Tag Archives: Momma

Hey Y’all….

Hey Y’all…How are all of you doing?  While I have had my blog going on 3 years now, I used to post daily.  After the first year, I still posted daily and was a proud member of the Post a day, I did it for the first 2 years of my blog.  Somehow…life seemed to get in the way, and I quit laying down all the words on paper (so to speak).

Somewhere along the way, some things got to painful for me to write down anymore.  You see, if I write them, that makes them real.  Maybe I have been running from them, or maybe I just don’t want to “share” that part of me.  I’m not sure of the answer.

Lately, I feel, I have been on “overload”, and no one seems to understand it, least of all me.  I’ve been mean to my husband, I’ve been mean to the Farmer, and I’ve cried buckets.  Sometimes, I feel so torn in every direction, that somewhere along the line, I “lost” me.

Yes, I am the daughter of a Parkinson’s Momma, yes, I am the Farmer’s daughter, yes, I am the Electrician’s wife, Yes, I am Momma to the kids.  Yes, I am “Jo” to Cam-man.  But lately, I’ve  wondered, who is Jo?

I had kind of “AHA” moment this morning at Church, and the sermon filled my heart.  But after hearing it, I went on and was mean to the Farmer, of which I apologize for.

Sometimes, things hit me and I do feel on “over load”, there is so much I feel compelled to do, and not a lot of people understand it.  I don’t understand it, and it’s  me.

I feel guilt in my heart, for things I’ve done recently, and I don’t want to be the nasty person I am and can be.   I can only hope that the Farmer and the Electrician can understand me, they know me the best.

It’s not an easy road I walk, I try to balance everything and everyone, and do the best that I can.  Sometimes I fall short of everyone else’s expectations.    But I guess I will say to them, I am me, and I am doing the best I can with what I know.

I do know in my heart, I am meant to take care of Momma, and give her peace, when peace is sometimes hard to achieve. There are times, when I could just curl up and give, but I won’t, because Momma needs me right now, and I’m sorry to the rest of my family, that may have to do without me at certain times, and may have to do things for themselves.  But honestly, we are all in this thing together.  All’s I ask, is that you work with me.

I have joy in my day, at different times.  But I have also learned the hard way, I need time to myself, to just be me, if that means staying in my p.j.’s all day and not doing anything, then that is what I need.  I, as a Caretaker, am really good at taking care of everyone else, but taking care of me?  Nope, not so good at that.  I’m not complaining, really I am not, I am just trying to explain to those around me, (and they read my blog), that maybe, I might need a little bit of extra care, or maybe even just a “Thank you” and some appreciation.  Goodness, knows I appreciate all of y’all.

Sometimes, being a Caregiver is a hard thing, but sometimes, the Blessings outweigh the bad, and maybe I am just going through a rough patch right now, who knows.

Sometimes, I am so confused by the roller coaster of emotions that I go through on a daily basis, that my whole insides are overturned and then some.  Some days are a giggle fest, other’s are a crying fest.    This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and yes, while I am learning a bunch, I hurt a bunch too.  I’m trying my best not to be a wimp, and maybe my reflex is to be mean, that’s not right either.

Someone told me the following:  “Sometimes, the hardest lessons hurt the most…” True. And they often teach the most.

I’m learning a bunch right now, but that doesn’t make any less painful……

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Guest Post….My Sisters….

DSCN0434Hey y’all.  Yes this pic is an old one, simply because our “big” sister, hasn’t taken a new one and she fell back on the oldies but goodies reel.

Our “other sister” Ms. Baby has gotten to post on the blog, so we felt we should be able to as well.  So here, goes.

I’m the one on the left, and my name is Goldie, although recently Momma has called me Ginger, (which should have been my name, but well what can I say?)  My Momma named me, as I am technically her kitty.    The one across from me ( my bigger sister), is named Spice, and she is the Farmer’s kitty, aka spoiled rotten.

