Have you ever had just one friend in your life, who is your go-to person? Someone who has known you the longest? As a military “brat”, who transformed into an Overseas “brat”, I made friends, but left them behind each time we moved. We moved a bunch too, until we arrived in England.
In the first 18 years of my life, I believe I lived in England the longest. If y’all follow my blog, then you know I went to a boarding school. To an only child it’s like having about 100 brothers and sisters, who have never left me.
I’ve been dealing with some personal stuff lately, with one of my kids. It has been a Mother’s nightmare. Just because a child grows up, and is 30 years old, when they come to be on a “suicide watch“, it is a very scary thing. This is not the first time with this son. Hopefully it will be last time. It is a very heartbreaking situation, and I am praying so gratefully for the outcome.
My son’s father committed suicide, and when my son gets overwhelmed, or in general just feels he has done so much wrong, and cannot be forgiven, and so far down in that pit of deep despair, he feels this is his only answer.
I have clawed, prayed and fought for him. He deserves it, and he is very loveable. But sometimes he makes very bad decisions. He knows right from wrong, and he is not a bad kid. Kind of like that saying ‘When I am bad, I’m bad, but when I am good, I am great. Good kid, wrong crowd, and BAM, trouble. (Uhm, bear with me I do have a point, but I am working my way to it ok?).
I have been on a roller coaster all weekend, this past weekend being Father’s Day, and stuff, and it hit my kid hard. I kind of felt guilty in a way that I was having so much fun, while he was in such despair.
I posted on Facebook to everyone I knew, to please pray for him. I started prayer chains all over the place. Friends of mine, started prayer chains for him to. People who did not even know him, prayed for him.
I breathed a sigh of relief today, after a pretty heartbreaking discussion ( might I just say, my kid is not in the same State as I, and is also in jail and our only contact is phone and letters), My son was crying and hung up on me. He was not happy with what I said. About five minutes later, he called again, and it was as if a light switch had went off in his head, and he told me “I get it Mom. I love you and Thank you for never giving up on me, I won’t be selfish anymore, I’ve made mistakes, and I get what you’re saying. Just please, do not ever give up on me, I’m ok now, I’ve got a lot to think about, especially what you have said. I would never hurt you for the world after all you have done for me, and I was not thinking about how what I would do, would affect you. You are right, there is more to this life than what I’ve done, and I am on the way up. After all, I’m in the bottom now, and like you said I can only go up from here. Thank you Mom. I Love you, ”
After typing this, it brings tears to my eyes, simply because I was fighting with all I am, for him. Now mind you, while I had this conversation with him, I was giving Momma a bath and washing her hair, and doing what I normally do. I finished up getting Momma up and doing all the stuff I do, and headed home.
When I walked in the door, the first thing I do is check my phone. I had 3 missed calls and 2 voice mails. After by-passing the missed calls I went to the voice mails. I started laughing, belly laughing at one of my voice mails. I couldn’t help it.
One of my “former” room-mates from about 35 years ago, had left me a voice mail, that I had to laugh over. I dialed up her number and spent the next (cough) (okay, I’m busting myself out) 1 1/2 hours on the phone with. Her and I giggled, talked about life, both of our stuff, and also the reality of our situations..
She told me, that whenever she reads something on Facebook that I put out there, I am real. (Well duh, it’s life and I’m dealin), but other’s put stuff out there to make them look perfect. We discussed a bunch of stuff and have figured out that no one is perfect, but we are ready to accept and deal with what we have.
I truly spent an enjoyable time this afternoon, and the Electrician was laughing at me, because when he arrived home (I was talking on the phone baking cookies and not really paying attention to anything but my phone call), he walked in and said ‘Uhm Hello?” When I came around the corner he asked me if I knew the Air conditioning was on and the house was opened wide up. Oops….Thanks P…..
