Tag Archives: Illinois

Reality Comes back….

The past few days have been a ray of sunshine.  They have been filled with lots of laughter, hugs, and kisses.   The Electrician‘s parents aka My Outlaws  left today.  I know they were supposed to leave the day before but unfortunately, Papa got sick.  After a trip to Urgent Care yesterday morning.  Papa had bronchitis, it came on suddenly, and the Electrician and I and Mama were all worried.  He was given 3 different types of medicine, and he said when we called tonite, he was better.  I think he really just wanted to get home to his own bed.

When you are sick, and not in your own home, it makes a difference.  My MOL and I  made a Vegetable soup with some cheddar cheese bread last night and we steamed Papa’s face over the soup to help him feel better.

This morning at 6 am the Electrician woke me up, because they were packing up the car.  I went upstairs and we all had coffee together, and then finished packing up the car.  I did send them home with some frozen Illinois corn off the cob I had frozen earlier this summer, and also a couple of bags of green chili.

When it was all said and done, and the last hugs, and kisses were given, both the Electrician and I cried.  But we both know in about 4 months we will all be together again.

Somewhere in the past couple of days though, we’ve had some major worries.  We live on well-water.  That means, we have a well, and we pump the water into the house.  Two days ago, our water got kind of murky, as in brown.  Last night, we lost all water pressure.  The Electrician and I were worried.  We have lived in our house for 15 years, we’ve replaced the well pump, and the pressure tank in 15 years we have lived here we have never had this.  We were scared.

The cost, the worries, the pressure.  The Electrician is laid off right now, and we don’t have a bunch coming in.  The cost to dig a new well…. well, let me just say, we were worried, scared, nervous, biting our fingernails.

I went over to the Farmers this morning, a little later than I had said I would be, but ya know what?   I had to deal with stuff at home before I can deal with stuff at the Farmer’s.  Sorry Daddy.

Luckily for us, when they put the new pump in, they used the wrong type of fittings and the one’s the company used were galvanized, and they should have been brass.  Our fittings on the pump broke and that is what the problem was.   My pump is now working properly, and I have water, and while it still may be a little brown, the pressure is back to normal.  Thank God, because we are talking a difference of thousands of dollars to hundreds.

Momma,  well, she is doing ok.  Today was not a good day.  We have those.  You cannot  have a bunch of good days without having a bad day, and today was a bad one.  Parkinson’s has gripped her so tight today.  I seriously hate that.  But I have come to realize I have no say.

Momma did not know who I was this morning.  She was caught up in the grips of Parkinson‘s.  She had a bad dream and was scared, and while I tried to make it right, I failed.   The Farmer came in and tried to help to calm Momma down.  Sometimes the Parkinson’s brain, does not allow for anyone to help.  We did the only thing we could, gave her a kiss and left the room and told her to sleep.

I came back to get her up about an hour later, Momma was sorta back to herself.  We did her bath, but we hurried because Momma told me she had to pee, and was holding it.  I got her up and onto her potty,   I finished her bath on the potty.  I am proud of the fact, Momma went on the potty.

I’m sorry y’all, this week has been emotional in a way none of you will ever realize.  Picture this if you will….your Momma see’s you but she does not recognize you.  She thinks she knows you, but she is not sure, she is scared because of her dreams.    Be it your husband, your brother, your spouse.  It sucks.  Because while you may know them,, they don’t remember you.

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Blast from the Past….

Ok y’all, forgive me for a little reminiscing.  I came across some pictures this past week, and oh the memories they brought back to me.  I would like to share them with you.

When I first moved back to Illinois, in 1994,  I was a little broken.  I had been in an abusive marriage for quite some time, and somehow, I had lost my self-confidence, my self everything.  The Farmer and Momma took me and my two kids into their home and tried to help me heal.  (They did a really good job, just to let them know).

But that’s not what this post is about.  This is about Momma and I taking an adventure.  Back in the day it was something to go to a photographer and have a “Glamour Shot” taken.

There was an ad in the paper, that they would taking these “Glamour shots” at the mall in our town.  So, I asked Momma if she was up for the adventure and she went with me and we both had our pictures taken.