Things around our house have changed lately, and we wanted to add our pawthinking into the mix.  This is our Momma’s chair, that we are both guarding.  We do it well don’t we?    When our big sister first came around, me and Spice were not to sure about her.  Yea, she saved us that cold night and begged the Farmer to put us into the shed.   Which he did, simply because she had a cat at HER house, named Ms. Baby,   But the “big house” was ruled by someone named Toots…   Apparently,

tootsHe lived in the house, and Goldie and I (Spice) were delegated to the “show room”.  Until one day, Toots, went over the “Rainbow Bridge”, and me and my sister came to live in the “Big House”.

When we first came to live in the “big house”, it was new and things were strange. We’ve gotten over that, and now WE own the joint.

Some odd things have been happening lately though, and we need to let y’all know.  While our Sister, keeps cooking the bacon and eating it, Wednesdays are our favorite.  You see, Dad goes to his Wed. thing, and Sis watches us and Momma, and at the end of the night we get chicken.

Our Big Sissy, is such a sucker, she cooks stuff and always gives us whatever she has cooked.  But on Wednesdays, the Farmer (aka Dad) brings home Lee’s Fried Chicken, and Sissy is such a sucker, she gives us at least one of her pieces of chicken.   Hey, we are not complaining.

Lately though, me, (Goldie) has taken a liking to hanging with my Mom, in the chair, in the bed, just wherever she is at.  My sis Spice freaked out my big sissy Jo today,  simply because, we were all over Momma today, we both loved on her, and sat with her, and slept by her side.

We love our Momma, and know she has some problems, but we are here with her and it is all “purrfect”. We like “The Big house” but we love Momma even more….

Days are Days…..

Sometimes, when you have dealt with something for so long, the days just melt into each other.  Some days are good, some days are bad, and some days just stand out.  Sometimes, you just get up and deal with the day, as normal.  But sometimes days are not normal, they are unique.  I don’t know everything, trust me here.  I am basically flying by the seat of my pants.

While today started out normal, it changed into a unique day for me.  Not much was out of the normal scope, but I have learned to adapt.  I’ve learned to look for the little things, and find something special about every day.

I am Blessed by the amount of friends that I have and the amount of support I have.  When I look at my situation, I have come to the conclusion, I can either wallow in self-pity, or I can look at everything with different eyes, and learn to cherish things.

My Momma is Stage 5 Parkinson’s and it ain’t pretty in any way shape or form. I’m learning that sometimes, the best times are the worst.  Don’t get me wrong here.  I’m not promoting bad times, I’m simply saying that this is a debilitating disease, but I have learned strength, and grace.  I have learned this through my Momma, who has shown, while this disease is robbing her of some of life’s most important things, she has shown me Grace in accepting them.  She has shown me strength by trying with everything she is to over come them and still find a moment to giggle at circumstance.

God gave Momma to me, and I’m still trying to figure it out, but I would not ever turn my back on this journey.  She is teaching me so much, and I am teaching her at the same time.  She has learned my voice, (after  32 years, you would think we both would figure out, God gave us to each other for a reason).  She gets upset at so much these days, and between Dad and I, she calms down.

When I get her up and bath her and then Dad comes in, her face lights up when he says ‘Hi”. then the conversation turns to the 3 of us.  My heart is Blessed so much and there are times I could just lose it, simply for the love in the room.

This is by far the hardest thing I have ever done, but to know that I have God on my side, and also, the support of all of my family and friends makes it bearable.   When God wants to bring Momma home, so be it.  I can only hope her days on earth have brought her happiness and comfort.

For me?  My journey still continues….there is so much I thought I knew, that I didn’t.  I’m still learning.  The lesson’s still continue, and I have an open mind and heart.

Sometimes, the hardest lessons hurt the most…..

Good news….

Today was not my normal day to go over to the Farmer’s to help with Momma, but Caregiver Beth had something she had to do, so, I did it.    I did the normal Saturday stuff at my house and then went on down the road.  When I got there, I did some of the stuff I normally do, and then went into the kitchen to make the Farmer lunch.  I noticed something right off the bat, and went into the front room to question the Farmer.