I give serious Thanks to those peeps, and ALL of you, that have helped me make it through this weekend, with my son. But I have to give a special shout out to my girl “P”. Who knows me better than most, she knew when I was ready to talk, and talk we did.
To my friend P….HOLLA….girl I love you…To the Farmer…Thank YOU for all you have done, and once again…uhm…we got a phone bill. To the Electrician, just a quick HOLLA….you know what I mean. To my son, who will not read this until about 4 years from now, Your Momma loves you with all of her heart, and I hope and pray, it will be okay….
The past few weeks for me have passed in a whirlwind. Birthdays, parties, eating out, day-to-day living. Whew. I made it. For a bit there, I wasn’t sure I would. Luckily, there isn’t another birthday for about a month, when you have 4 Birthdays, and an anniversary all within the space of the month of April and first week of May, well, it can be a little over whelming.
We started out with Momma‘s birthday, then it was the Farmer and Momma’s 32nd wedding anniversary. While it is hard to celebrate, simply because, I could not bring a cake, nor could I really give her presents, I did what I could, and brought flowers (which she loves) and an anniversary balloon (that Cam has totally had a blast with).
The next event was the Fisher Dude’s 30th birthday, his lovely wife (the Nurse) had planned a surprise party for him at Red Lobster, and about 35 + people were there. He did not have a clue, and was totally shocked.
Mind you, the Nurse had planned this about 2 months ago, and we were all in on it.
The cover story was he was meeting the Electrician and I, and we were buying him dinner. I so wish we would have gotten a picture of his face when he realized it was a party for him, because his jaw literally hit the floor.
It was such a good time, and with a bunch of friends, it was a very memorable time.
I think a good time was had by all, and it was mentioned that how would the Fisher dude “top” that as the Nurse’s birthday is 2 weeks after his. They both turned 30 this year. While he may not have “topped” his birthday surprise, he did pull off a party for the Nurse.
We all met, the family, at Monical’s pizza, and all of us, including the Nurse had a bunch of giggles. We were not the only one’s they’re celebrating birthdays, either. Apparently the other “big” party in the place was for a Grandmother’s birthday. As they were leaving, this was after the waiter brought out the cake the Fisher dude had the Electrician and I, get there early to set up everything. The Birthday girl came over to the Nurse and whispered into her ear, and then the Nurse busted up laughing, and then told us, what was said. The other Birthday “girl” (I think it was her 70th birthday), asked the Nurse, “Do you know why Tigger looked into the toilet?” The Nurse shook her head, and then heard “To look for Pooh”.
This was Cam-Man’s card to his Momma, I had posted a note to the Nurse on Facebook with Cam-Man holding this, and I think the Nurse liked it, especially, when he gave it to her.
Pizza, beer, family, Good times….Carrott Cake, call it winner, winner, pizza dinner. I think I ate enough pizza to fill me for the rest of the year.
While the past few weeks have been like a fart in a whirlwind, I loved each and every moment of it, I would not trade it for anything.
Tomorrow is Mother’s Day, and I will celebrate that too. So there will be more pictures, and happy times, Folks, have you ever just wished time could stop, so you could soak up all of your Blessings?
I truly don’t mean to brag to anyone, but I am so thankful, I have so many Blessings, simply because not all areas of my life are this happy. But I do try to find the Blessings and the happiness whenever I can. Luckily for me, I feel well and truly Blessed.
Didja ever just wish your bones did not creak as much as they do?
Didja ever wonder how, when you were a kid, time took so long to go through, and then when you got older, wonder, where did the time go?
Didja ever wonder why a wild turkey makes the sound it makes?
Didja ever wonder where that last roll of toilet paper went, that you thought you had?
Didja ever wonder what a cat really thinks when they look at you and the food bowl is full, but they want a minute of your day?
Didja ever wonder why that lightning bolt hit just in the middle of your yard, to scare the crappola out of you?
Didja ever wonder, why with so much beauty in the world, there is so much ugliness?