This is my beautiful Momma all “glammed” up.  But folks, she looked like this to me everyday, and in my mind she still looks like this to me.

 

 

 

 

 

Yea, this is me….I don’t think I look like that anymore, but well…a girl can dream…hehehe, the Electrician tells me I look better these days than those days.

 

And this is the Beautiful Nursing Student.  I found this picture tucked into Momma’s things.  The Electrician said he had never seen this picture, and I have to admit I hadn’t either.

 

 

 

The funniest thing to me about these three pictures, none of us are related by birth, but we are related because we are family.

 

 

 

 

Shopping on a Sunday for Chili.

I’ve been shopping today.  Ok, maybe not physically in the store, but on my computer.  However, unlike most females, I am not shopping for clothes (although I seriously need to).  I was responding to an e-mail that I received from Berridge Farms regarding Hatch Chili season 2012.

While I have lived in Illinois for about 18 years now (WOW, has time flew).  I lived in Albuquerque, New Mexico for 13 years.  I fell in love with Albuquerque, the culture, the FOOD, and the scenery.   I loved living in the city, and being able to drive to the mountains in about 20 minutes.  I spent a lot of time in the Sandia Mountains, and can actually say I did climb from the top to the bottom.  I had a run in with some rattlesnakes (both boys remember that one), But, I did not get bit, and I learned just how fast I can jump from one rock to another.

I fell in love with the various types of “chili’s”.  By far my favorite is “Hatch New Mexico green chili. If you’ve never tasted it, well, I’m sorry.  I learned how to make all kinds of special New Mexican dishes.  Carnita’s, Green chili stew, huevos rancheros, green chili chicken enchilada’s.

The smell of roasted chili, makes me feel warm all over.  Oh….uhm.. I digress.

The e-mail was sent to me because a year ago, I found their website, and with the Electrician’s approval, I ordered some.  The day when it arrived you would have thought it was Christmas.  I fired up the grill the next day (of course, it was the hottest friggin day of the year, but well, I suffered through it, although the electrician had to finish for me, because I got over heated and had to sit in the baby pool for a few minutes).  I roasted all 10 lbs, and then wrapped it up in a plastic bag and let it steam for a couple of hours.  I was in heaven, my garage smelt like green chili…  I bagged it all up, and placed it in my freezer.  I put about 6 chili’s in a bag and ended up with about 15 bags.

Unfortunately, me, with having fresh roasted green chili in the house, I used it rather quickly, so, I begged asked the Electrician if we could order another 10 lbs.  It was close to the end of the season, and I got a good deal, and so, again when it arrived I had my own “roasting party”.

When I opened up the e-mail today, it was for pre-orders for the season.  Mind you, the green chili season is usually harvested in August and ends about  the middle of September or first of October.    With our finances being a little different this year versus last year, he gave me a look.

The Chili price isn’t bad, it’s the shipping that is killing us.  So, after a lively discussion filled with laughter AND looks.  Especially when the Electrician asked me about those cans of “diced green chili” that they sell in the store and He got a straight up LOOK from me.  That’s when I asked him “YOU want those can’s versus the FRESH stuff?”  He just laughed at me.  (He knows how to rile me up).

I think we have reached a compromise though, while I ordered 20 lbs last year, and folks I still have 2 bags in the freezer, to last me until August.  This IS April right?  I think 25lbs should do it this year.

So with all that being said I did send an e-mail to Berridge Farms, asking some questions.  BUT,  I think I will place my pre-order for 25lbs.  When I receive it in late August, I will have another chili roasting session, and enjoy the smell of fresh roasted green chili.

Then I think I will make some Green chili stew, and some enchilada’s, and some tamales, and uhm…the possibilities are endless.

Don’t let the Electrician fool you though, while he may kick up a bit of a fuss, I won him over with my green chili chicken enchilada’s when we were dating.  In fact, while we were sitting at the dinner table with both of my boys and the Electrician was there, he broke into a sweat after the third bite, while me and the boys kept eating.    He’s manned up since then and can eat the “hot” stuff with the best of them.

Besides, it’s the best cure for the winter.  If you feel a cold coming on, or any kind of sickness, eat a bowl of green chili stew, you’ll be fine, trust me.