Now, I have to back track a little.  A few weeks (ok so it maybe a month or so) ago, I “borrowed” the Farmer’s Kitchen aide mixer .

kitchenaide

I kinda fell in love with it, simply because I make cookies every week, sometimes twice a week (batch for the Electrician and 1/2 a batch for the Farmer and 1/2 a batch for Caregiver Beth).   Plus, I’ve made some cakes and bread too.

The Farmer asked me last week, if I would please bring back his mixer, and his mixer wrote the Farmer a note, it said ”  Dear Dad, Please don’t worry about me, I am getting exercise, and I have a prestigious position on my sissy’s counter,   I am enjoying my time here, and sissy says she will bring me back home soon.  Love, Your mixer”.

I seriously had good intentions to bring the mixer home this week.  But when I noticed everything re-arranged in the kitchen, I asked the Farmer what gives?  He told me he had a surprise and I would have to wait until Monday to find out what it is.  Pfft…..SERIOUSLY????

I quickly informed him, I would bug the $hit out of him until he told me what it was, and I did too.   Amid a bunch of giggles, he finally gave in and  told me, the mixer could stay at my house.  WOOHOO, double back flips.  Apparently, the mixer had expressed it’s desire to stay at my house, and The Farmer, complied.  Although I will not tell the mixer, it’s been replaced, by a “newer” version.  I don’t want to hurt its feelings.

In all honesty, Thanks Dad! from the bottom of my heart.  I’ve grown quite attached to the “mixer” and I really did not want to bring it home.  It’s found a new home on my counter.  I’m sure, your new mixer will find its new home a happy one, and I will use it and so will you.

Momma today was surprised to see me, although I had told her yesterday, I would be there to get her up.   She rallied and was full of giggles when I finally got her cleaned up and ready for the day.   It was fun for me to see her on a day I normally would not.

I did have to laugh, when I was getting ready to give her a round of meds and she was “reading” the paper.  I asked her about the story she was so intensely reading.  She told me about it, funny though, the paper was upside down.  Hmmm, I had already read the paper, and she was correct in her telling of the story.  Can people read things upside down?  I don’t know for sure if they can, but Momma did.

All in all it’s been a good day for me, and I’m so thankful for those. Sometimes, its little things that our parents do for us, and we do for them, that are the best.

Love ya Daddy, and Momma too.  Just so the rest of my family does not feel left out, I love y’all with all that I am, and then some……

 

Nostalgic….. and the Power of prayer…..

Have you ever had just one friend in your life, who is your go-to person?  Someone who has known you the  longest?  As a military “brat”, who transformed into an Overseas “brat”, I made friends, but left them behind each time we moved.  We moved a bunch too, until we arrived in England.

In the first 18 years of my life, I believe I lived in England the longest.   If y’all follow my blog, then you know I went to a boarding school.  To an only child it’s like having about 100 brothers and sisters, who have never left me.

I’ve been dealing with some personal stuff lately, with one of my kids.   It has been a Mother’s nightmare.  Just because a child grows up, and is 30 years old, when they come to be on a “suicide watch“, it is a very scary thing.    This is not the first time with this son.  Hopefully it will be last time.    It is a very heartbreaking situation, and I am praying so gratefully for the outcome.

My son’s father committed suicide, and when my son gets overwhelmed, or in general just feels he has done so much wrong, and cannot be forgiven, and so far down in that pit of deep despair, he feels this is his only answer.

I have clawed, prayed and fought for him.  He deserves it, and he is very loveable.  But sometimes he makes very bad decisions.  He knows right from wrong, and he is not a bad kid.   Kind of like that saying ‘When I am bad, I’m bad, but when I am good, I am great.  Good kid, wrong crowd, and BAM, trouble.  (Uhm, bear with me I do have a point, but I am working my way to it ok?).