Didja ever wonder why, you cannot get the last spoonful of peanut butter OUT of the jar?
Didja ever wonder why sometimes you cannot sleep, when you are so tired, but sleep will not come?
Didja ever wonder at a rainbow?
Didja ever wonder at the smells, flowers give? Or fresh-cut grass?
Didja ever wonder how someone can be mean to another person?
Didja ever wonder, what it would be like if you could not be yourself anymore?
Didja ever wonder if you were being selfish?
Didja ever wonder if maybe, just maybe, there were other people who had some of the silly questions you did?
Didja ever wonder if maybe, your purpose was to bring joy to another person?
Didja ever stop to think, you could be helping someone?
Didja ever wish, that things could be normal?
Didja ever question what normal was?
Didja just wish for better all around?
My mind tonite is filled with so many questions, and so many feelings, that I feel. I don’t quite know how to express them, and someone told me, “You are a writer, what the heck?”
Guess what, there are some emotions that go through us, we do not know how to describe, we just feel them, whether they give us pain or joy, we FEEL them. Sometimes there are no words.
I’ve been on a rocky path lately and I know it. It’s ok, I’m dealin….Call me the Queen of hearts, because seriously, I feel it all. From my family to my friends, I have seen it, shared it, (with some), and tried to be “graceful” while doing it. Although to be honest, I am a bit clutzy. (I know anyone who KNOWS me is yelling, NOT you!)
I’ve been humbled in this past week, I’ve been terrified, and I’ve also had some serious giggle moments. I’m walking this path,ok, I’ll admit it, I am crawling this path I’m on. But I’m on it. But ya know what I’ve FINALLY figured out? I’m not on it on my own.
This is from my heart, I’ve been on this journey for a while, but I have a good support system, and it just got bigger, ya wanna know why? Because simply, I’m not in it alone. I have all of my readers, and I have all of my family, friends and everyone else, but ya know what? I’ve truly got God on my side, there is a lesson in this for me, and I’m searching for it, and I WILL find it.
When I first entered it, I was hoping to get at least 100 votes. I truly want to spread the word of this Disease to people. Some of you have read my post “Something hit me hard”, because I was dealt a hand by Facebook, who rectified the situation.
Can I say, that after getting 627 votes (ok, some of those were from my family), I was totally blown away. By the support, and the people (and a bunch of friends, that let me in on some secrets). It seems to me, that there are a number of people, that I know, who are affected with this Disease in one way or another, that I never knew about.
So, I guess I may have raised some awareness, at least I hope I have helped to let people know, there are many that suffer from this Disease.
Let me also say, that ending the contest as number 10, isn’t shabby either. But the only reason I was able to end up in that spot, was because of all those that voted, sometimes as many times as 6 times in one day.
So from me to you, THANK YOU, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!
Today, something hit me, and touched me in many different ways. I am involved in a photo contest on Facebook, It’s from the Michael J. Fox‘s Facebook page. It is a photo contest called, I’m curing Parkinson’s Photo Contest.
I’m curing Parkinson’s for my Momma, is my photo with me holding a card stating this fact.
The Electrician always votes the first thing in the morning, and when he went to vote this morning he could not find it anywhere. It distressed him, or basically, just kind of surprized him that it was not where it was supposed to be. It was like it was wiped totally off the internet.
When I woke up and went to find the page, I couldn’t find it either, so I tracked down the page and went to the source. I was able to vote, and then when I went to share it, I was told, I could not, due to this being reported to Facebook as spam.
Uhm, what? I will admit, at first I got mad, I mean mad. Facebook throws all kinds of things at me, that I consider spam, and I just go with it and hide it from my page. I think in my whole years I have only reported one item for spam, and that’s because it was mentally, and physically disgusting.
But then I started thinking, I share this page with ALL of my “friends” on Facebook, so has the Electrician, the Nurse, and the Fisher dude. Heck some of my friends have even shared it on their pages.