 

Roadtrip Tuesday…

Today was a little different.  Today is our long day with Cam-Man.  Momma had a doctor’s appointment though, so the Electrician went and picked up Cam-Man, and spent the day with him, while I went over to the Farmer’s and gave Momma her meds, breakfast, and then loaded her up for her “road trip”.  Momma was “excited” about her road trip.  We don’t have a wheelchair ramp yet, but the Farmer located some ramps that we used. (They are for loading up a lawnmower or such into the bed of a truck).  We made them work, and it was a nice roll out to the car.  I had been apprehensive about this part, because I was not there when the Nurses assisted Momma into the car last Friday. 

Whew, it took a few minutes but it was fine.   Off down the road we went with Momma singing and humming to the music that filled up the car.  She chatted with the Farmer and then suddenly after about 20 minutes, Momma went straight up Parkinson’s.  The type where her lips disappear, and she starts shaking.   I reached around the seat to her, I was in the back, she was sitting in the front seat, and hugged her, and tried to get her to settle down.  She calmed for a bit, but not much.  She was due another dose of medicine but not for another 45 minutes.  I think that a lot of it was Momma was out of her “friendly” environment.

When we got to the hospital, I went and got a wheelchair, and assisted Momma out of the car, with the Farmer.    We went in the elevator up to the 6th floor and into the Doctor’s office.  We got into the exam room, and seriously, I do not know what happened.  One minute Momma was ok, but when the Dr. came in she got a panic attack and stared coughing, and nose running and almost choking.  She has NEVER done that before.   We got her calmed down but it broke my heart because there were tears falling from her eyes.  Momma was scared.

All in all the appointment went well, except for me.  I had been so diligent in mixing up Momma’s meds and the appropriate amount of water to flush her tube before and after the meds, except I forgot one thing.  (Insert head smack here) I forgot the syringe.  I thought about it half way there, to far to go back and the only thing to do was finish heading down the road, but I thought that the Doctor’s office might have one (heck it’s a friggin Hospital).  The Doctor’s Nurse and the Doctor did try to find us one though, and for that I say they went above and beyond.  But unfortunately, one could not be found that was the right size.    So, off down the road we went.  The trip home, was pretty much the same as the way there, except I told Momma,  “Hey, close your eyes and snooze until we get home ok?”.  Well, I did, but she didn’t. 

I woke up before we got home, and asked the Farmer “how is she?”  “The same” was the reply.  We pulled up in the driveway, and Momma kinda sighed, I think she knew she was home.   Out of all of the “transfers” I had done today, this one was the hardest.    Momma tried to help, but at one moment I was sitting in the wheelchair holding Momma up, ok, call me crazy I don’t even know how it happened, but we got turned around and Momma ended up in the wheelchair. 

The Farmer wheeled her back up the ramps, and we were back in the house.  Momma seemed to relax a bit.  I went straight for the syringe and the meds, and promptly gave them to her.  The Farmer left again to go vote (today is Election day here in Illinois). 

While he was gone, I sat and calmed Momma down, went and threw the laundry into the dryer (that I had started this morning).  Then asked Momma how she was feeling.  I felt so bad when she started crying and said “I’m so sorry Jo, I do love you”.  I talked to her for a bit and explained to her, that I loved her too, and I only wanted to make her happy and feel comfortable.

We got that all straightened out and I asked her if she wanted to sit in her chair or go lay down and take a nap.  To which she replied, “What would make you happy?”  “Whatever makes YOU happy, will make me happy” is what I told her. 

She looked at me, grabbed my hand and then said with a little smile “I wanna take a nap ok?”  We both started laughing and I took her into her room, and laid her down in bed, tucked her in and gave her a kiss, and “sleep well ok?”

The Farmer came back and remarked at how much better she looked.    She smiled at him, and then I left.  I flew home, and joined Cam-man and the Electrician.  They were outside watering the new grass the Electrician  had planted, and then both the Electrician and Cam-Man took me to the park. 