I have been on a roller coaster all weekend, this past weekend being Father’s Day, and stuff, and it hit my kid hard.  I kind of felt guilty in a way that I was having so much fun, while he was in such despair.

I posted on Facebook to everyone I knew, to please pray for him.  I started prayer chains all over the place.  Friends of mine, started prayer chains for him to.  People who did not even know him, prayed for him.

I breathed a sigh of relief today, after a pretty heartbreaking discussion ( might I just say, my kid is not in the same State as I, and is also in jail and our only contact is phone and letters),  My son was crying and hung up on me.  He was not happy with what I said.  About five minutes later, he called again, and it was as if a light switch had went off in his head, and he told me “I get it Mom.  I love you and Thank you for never giving up on me, I won’t be selfish anymore, I’ve made mistakes, and I get what you’re saying.   Just please, do not ever give up on me, I’m ok now, I’ve got a lot to think about, especially what you have said.  I would never hurt you for the world after all you have done for me, and I was not thinking about how what I would do, would affect you.   You are right, there is more to this life than what I’ve done, and I am on the way up.  After all, I’m in the bottom now, and like you said I can only go up from here.  Thank you Mom.  I Love you, ”

After typing this, it brings tears to my eyes, simply because I was fighting with all I am, for him.  Now mind you, while I had this conversation with him, I was giving Momma a bath and washing her hair, and doing what I normally do.    I finished up getting Momma up and doing all the stuff I do, and headed home.

When I walked in the door, the first thing I do is check my phone.  I had 3 missed calls and 2 voice mails.  After by-passing the missed calls I went to the voice mails.  I started laughing, belly laughing at one of my voice mails.  I couldn’t help it.

One of my “former” room-mates from about 35 years ago, had left me a voice mail, that I had to laugh over.  I dialed up her number and spent the next (cough) (okay, I’m busting myself out) 1 1/2 hours on the phone with.  Her and I giggled, talked about life, both of our stuff, and also the reality of our situations..

She told me, that whenever she reads something on Facebook that I put out there, I am real. (Well duh, it’s life and I’m dealin), but other’s put stuff out there to make them look perfect.  We discussed a bunch of stuff and have figured out that no one is perfect, but we are ready to accept and deal with what we have.

I truly spent an enjoyable time this afternoon, and the Electrician was laughing at me, because when he arrived home (I was talking on the phone baking cookies and not really paying attention to anything but my phone call), he walked in and said ‘Uhm Hello?”  When I came around the corner he asked me if I knew the Air conditioning was on and the house was opened wide up.  Oops….Thanks P…..

I give serious Thanks to those peeps, and ALL of you, that have helped me make it through this weekend, with my son.  But I have to give a special shout out to my girl “P”.  Who knows me better than most, she knew when I was ready to talk, and talk we did.

To my friend P….HOLLA….girl I love you…To the Farmer…Thank YOU for all you have done, and once again…uhm…we got a phone bill.   To the Electrician, just a quick HOLLA….you know what I mean.  To my son, who will not read this until about 4 years from now, Your Momma loves you with all of her heart, and I hope and pray, it will be okay….

Guest post…..AGAIN…

DSCN4162Hey y’all, it’s me…Ms. Baby, or as Mom calls me, “Fat cat”.

I’ve had a very productive day.  My Mom stayed home with me today, well she did go out for a bit, but it was okay, I was ready for my nap by then.

My Mom was still asleep after my Dad left this morning.  He told me to let her sleep, so I did, for a bit.  How long does a Momma need to sleep for?  I went in and woke her up, because I wanted some food, and cuddles.

Mom goofed around and did something called “cleaning”, but her and I took time out today to have some cuddles.  She washed the sheets on the bed, and we had our favorite game, I “helped” her make the bed with clean sheets.  I like how they smell.

