing, but I will help, in any way I can.

While my mind is going 1000 miles an hour, and you can probably tell by this post, Welcome to my Saturday, Camgranny’s style….