I can’t tell how much the 3 of us laughed at Cam-Man going down the big boy slide, to a 50-year-old woman swinging on a swing right next to her Grandson.  To the Grandson and Granny riding on the thing that makes you dizzy (it just goes round and round, and man, the Electrician gave me and Cam a ride!)  We both kinda wobbled after that. 

When we got back to our house, Cam-Man had a bowl of sherbet and then the Fisher dude showed up to take Cam-Man home. 

My day has been full of loved one’s and events.  Me, I’m kinda tired.  I thank the Electrician for picking up some of my duties, and  Momma, tomorrow will be better.  To the Farmer, uhm..it was an adventure, and I promise to PACK everything that we will need in future roadtrips…to everyone else, hope your days are good too.  Night y’all

My Bucket List….

I wrote this list a few years ago,  after I had watched the Movie “The Bucket List

 I thought it was a really cool concept.  So, Here is MY bucket list:

1.  To go to a Pro- football game, The Chicago Bears vs.New Orleans Saints.  (check)  funnily enough in the later years I became a Saint’s fan.

2.  Go to a College Basketball game.(check,  Illinois vs. Iowa  AND  my seat got picked to come down at half-time and shoot baskets for money $25.00 a basket…okay uhm, I’m 4’11’ and this was a full court basketball, I made $25.00, AFTER they moved the spot I was to stand at to RIGHT underneath the basket.(I’ve never played basketball ok), BUT what a memory…..Those guys are seriously TALL…

3. To go on a Cruise. 

4.  To Parasail.

5.  Swim in the Ocean. 

6.  Go zip-lining in a jungle.

7.  Go to a country I have Not been to before.

8.  Go to New York City.  (I’ve been to JFK airport and this does not count)

9.  Go to a Nascar Race, and see Jimmy Johnson.    (check), at the Indy race a few years ago AND Jimmy Johnson won!  Although, the hubbs and I left before the race was over, and went to uhmm… Sybaris, for a romantic evening but we watched the last few laps in the room.  BUT technically I WAS there.

10.  Go to a concert.  (check)…Hootie and the Blowfish, WHAT a concert…. there were  a couple more but that was the last one.

11. Watch the sunrise with my husband.   (check), we got up early one morning and sat on the porch drinking coffee, just because it wa on my list.

12.  Go to Canada, and sightsee.

13.  Go to my High School Re-Union.

14.  Learn something new, like another language.

15.  Laugh until I pee my pants.  (check), the hubbs saw this and said “Oh Yea, I can do this”.  He did.

16.  Go to the Southbeach Food Festival.

17.  Try some of the restaurants on Diner’s Drive-ins & Dives.   (check)  We went to “The Shed” in Mississippi, Man, was that some GREAT BBQ….

18.  Meet someone famous.  (check), while I was working at Steak-n-Shake,  Jerry Van Dyke came in for a good ole Steakburger, and I Waited on him and got his autograph.  Plus, I have also met Kurt Russell, but that was back when I was 16 and in Austria.

19.  Live each day to its fullest.   (still working on it.)

20. Go to Mardi-Gras in New Orleans. 

21.  Attempt to write a novel.

 There is more on my list, but this is the part I will share with ya’ll.  I am getting closer to finishing some things, and as I cross some off, I am always adding more.  Do you have a bucket list?

Name Carrier….just a thought.

This is not really what I had originally planned to post tonite, but then I started thinking about it all through out today.

I am part of a family, but…I am the last in my line of name carriers.  When I got married, I gave up my last name.  It has never changed who I am because I was born with my name.  Does that make sense? 

I was thinking about my family name today, especially when I hear the name “Grandma Burwash”, because it always brings to my mind MY Grandma, not my Mother. 

You see, My Grandma, had 2 kids, my Dad and my Aunt.  My Aunt got married and hyphenated her name, but her children have their Father’s name.  My Dad had me, an only child (ok, I really guess I broke the mold and swore him off of having any more kids…hehehe).

I got married and changed my name.  So, that leads me to thinking.  Although my children, are 1/2 Burwash’s, they have their Father’s last name.  So, I guess that means I am correct that my family name ended with me, in this line of our family.