Around noon or something like that, I wanted to go outside, so Mom let me out, and I noticed something.  Every bird in the neighborhood was visiting our middle hanging plant on our porch.  I laid underneath it, not quite sure what was going on, and Mom kept her eye on me.  Something was happening.

Mom said the birds were singing, because of an “event”.  Whatever that means.  This evening, I went outside again, and got busted in the garden by my Dad, he made me come inside, and I heard Mom and Dad talking.

Apparently the robin bird that has made her nest ON MY PLANT on the porch, had her babies tonite.  Mom said she looked from the top of the deck and there are 2 little baby birds in the nest.

Hmmm….I may have to lay underneath the nest for a bit, baby birds have to fly sometime, and I’ll be waiting.  Okay, who am I kidding, My Mom and Dad will have my skin, if I do something to a baby bird, but it might be fun to be a “God mother” or something…….

 

Taking a Minute….

I think some one has hit the fast forward button on my life at the moment.  Sometimes, I don’t know if I am coming or going, if I’ve already been there, or if I have yet to get there.

Today, was another long day for me, and I have one more and then, gasp, I may have a whole day to MYSELF, and just enjoy the heck out of it.  Ok, for those of you that know me, you are already laughing KNOWING, it won’t go that way, but a girl can hope can’t she?

Please, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE what I do.  I take care of my Dad and my Momma and my Grandson too, but sometimes, I feel overwhelmed, and see things going by at a rapid rate.  I like to slow down and at least enjoy the moments.

I had to laugh at one part of today.  Cam and I were on the way to Papa Dan’s, and now that Cam has started “driving” so to speak, he wanted to know where we were.    He pointed out to me the “Watter” and also he knew where the cows were.  But he got confused because we went the back roads, country way instead of through town.    He made me giggle, when he constantly asked me “Jo?  Corn or beans?”  After explaining to him the difference and what they looked like, I let it go.  But on the way home, he pointed out to me the difference between the corn and beans, and I simply had to giggle.  Little Dude is only 3 now, and he is learning. (I will expand on the statement about my 3-year-old grandson driving on another post.)

After dropping Cam-Man off at his Momma’s and visiting for a bit. I have to digress for a minute and  have to say, the Nurse came over and had coffee with me yesterday morning, before I went to Papa Dan’s and I so enjoyed, just sitting on the back porch, chatting , watching Cam in the Sand box, and just peace all around us.

I seem like I am all over the map, but that is because my mind is going 1000 miles an hour and I am trying to grasp everything.  Could someone just please push the pause button.

Ok, back on track.  When I went back to Papa Dan’s tonite, Momma was just pure joy to be around.  She did everything she was supposed to and arrived in her bed, with giggles.  Somewhere along the line, she got upset.  When I came back after dumping her trash, she was in tears, and when I asked her what was the matter, she asked me “Did I get you into trouble?”  “Uhm, No Momma, it’s me Jo”.  She looked at me and then went on with some story her mind had made, and thought she had gotten me into trouble.  After a few more minutes of talking to her, she looked at me, and said “I remember you, you are my daughter right?”, “Yes, Momma, I am your daughter, Joanne”.    With everything right in her world again, she calmed down, and held my hand and kissed me and went to sleep.  It’s moments like that I want to pause, soak up each thing, and remember.  For a few minutes, she was herself, and was okay.

I have to be able to find a few minutes each day to take out for myself, because to be honest, I feel thin.

Sometimes, I have learned with Caregiving, and I am not just a Caregiver to Momma, I am with my Dad, my Grandson, and to my husband, and the rest of my family, sometimes, I would just like to sneak away and have a few moments, where I don’t have to worry about nothing.

The Nurse asked me today, “When do you have a minute for yourself?”, and that started me thinking.  Maybe, I need to start taking minutes for myself.    I think I have found my answer.  I love music.  If I can have a couple of minutes, with earphones in my ear, and no one watching, I’m gonna start shaking my butt, with earphones, and let loose.