It really distressed me. I answered Facebook’s questions, and I also hit them up with a question of my own. “While this has been reported as spam, I am in a contest, for Parkinson’s awareness, and you have stated to me it is spam. My question to you, is Parkinson’s spam? Because if it is, would you kindly delete it from the millions of people who suffer from it.
My photo challenge is back up and running. Thank you Facebook.
For those of you that follow my blog, you may remember a post called “Valuable lesson”. In that post, I shared that animals must think I am a Dr. Doolittle character, because numerous animals find their way into the Rav 4. In this particular story, I told y’all about driving ever so nonchalantly to the Farmer’s house and looking down at the floor board on the passenger side, and there was happily riding along with me a mouse. I did get the mouse out of the Rav4, by pulling into the Farmer’s garage and running the vacuum cleaner all over the car. I actually never gave that poor little mouse another thought after all that was back in August of last year.
This past week, while I was taking the trash out of the house, to the garbage bin in the garage, I saw my “little friend”. I was getting ready to put the bags into the bin, when I noticed, I must have scared him/her, because it jumped out of the bin and went running to the back of the garage. While normally, I enjoy seeing “old friends”, I’m afraid I didn’t treat this one with my normal manners. I dropped the trash and went running at top speed into the house screaming the whole way. I decided, I wasn’t going to take the trash out for a couple of days.
When Momma saw me, she saw that I was a bit rattled, and I tried to explain to her about the mouse. Momma’s reaction was, “How can you be scared of Jerry? That nasty Tom is always trying to eat him”. Ok, I think the Farmer and Momma watch way to much, of old “Tom & Jerry cartoons”. I did tell the Farmer, about it, and all’s he could do was laugh.
The next evening, I got a call from the Farmer, who I could tell was highly amused about something. He was calling to ask me, on my way over to his house the following morning, would I please stop and get some “mouse killer”, apparently, Caregiver Beth had a run in with the mouse and she is even more scared of them then I am. I promised to make the stop the next morning.
However when I logged onto Facebook, I saw this message:
now that im done be scared out of my mind, im at work and I have a great job til i went to take out the garbage today, anyone who knows me, know im scared to death of mice so i hit the garage door opener walked out there and as i go in the garage a mouse falls right by my feet screamed and was trying to get out of the garage as the mouse is trying to get up the wall i swear i almost peed my pant and had a heart attack i was ready to jump on my bosses new car but i figured he would kill me so i ran as fast as i could in the house anyways so now everyone know MICE SCARE THE CRAP OUT OF ME SORRY JOANNE U GOT THE GARBAGE TIL UR FRIEND IS GONE !!!!! My night at work.
Just an update to the story, My little friend is gone. Phew…….
Hey y’all, this is me, Ms. Baby. My Mom has been having a hard time posting lately, there are to many things happening with her, and she does not want to come across all sad, and confused and stuff, so she asked me to post on her blog, so her readers would know she was still alive.
First off, this is me in the picture. I was trying to do my “sexy” pose, so I could get more treats. For some reason my Mom and Dad looked at me and laughed. How rude. Since Mom is giving me my own time on her blog there are some things I would like to address, and hope she reads this so I can get my point across.
First, if my paw touches it, it’s mine. That includes everything and if I happen to put my paw on your plate, it’s mine. Seriously.
Secondly, I think my Mom is cheating on me with some other kitties. The reason I say this, she is gone all day long, and then when she finally does get home, she has the smell of other kitties. What the heck, She is supposed to be a one kitty woman!
And another thing, I am supposed to be able to go outside in the morning and then in the evening. I usually don’t go far, just in the backyard for a couple of minutes, I like to eat the grass. I don’t like to go that far after that time the birds in neighborhood dive bombed my butt. For some unknown reason, they only let me out for about a minute in the morning and then a minute in the afternoon. Dad said something about not trying to heat the outside with our heat, whatever that means, pfft, I have a fur coat for crying out loud, it doesn’t affect me.