This makes me sad, I’m not sure why, and I can’t really explain it.  We have a family member that is in “charge” of our family “tree”, I guess every family has one of those, my husband’s family has one and has extracted all kinds of information from me, so our lines will be crossed.

I guess, as I have been getting older, certain things have become more aware to me.  My question is this, When my descendants are around long after I am gone, will  they know my family and all of its rich colorful history?  Of the Farming, and hardships my Great-Great-Grandparents, Great-Grandparents and Grandparents have known?  

Will they know that the Saturn Car Dealership in Champaign Illinois was once  my Uncle Art’s Farm,   That I remember the Farmhouse and the Tree outside that I climbed as a child, or the fact that Uncle Art only had a thumb on his hand because his other fingers were taken off in a corn picker?  That the tapes the Farmer has of my Grandma and her brother Uncle Art talking about when they were kids, walking in the snow to school, and all of their escapades.

Maybe…as we get older….we appreciate what our family has gone through before us.  I know I sure do.  I miss my Grandma, I miss her telling me always it would be a brighter day tomorrow,  and eating a dinner of popcorn on Sunday nights, cuz well that’s just what we did.

I guess I am just feeling a little sad, because folks, I am the last of my line as the name carrier.  I am proud to carry my name, and if I could figure out how to carry my name with my husband’s name and not spending a million dollars to do it I would.

But…let me say this….I was born a Burwash, I am a Burwash and I will carry that name throughout my entire life and be proud.

 

TWO WEEKS! Bucket List

Two weeks, and counting.  The days on the Calender are slowly getting marked off one by one.  Normally I don’t do this.  Momma has a Calender at the Nursing home with a bunch of smily faces on it for each day she does good.

My Calender is different though.  I have a Bucket List that I’ve had for a few years, and I’ve been marking things off as I get them accomplished.  Little things, like swimming in the Ocean (check), watching the sunrise and sunset (check) (check), going to my first Professional Football game (Bears – check), going to a concert (check), and a lot more other things that are slowly getting checked off.

But one of MY major things, is something I wished for since I was about 13 years old, when my Grandmother went for a Cruise around the world.  I can’t remember exactly how long the Cruise was but she sent me postcards from every port-of-call that they stopped in.

Now, mind you, by the time I was 16, I had been to so many different countries, that my Passport is still a treasured item with all the stamps from foreign countries.  But, I had flown, to most of them and have never had the opportunity to go on a Cruise. 

Well, that’s not really true.  I had paid for my “first” cruise when I moved back to Illinois, I was going to go on one with My cousin Tracey and her mom Barb, and another friend, but at that time, the Electrician and I were getting pretty serious and I opted not to go.  So, I took my refund and held onto hope that EVENTUALLY I would be able to go on a Cruise.

Guess what FOLKS, I got my wish.  Yup, here in a few, this woman is going on a 7 day cruise, to Jamaica, the Cayman Islands, and Cozumel Mexico, with some truly cherished peeps.  Yes, the Electrician, his sister Mary and my Outlaws, will be boarding the Ship (I’ve been told NOT to call it a boat), for 7 blissful days of EATING, cruising and being Happy in the Sun.

I’ve been to the Sewing Alteration lady to have dresses re-sized (thanks to the College student who gave me a dress) AND, I had my wedding dress shortened so I could wear it as an evening gown.  Been shoe shopping for some KILLER shoes to match all the Evening wear.   I got my hair did today, with some awesome highlights too.  Went through all of my clothes to decide what to take and what not to take. 

I can’t even begin to explain all the time I have poured over the web-site to see about the “excursions”.    I’m thinking that “Zip-Lining” is in order in Jamaica.  I’ve ALWAYS wanted to try it and I think it would be fun. 

I’ve lined up the cat-sitter for Ms. Baby (and a back-up just in case).  Folks, seriously after everything I have gone through in the past month I can not begin to explain how excited I am to be able to do this trip.  The Plus side, I get to spend about 13 days with some of the other people I cherish.  Plus, I know that the Farmer and Momma will be okay.  Momma is making progress, and I think the Farmer is happy to see me so excited about something.  The past month has been hard, on both of us.  I only hope he can find something to be so excited about and feel the excitement of a little kid again.  Cuz folks, I FEEL like a little kid again, with my nose squished up against the store window, wanting to see and do everything.