So…if your hear on the news tonite, that some 51-year-old woman is shaking her groove thing, with earphones in her ear, and the house blows down because of shaking, ask yourself, Was this Camsgranny’s house? Yup, it could be…..:)

Torn up, and guilt….

This one is off the cuff, and I promise not to delete it in the morning.    I’ve done that a bunch lately.  I have made a post and then wiped it off the face of the earth, because it left me feeling vulnerable..

Before I get into what  I really want to say, I just have to mention, I truly had have a wonderful day.  Today was Cam-Man’s 3rd Birthday, and the Electrician and I decided we are not moving anytime soon.  It’s ok, because I truly need to be here for other reasons.  Besides, that Cam-Man dude has wormed his way into his Papa and my hearts.

 

A friend, or shall I say Brother, has had a hard time lately.  His Momma was affected with something kind of like my Momma is.  Her time was up, and she was surrounded by her family, and she crossed over. So to speak.  His pain is great, and I feel it, because at the same token, I am dealing with some of what he did.

I look at death with a different eye these days.  It should not be a means for “selfishness”.  Because we are truly selfish for our reason’s for keeping someone who has suffered enough to be here, simply because it will crush us, to have them go away.

It has taken me some time to get to this point.   Why do we want our loved one’s to suffer, because we cannot let them go?    At the point I am at, let them go.  Let there be no more pain, let there be no more, what if’s.  If they are suffering and have no quality of life,   Let them go. 

I truly believe there is a ‘Rainbow Bridge” for animals, and I believe there is a Rainbow bridge for humans. 

I truly haste the suffering, and I hate the disease’s.  Any of them, be it Cancer, be it Alzheimer’s, be it Parkinson’s.  Any of them.  I don’t like what they do to a person, nor do I like what we, as family members have to deal with.  It ain’t pretty by any means, way, shape or form.  Sometimes the pain for the person suffering through “whatever” they have just hits us smack in the face, and Man does it hurt.

I know what is expected from me, I deal with what I can, but sometimes, on this road, I stumble and fall, but I get right back up and go with it.  That’s all I can do.

So, while y’all are out there dealing with whatever you deal with, just stop and think for a moment.  Do I really have it that bad?  Because 9 times out of ten you don’t.  

It’s taken me a LONG time to realize all of this.  I have a roof over my head, I have food to feed my belly, I am in control of all my body parts, (so far),  Before I even begin to think I have it rough, I sit back and look at others.  I’m not judging, I’m simply saying….Momma is still alive, and doing good.  I have my health, I have peeps I love beyond all recognition, and God is smiling on me. 

If nothing else, hug your kids and give them extra kisses, if your Mom and Dad are still alive, LET them KNOW how much they mean to you.  Don’t ever look back and say “I wish I had…”  Do it now,.

No regrets.  

 

 

 

WOW…what a weekend….

I know y’all are probably tired of me saying how Blessed I am, but gosh darn it, I feel it.  So much at times, that it outweighs the bad in my life.  Does that even make sense?  There are areas of my life that are totally tragic, and filled with doom and gloom.  But then, there are areas of my life that are so fun-filled and action packed, I can hardly contain myself.

Cam-man spent the night at my house last night.  It was a pre-planned event.  His parents needed a “date night” and plus to be honest, The Electrician and I wanted him to spend the night.  When Cam came over, we had a surprise for him.  After giving the Fisher dude a hug and kiss, he left and then the fun started.

We had a garage sale a couple of weeks ago, and Cam-man mentioned that he wanted a Sand box, with our profits from the garage sale.  The Electrician diligently searched the internet, and we found the best deal.  We ordered it and it arrived, the Electrician picked it and some sand up, and it was ready and waiting.

DSCN4515Cam Man was introduced to his Sandbox, and it was a hit.  Little dude, was all smiles, kicked off his shoes, and dug right in.  But he did ask his Papa, “You play with me Papa?”