That’s another thing, Mom is falling off on her job of brushing me. I have a mat in my fur, what the heck is that about? I try really hard to get to all of my parts, but I may (cough, cough..uhmm…furball) have missed a spot.
I heard something too, the other day, and then that thing they use to take me out of the house showed up in the garage, which by the way is my domain. I have a window that is all mine and I sit in and guard the house for Mom and Dad. But this thing showed up and I heard whispers of the “Vet”. Now, I am here to tell you, That’s not gonna happen. I will hide under the bed and they will have no chance of getting me out. I don’t like the Vet. period.
I really don’t understand my Mom and Dad, they truly think THEY run this house. hehehe…They don’t know much. I am an alarm clock, when they sleep to late. I go in and kick them awake. I chase them up and down the stairs to make sure they stay healthy and all’s I ask for is a little treat now and then….
It’s a hard job, but I do the best I can. It’s hard taking care of these humans. Especially, since they are my Mom and Dad. But I know when they are upset, and I do my best to keep things going.
So, for all of you wondering, Mom is okay, she just needs a little break, and Dad is taking care of her, with my assistance. Don’t worry, she will be back in a couple of days and bore you to tears…..no problem… Until then, this is Ms. Baby signing off…..Thanks Mom for letting me post!
Today is Day 3 of new traditions for my house over Christmas time. Today was semi-normal, and I got up ( I may or may not have over slept). I did some things around my house, (I may or may not have played on Facebook, seriously 19 games of Words with Friends, really does take a little time).
I arrived at the Farmer’s and he was getting worried about me, because I was a BUNCH later than usual. I scooted him out the door to run and go do his errands. I checked on Momma who was sleeping peacefully. I did a few things around the house, and there was not much to do. Caregiver Beth, takes good care of the Farmer and Momma.
When the Farmer returned, I made him lunch and then got Momma up. I didn’t hang out as long as I normally do, because today I had other plans. The Farmer was a little surprised, but went with my plans.
I drove home and then got busy. I made some hot chicken wings, and some shrimp wrapped in bacon with some jalapeno’s (they were seriously good), then put together a smoked sausage and cheese tray.
The Nursing Student, and Fisher Dude with both Grand boys were spending this evening with us. They arrived, all in their p.j.’s, which was cool, because the Electrician and I were both in our p.j.’s.
The Nursing Student brought some of the food from her house, and we all chowed down first. Then? We got busy While the other night at the Nursing Student’s House, we exchanged gifts with everyone else, we had held back our gifts for the Grand baby boys, and the Nursing Student and Fisher Dude. You see, the Nursing Student wanted to start a New tradition for her boys.
The Nursing Student, and Fisher Dude (and the Electrician and I) wanted it to be a new tradition for the boys to have Christmas Eve with us, and then Christmas Day with the boys other Grandma. Kind of like spreading the wealth so to speak.
We opened gifts, and played, and just hung out together. We had so many giggles, and belly laughs that it was truly a wonderful evening. New traditions were born tonite, and I am sure there will be many more.
I do have to say something though. I received a gift this evening that meant the world to me. While I have loved everything I have received, this was a gift from the heart.
I have to back track for a minute, A couple of weeks ago the Nursing Student called and asked me when the Farmer’s birthday was. She already knew when Momma and my birthday was.
The pictures do not do this justice. I have to explain something else. When I leave the Farmer’s house everyday after taking care of my Momma, I reflect on things that have happened, giggles that were shared, and other stuff.
This beautiful thing, is to hang from my rear view mirror, It has Momma’s, the Farmer’s and my birthstones on it. And it says the following
“She is clothed in strength and dignity. and she laughs without fear of the future ~ Proverbs 31.25″
I guess I am amazed, that the Nursing Student and Fisher Dude…they truly get me, and offer me strength without even knowing it. This is going into my car first thing in the morning. I will look at this and reflect, and know, I have the love and strength of my family behind me on my journey.