Now mind you, My outlaw Father-in-law has told me many times in the past few days while phone-calls are flying between his house and mine, that I’m not really going, and they will leave me behind.  I’ve got his ticket already printed out….I told him I could lose it…wink, ya know what I mean? Just kidding Poppa!!!!

Have you ever felt like you were a little kid, and getting a wish come true….well, I feel like a little kid with a WHOLE candy jar…..and man I am excited….

 

Scary Friday, Hospital Friday

This post is from the heart.  I have just had one of the scariest days in my life.  After I posted on here and shut down the computer and went and bought some Gatorade for the Farmer and  Momma, I hit the road.

I got to the Farmer’s and he was still laying on the couch still a little bit weak from the flu.  I went and checked on Momma, and got nervous.  She had thrown up again, and did not look so good.  I went in and talked to the Farmer for a few minutes when I heard a sound from her room.  Let me digress for a minute, but if you’re a Mother and your kid makes a sound don’t you go running?  I think in this case the daughter has become like a Mother.   I ran into Momma’s room and yanked her into a sitting position and she threw up, and then told me she was having chest pains.  That was the last time she talked until late this afternoon.

I told the Farmer to call 911, and we got an ambulance there ASAP.  However, the fire truck showed up first.  Ok, color me silly, but we needed an AMBULANCE and not a FIRE TRUCK.  But forgive me for not knowing the protocol.  And I’m here to give a “shout out”  to the Bismarck, Illinois Fire Dudes.  THANK you from the bottom of my heart.  They whisked Momma into the ambulance and the Farmer rode with her and I followed in my Rav 4 after making a kitty count (to make sure no one escaped while the door was open), and to lock up.

I flew to the Hospital, and WHY is it when you are in a hurry, you hit every frickin red light, and can’t fly down the road, man I wished I had a siren on my car.   They were hooking Momma up to all kinds of equipment and she was scared, (the Farmer looked a little bit nervous too).  I held Momma’s hand and so did the Farmer through most of the morning, but things seemed to drag on and on and on. 

They took Momma for some tests and other stuff and brought her back to the ER, when the nurse came in and told us she was being admitted into the ICU.  When they said ICU and asked about a DNR order, the Farmer lost it, sort of, I have noticed and he admitted it today, he doesn’t hear so well.  I kinda freaked out and set them straight.  But at the same time, I was freaked out.

About that time the Nursing Student came to the ER and brought some coffee for me and the Farmer.  She went in and saw Momma (it is her Grandma), and sat for a bit.  I went outside and called the Electrician, who made me focus and not fall apart (Thanks Babe).

I came back inside and asked if they needed the Farmer there anymore, and the Nurse said no, but someone would have to be there to answer questions in the ICU, so I took the Farmer home, feed him scrambled eggs and toast and put his butt to bed.  I flew back to the Hospital.

Now I believe in alot of things, but Momma has some Guardian Angels, as do I, and I personally think, they are all at work right now.  Let me explain.  The Transporter in the hospital is my Niece-in-law, as in she is my Son-in-law’s niece. (She’s Family).  Momma’s Nurse in the ICU tonite, is Cory, the niece’s boyfriend (He’s pretty much Family).  So, I am comforted in that.

I went back to the ICU and Momma was very scared.  I know this because I know how she acts.  I answered all of Cory’s questions, and then proceeded to calm Momma down, I whispered in her ear that I loved her, and I knew she was scared, but that we had brought her to the hospital so that she could feel better.  She squeezed my hand and kissed me and told me she loved me and then went to sleep. Not the restless sleep, but a peaceful sleep.  I whispered to her Dad & I would be in to see her in the morning and she smiled.

Although by the time her primary Doctor consults with her neurology Doctor she may be transported to another town tomorrow.    No one can tell us what happened, there were whispers of a stroke, and other things but at this particular moment I don’t think anyone is sure.

As for the Farmer, I called him when I got home, and he’s worried, but ok, because he knows Momma is getting better care than he nor I could give her, and hopefully he sleeps good tonite.