 

 

 

 

DSCN4519Guess who climbed into the sandbox with Cam Man?  Yup…..his papa, and they both gave me the “face”.  The only thing I could do was giggle, simply because we did hand prints, foot prints, and Cam wanted to do face prints, but I drew the line at that one.

DSCN4522Next thing on the agenda was a boat ride.  Cam was totally up for this, after Papa gave him his life vest.  Cam cannot swim, and Papa was determined if the ship went down, little dude would be safe.  I cannot believe MY tongue was out for this picture.    We had a blast on the paddle boat, and Cam was a trooper.  He didn’t like the fact that maybe Jo was the reason Papa fell into the pond, but he sure giggled when instead of peddling forward, I pedaled backwards when we trying to go ashore.  OOPS, sorry Papa (hehehe not really, this was after he paddled me into the tree’s).  When we finally made it to shore, Cam helped “dock” the boat, and was ready for his bubble bath.

We had popped popcorn and Monster’s Inc. was on the t.v. and it was cool for a few, but Papa had been following the Blackhawks hockey team on the computer, and when it went into overtime, well….. Shoot in my house anything SPORTS rules.  Papa asked me turn on the t.v. in the bedroom because anything sports in my house has got to be seen.  Papa went into the bedroom and was watching Hockey, when Cam noticed he was gone, he asked me “Where’s Papa?”.  I told him, “in the other room buddy watching hockey”.  duh…it was on then….

DSCN4525I ended up in the front room watching Monsters Inc. and those two were on MY bed watching Hockey.

Needless to say, the Blackhawks won, and Cam fell asleep on the couch and I fell asleep on his bed, right next to the couch.  During the night Papa woke up, every time I rolled over, and Cam eventually rolled  off the couch onto me.

Cam and I snuggled all night, and when he woke up, I had to giggle.  His first words, “where is Papa?”, as papa came out of our room, Cam wiped the sleep out of his eyes, and gave me his “B”.  Priceless.   A few minutes later Cam arrived and sat on me with his bowl of oranges.  Papa, doesn’t have the advantage I do, and he improvised.  I got a cup of coffee with a bowl of oranges.

We all got ready and headed off to Church.   There is a Part 2 to this story, I will post the rest of it tomorrow, because between you and me, I’m tired and wiped.    I will tell you this, “Grandkids fill  a place you never knew was empty, until they arrived.”

Tomorrow is Cam Man’s b-day, we’ve got some surprise’s in store for that kid….

Before I go for the night I just want to say something.   To ALL of my kids, if I gave birth to you or not, I love ALL OF Y’ALL,  some of you have surprised me, and I am thankful for all of you.    ALL of  my kids have Blessed me in one way or another.

I am not just Blessed because of the Electrician, who goodness knows took me at my worst and has helped me to be my best, But to my Dad, who well, he gave the seed that was planted, and has helped me grow, and ALWAYS been my biggest follower, But to ALL the people who have helped me to be what I am, and also what I am growing into.   I have found, when you are so Blessed, you need to give Thanks, so I am giving Thanks to all of you.  Some of you don’t even realize that you have helped me.  To you, I say with a heartfelt Thank you.  I am Blessed.

 

A Special Day to me…….

While I am writing this tonite, it all actually happened yesterday, but…yestersay was a VERY long day for me and I have still to recoup.    I guess I’ll start, at the beginning…..

Yesterday, I woke up at o’dark thirty, and slugged back a half a cup of coffee and then flew down the road, to get Cam-man.  His Momma had to work, and he was going to spend the day with me.  Normally, when I arrive, Cam-man is still sleeping, and I have “play with Bella the dog time”.  Wasn’t in the cards, Cam man opened up the door and was very happy to see me.  I grabbed his clothes, and his “B” (blanket), and he was already in my car with his belt buckled.  To tell you what he said to me “Hurry Jo, Papa leave for work, HONK HONK get out of our way, I gotta see Papa”.

