Quite a few people have asked me, “Why do you take care of your Mother, instead of putting her into a Nursing Home? Then, there was the other question, “Why did you take your Momma OUT of the Nursing home?” Then the other question “You must be a Saint or a hero or something to do all that, why do you do it?”
Why do I take care of the Farmer and Momma? Because they are my parents. Also, because the Electrician has allowed me to do this. The Electrician told me to quit my job and just concentrate on the Farmer and Momma.
When he first said this, he was on the road working away from home 5 days a week and coming home on the weekends. The only thing he asked of me was that I would be home on the weekends to spend with him. That was no problem.
Since then, the Electrician has been laid off, and while I suggested I would go back to work, he knows I really don’t want to. You see, I have a job. Up until a couple of days ago, my job was to babysit my Grandson, and take care of Momma.
Now, my job is to concentrate on Momma and the Farmer. Sure, they could hire a bunch of caregiver’s, but I honestly feel Momma responds better with me, than a stranger. A therapist at the Nursing home told me, that I had the “touch” with Momma.
I take care of Momma, because I WANT to, and also because I feel the NEED to. I’m not a Saint, or a hero, but I am a DAUGHTER.
Why is Momma not in a Nursing home? Because, when Momma was in the Nursing home, while it is a perfectly good facility, they could not care for Momma like the Farmer and I do.
Parkinson’s Disease is not something pretty to watch, or deal with. But the Farmer and I have an understanding of how Momma operates. We can both tell the sign’s of an onset, and know how to make her feel better or “safe”. Sometimes, all’s it takes to calm her down is a big hug, or a hand to hold. If it is a really big onset, then I have been known to climb in the bed with her and just hold her until she calms down. You can’t get that from a Nursing home.
For us, in our situation, it is more feasible for us to care for her at home. We have 3 different “Caretakers” that come in and help to. But quite honestly, the Farmer and I are the main Caregivers.
Is it taxing? Hell yes. Are their days we wonder why we do it? Hell yes. Are their times, when we wish we could run away? Hell no, uhm…ok Hell yes.
Somedays, I feel like a glorified housekeeper of the Farmer’s house, while I will admit, sometimes my house suffers. But I have the Electrician who is helping me through this every step of the way. When I have spent the day scrubbing the Farmer’s house and doing a million loads of laundry and I’ve cooked breakfast (although, I seriously do not ever cook the Electrician breakfast). I’ve had a rough time with Momma and I just don’t feel like doing anything around my house, I come home and my Electrician has cleaned the house, done the laundry AND made me dinner. So, basically, I’m not in this by myself. The Electrician is my Caretaker, and he really does a great job.
But ya know what it all boils down to for me? The Farmer has been my Dad my whole life, Momma has been my Momma for 31 years, the Farmer needs me right now, and I would never let him deal with this on his own. To have the Electrician’s blessing is icing on my cake.
So, why am I a Caretaker? Because I am a daughter.
Ok kids, I usually stay positive and “go with the flow” so to speak. I lead a busy life. Heck between, the Electrician, the Farmer and Momma, and Cam-Man. Well..I’m busy.
Well…today, I am announcing to the following : The Electrician, Momma, the Farmer and Cam-Man, and the World, I am on strike.
I am seriously tired of being pulled in every direction EXCEPT the one I want to go. I understand that each and every one of these people have needs and desires. I truly want to fulfill all of them, but I learned a very HARD lesson today.
Superwoman, I am not. I got frustrated by A LOT of things today. I truly want to vent, but this is not the avenue I choose. I choose, to count my Blessings, The Electrician, the Farmer, Momma and Cam-Man, and all of those other people in my life.
I also realize that I AM in charge. If I choose to let these people irritate me, well, it’s my choice. They each have valid OPINIONS, and thoughts. But in MY opinion, the older one’s need to get a grip.
Cam-Man is my Grandson. I CHOOSE to take care of him, I cherish him, and I enjoy his giggles, hugs and unconditional love.
I’m not pointing any fingers at anyone, but I CHOOSE to do what I do, I don’t CHOOSE any one over the other, and while I realize that sometimes people’s feelings get hurt. I’m sorry.
The life I lead, while it may hurt some, it means a lot to me. Am I happy that I give up so much of time? No, not all the time, but it is something I accepted the challenge for. Do I mean to hurt anyone by this, NO. Do I feel like sometimes I am taken for granted, Yes. BUT….
Sometimes, you need to look at the Bigger picture. Will something I do today, have a lasting impact on that person’s life? I am relatively young (by some standards), I love the life I lead. The only thing I am sorry for is that sometimes there are not enough hours in the day to make ALL of my peeps feel loved and cherished as I do.
There is so much going on right now, I will be able to post about it later, but right now let’s just say…I am a Caregiver to My Momma, and my Grandson, I am the Farmer’s daughter and I am the Electrician’s wife. Someday, I will make it all work until then, just call me Goofy….:)
Ok y’all, the Electrician has just informed me that my last post was “kinda gross”. But, like I explained to him, this is my journey, and that was part of my day.
I have also realised something, it’s gonna get a lot worse. But I’m in it for the long haul. Because…folk’s she may be my “step” Momma, but she’s been my Momma for 34 years, and folk’s I’m 50.
So, she’s been in my life 68% of the time. Hehe, I just asked the Electrician to figure it out. The Electrician is hanging his head and shaking it at me, yup… I flunked Math….
I don’t much like Parkinson’s Disease. But I understand it hit’s everyone different, and all of our journeys are different. But I do Know what each family has that has this disease. We have Love, faith, and we all get scared at one moment or another, and depression too.
But MY focus, that would be Momma, because if it is scary for me, I can’t Imagine how she feels.