As for me….I’m having my meltdown later.  I think I’m really ok, just scared, but like the Farmer, I know she is getting good care right now and that’s all I can ask.  The rest is up to God, and her Doctors.  All of your prayers are appreciated tho.

On a side note, the post about the bathroom will come about but I just had to share a little bit of my evening.  I asked the Electrician if we could order a pizza to be delivered, because leftover’s did not sound good, and I’m just not in the mood to cook.  He said sure.  So, I asked him “what kind?”  he replied with “sausage biscuit and gravy”…uhh…what??????

So, I guess we all are a little bit rattled…..

Feeling yer age….

I guess I have been feeling my age lately.  I have a lot of memories flooding over me as my birth “golden” anniversary is in the semi-near future (ok it’s a lot closer than I want to admit).

I get tired easier, I take vitamins, well…you know….

I really never put a thought to what age means.  Some people mature on different levels, or so I’ve always been told.  And truly up to this point I’ve never given it any thought.

Alot of my friend’s and classmates, fellow dormies, have achieved that “golden” age and they appear to be okay, so why am I having such a hard time with it?

I guess, because I don’t really wanna get old.  Maybe because I don’t think I have ever really grown up.  Well really, I was 4 feet 11 inches tall when I was 16, and I am STILL  4 feet 11 inches tall (Oh GOSH am I shrinking?…that comes with older age.)  Maybe because when my Dad says my name I still feel like that lil’ girl in trouble for something……or maybe not.

Because maybe I’m not in the same “shape” I was when I was say 20 or so, ok so some things have spread further than others.

The fact that I am a Mother, well….THAT makes me old, sorta, it certainly gave me some grey hairs.  (Thanks, to all of you!).  I’m really glad I have a GREAT hairdresser who colors my hair so none of those grey ones pop up, (ok so I might wait a little long and go in with that “skunk stripe”)  But she takes care of me.

I think what REALLY scares me about my upcoming birth anniversary is what I did to the Electrician for his “Golden Anniversary”, especially when he told me  “paybacks are hell woman”.

So for tonite I will STOP thinking about my natal anniversary and remember that I had a FANTASTIC day with Momma, but that is another post for a different day.  My day had it’s up’s and downs, just like every day does.  It’s the road not everyone travels.

you can choose yer friends but not yer family…

See this?  Well this was in the year 1979, the year I graduated.  This would be my cousin Tracie Anders Collins.   She flew all the way from Illinois to England, to watch my happy butt Graduate from High School.  It was an experience to her and daily living for me.  You see, I had grown up in England, and she grew up in Illinois with her family (my cousins and my Grandma).

Tracie and I were pen-pals for so many years I can’t even begin to explain.  She lived in the town and grew up in the town that I now live in.

Over the years Tracie and I have kept in touch, she’s part of my “heritage”, and I love her dearly.  Today, my cousin Tracie finished a 60 mile walk for Cancer.  She did it because so many of her class-mates have got the disease and died from the disease…Tracie, came to visit this past summer.  She came back to her childhood home, which the Farmer bought and now lives in.  I think it was kind of wierd to her, I completely understand that…..

We had a short visit that I think we both wanted a little more out of but, time has it’s way with us…huh…She had to visit so many people in the small amount of time that she had, and I am thankful for the time we had together.  The last time I saw her…

Was 1985…gosh Tracie, we are getting old….  Her baby was new…now she is all grown up with 2 babies of her own….Where does the time go?

Basically this post is to tell my relative…the would be you Tracie…how Proud I am of you on your accomplishment.  In Tracie’s own words….

“I made it but can’t walk,
Muscles, legs did good. But, have blisters on 7 of 10 toes. Won’t post pictures. Going to lose at least 3 toe nails. Barb was a true friend and my hand through the whole walk. She is remarkable. Thank you Brandy and Patrick for being at finish line. Thank you TIM for babying me. Thanks Bev for spoiling us. Thanks Courtney for inspiring me. Thanks Cheryl for being my hero. Thanks ALL for your prayers and support” 

This woman just walked 60 miles for a cause she believes in and THAT inspires me…..

Love you Tracie…:):)