We flew back to my house and made it with a few minutes to spare, and the “love fest” lasted for a few minutes, then Papa had to go on down the road, as Cam Man says “Papa goes to work to make the $$ for us”.  I had to laugh, simply because I asked Cam, “Where’s your Daddy?”  his response “At work making trains for $$”.  “Cam, where’s your Mom?” “She’s at school?”  “No, she is at work”, “Mom’s at work, making $$ for me”.  I asked Cam, “Where’s Jo?”  he looked at me like I had lost my mind, and said “Here with me silly”.

We already had a very active day planned.  We got breakfast, and I think little dude was hungry, because when I asked him what he wanted, “Chocolate milk, and Papa’s cereal”.  After polishing off a bowl of cereal, he wanted a bowl of oatmeal too.

We got busy and set out Papa’s clothes for his workday the next day, folded laundry, ran the vacuum cleaner, cleaned Cam’s room, and also cleaned the bathroom.  We were done with all of our cleaning, and Cam looked at me in all seriousness of an almost 3-year-old and asked “Jo, we play outside now?”. Well….what do you say to that?

DSCN4499We had finished everything by about 8:45 am, so we went outside.  Cam had set up his trucks to “catch” his life-size tennis ball, and we played with that for a bit, seeing if we could get it to roll into the trucks.  The novelty of that wore off, and the true “boy” in Cam cam out when he grabbed his dump truck and went to his own dirt pile.

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DSCN4503He is very concentrated in his efforts to fill up the dump truck and then empty it and then start all over.    This kid truly enjoys being outside, and if the sun is shining, his philosophy is forget about being inside, let’s go outside.  I don’t need t.v., I need my dirt, dump truck and I’m really happy with a John Deere tractor.

We got cleaned up (sort of), and headed on down the road to Papa Dan’s house.  We went the back way, and saw cows, deer and tractors.  Cam got a little confused at the way went at first but once we hit the river, he knew exactly where we were.    I turned up the radio, and I secretly giggled, at the fact, Cam was singing to the radio.  I’m not sure if he knew what the words were, but he was singing.

When we got to Papa Dan’s the first thing he asked was, “Papa Dan, you get your tractor out for me?”

DSCN4509Well, after Papa Dan, played on his tractor, he parked it, and let Cam have a go.  This picture makes my heart melt.  Two very important people in my life, and it cracks me up.

DSCN4508Papa Dan is teaching Cam safety and told him, he could not go anywhere until he fastened his seat belt.  Look at the concentration on his face.  Cam was ready.DSCN4507

This one just cracked me up, because he was giving me his “I’m so happy” face.

While Papa Dan and Cam were having fun in the barn, I went in and got busy with Momma.    Momma was in rare form today.  She was happy and full of life and energy.  I told her how nice it was outside and asked her if she wanted to go for a walk outside with Papa Dan, and Cam and I, and she was ready.  She picked out her clothes, and after her bath, and stuff, she was ready.  DSCN4512

We got her into the wheelchair and we all headed outside.  Folks, this is the first time Momma has been outside in probably about 3 months.  The fact she WANTED to go outside was a plus to me.  The fact she ENJOYED being outside was even better.  The fact that she had a GOOD time, did not get nervous or upset, is PRICELESS, to me.

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While it may look like I have Momma in a head lock, I really don’t, if the picture had been taken a few seconds earlier, all three of us where holding hands.

This to me is a BEYOND PRICELESS day.

Yes, this was yesterday.  Today, not so much, but ya know what?  It’s ok.  Everyday cannot be a “priceless day”, and with so many good one’s I knew a bad one was coming, but at the same token, it wasn’t that bad.

To cap the end of a very long week, that’s had it’s up’s and down’s, I’ll take every moment, because to me the memories are worth it.  The fact I have them on film is even better.  I haven’t shared all of those moment’s with ya’ll, but some things, are just to special to share.

I learned some lesson’s this week.  But at the end of the day, I am Blessed by ALL of the people in my life.  Thank you guys from me, to my family, to my friends, to my readers….