I hope that all of you have the Blessings of love, because tonite, I am realizing, I sure do.
I have been nominated for the Blog of the year award for 2012…..WOWZERS!!!!
I was nominated by http://terry1954.wordpress.com. I have followed Terry for quite a while now, as we are both in similar situations. Head on over to her blog and check her out.
The ‘rules’ for this award are simple:
1 Select the blog(s) you think deserve the ‘Blog of the Year 2012’ Award
2 Write a blog post and tell us about the blog(s) you have chosen – there’s no minimum or maximum number of blogs required – and ‘present’ them with their award.
3 Please include a link back to this page ‘Blog of the Year 2012’ Award – http://thethoughtpalette.co.uk/our-awards/blog-of-the-year-2012-award/ and include these ‘rules’ in your post (please don’t alter the rules or the badges!)
4 Let the blog(s) you have chosen know that you have given them this award and share the ‘rules’ with them
6 As a winner of the award – please add a link back to the blog that presented you with the award – and then proudly display the award on your blog and sidebar … and start collecting stars…
Unlike other awards which you can only add to your blog once – this award is different!
When you begin you will receive the ‘1 star’ award – and every time you are given the award by another blog – you can add another star!
There are a total of 6 stars to collect.
Which means that you can check out your favourite blogs – and even if they have already been given the award by someone else – you can still bestow it on them again and help them to reach the maximum 6 stars!
Here are my nominations….
1. http://russtowne.com, I have followed Russ for quite sometime, and I always enjoy his posts. I’ve even re-blogged some of them….
Well, here it is Thursday afternoon, and I have been a busy little bee. Today is normally the day, I stay home and do all of those domestic diva things that I do. Then go over to the Farmer’s about 4:30-5 pm and cook the Farmer dinner, and put Momma to bed.
My list was long today, because well, let’s face it, the domestic diva thing has been in procrastination mode lately. Last night, I diligently wrote out my list of stuff I wanted to get done today. If I don’t write a list, I end up forgetting one thing or another, or lately just kind of go pfft, and blow all of it off.
So, after being “yelled” at to wake up this morning, (Ms. Baby’s food bowl was empty), I got up and got busy. First thing, a cup of coffee. Quick look at the list, and BAZINGA, I got busy.
It really is amazing how much you can get done before 9 am, IF, you don’t log onto your e-mail, stop and play about 10 games of Words with Friends, check on your “Chefville” game, and read through all of your friend’s post’s on Facebook.
I had the laundry all done, sheets washed and bed re-made, and the dusting of the down stairs all done. Whew, time for a break. I made time for a couple of the things like e-mail, and Words with Friends.
I got back at it and completely finished the downstairs, cleaning the bathroom, and vacuuming. Onto the Upstairs. Now, so many people have decorated for Christmas, but not me. I decided today, I would rearrange the living room and get the tree out and put together and let it hang out for a few days before the Electrician and I decorate it.
In the process of moving furniture and dusting and more vacuuming, I located several items that have been missing for sometime. Apparently Cam-man’s secret stash of stuff was under the couch and a few other choice places. After completing the living room and entryway, I just kept going until EVERYTHING on my list was done, right down to taking ALL of the trash out and the trash cans are at the curb, waiting for the trash dudes tomorrow. My living room and entryway are now semi-decorated for Christmas, the tree is up and waiting for the Electrician and I to get to it, and I feel good.
With everything done, I got a call from the Farmer’s and found out, I get to stay home tonite as Caregiver Beth wanted to come back and put Momma to bed. So, I finally called my cousin, and spent a good 30-45 minutes on the phone with her, (her Dad is the one who just passed). We have set up to get together soon, and have an afternoon of giggles, and fun.
All in all, while I have pushed that procrastination thing to the curb for today, I am actually pretty happy with everything I have accomplished today.
Now, I get to play the rest of the day and figure out what’s for dinner!!!