Tag Archives: snarky

Hostile projectile Tuesday….

Today…hmm..how do I approach this…ok, straight on, cuz that’s the kind of gal I am.  Today officially “Sucked green Twinkies, and smelt alot like poop”.

With that having being said, let me explain.  The contractor got here this morning (day 2 of the infamous remodel) and we had a little chat about what would be done today, and I left.  Remember kid’s today is Tuesday and I had to pick up Cam-Man early.

For all intents and purposes, he appeared to be fine, although the nursing student advised me that he had woken up (so had she) at 1:45 am this morning and his bed was filled with…puke.  Everywhere, so she changed his bed linens,  gave him a bath and changed his pants, and they went back to sleep.  When she got him up at 8 am for me, he was filled with a very smelly, soggy, diaper, and had diarrhea, all down his little legs, so back into the tub he went. 

He appeared fine, giggling and laughing when I got there and got his coat on waved bye to his Momma and jumped into the car, ready to go.  We got to the Farmer’s and  I fed him oatmeal (it sticks to your ribs), and he was full energy, running around talking a mile a minute, you never would have known he had been sick.

I got Momma up and bathed, and dressed and then started cooking breakfast.  I had just got done (today was hash browns, bacon and fried eggs n toast), and served the Farmer and Momma, when Cam man went blasting by me and I smelled something.  FOUL.  So I whisked him into the bedroom and WHAMMO, it was loaded.  Luckily it did not escape the diaper, but it sure brought me back about 30 years ago, when the boys were sick and I started gagging.  Round 1- Cam, granny -0.  He still appeared to be fine, just a little tired so the Farmer put on some cartoons and sat next to him on the couch.

I finished the laundry, and started boiling some chicken for a chicken and rice casserole, got things straightened up and gave the Farmer a grocery list, he was going to stop at the store after his haircut.  By now, Cam is up and running all over the place again, when Cam -AKA stinky butt, came up to me pulling at his butt.  Yup, he did it again.  Round 2 – Cam, Granny -0.  By now, I’ve figured out he can only do this one more time because I only brought 3 diapers with me.  Poor kid, it was RANK.

Well, I got his butt changed and gave him some juice and back to the couch we went.  By now the farmer has left to shop (P.S.  he bought a new Christmas tree because I couldn’t find the old one downstairs, just an empty box).    When all of a sudden…Cam got up and went running into Momma’s room.  I couldn’t figure out what he was doing and then I saw where he had puked a little, and I went chasing after him into the kitchen where he stopped and looked at me and hostile projectiled….yup, right on me. Round 3 – Cam, Granny -0.  Poor kid was so upset he started crying and went and smacked his face into his blankey.  I took off my shirt, and went running after him and grabbed him and just held him and rocked him.  He was upset, he didn’t feel good and was scared.  Poor Momma just looked at both of us and asked “OH MY GOODNESS, What is THAT smell?”  I explained to Momma that Cam had just had an accident and she wanted to comfort him too. 

Momma started humming a little tune, and Cam just sat on my lap with his thumb in his mouth and his blankey on the side of his face and just listened.  He calmed down instantly and I laid him down and rubbed his forehead and he went to sleep.  Me?…I went and cleaned up the mess in the kitchen, the mess in Momma’s room, rinsed out my shirt, finished the casserole for the evening, and kept checking on both Momma & Cam.  Cam slept, Momma hummed.

Then the doorbell went off, the Farmer was back, the first thing I said was if he wakes that kid up all hell’s gonna break loose.  Well, all hell broke loose, so I made the Farmer sit with Cam, while I put everything away, and told the Farmer what had happened and that I was going to go and take Cam to my house where he might be able to sleep for longer than 30 minutes.  We said our bye’s – no kisses, I don’t want them to get anything from  lil’ dude and I’m not sure what he’s got.

I THOUGHT he might fall asleep on the way to my house, but nooooooo, He just watched out the window and perked up when a good song came on the radio.  The first thing I did when we got to my house was give him some children’s Tylenol.  I also had some Pedialite, I mixed it with some water (like the nursing student told me to do).  When WHAMMO, yup….hit with another one  Round 4 Cam, Granny -0.

Let me tell you something, I think I finally figured it out when lil Mr. Cam-Man was giggling so hard, he has 2 eye teeth and the lower eye teeth coming in all the same time, as well as his 2 year molars.  Now, I remember back when the boys were teething, and the behavior is a little the same, it’s the hostile projectiling that has me, because this kid is fine most of the time.  I figured it out when he went for his electric toothbrush, and just let it hit the area where his molars are coming in and just sat and relaxed. 

Mind you, this was the first 3/4 of my day.  By the time the Fisher -dude came to get him, he was fine.  Then the Electrician who, also had a poopy day got home, and the fact we are still in the midst of the remodel, well…let’s just say things were a little snarky.  We were both tired, and really wanting to relax in a nice hot shower, reclaim our house and get back to normal. 

But it’s ok, because tomorrow is one day closer to Thursday, and this too shall pass.


Wacky Wednesday, Momma, Cam, & the Farmer

Well, ya’ll know how part of my morning started.  After I posted I went to the Farmer’s, and he and I chatted for a bit, then I made some pancakes and bacon.  In my morning chat with the Farmer, I learned that while I have been having “Good” mornings with Momma, the late afternoons left something to be desired by him.  Apparently yesterday, momma had a bad afternoon and didn’t really surface until about 6:45 pm. So, to the Farmer, I’m sorry, but you will have a break tomorrow night k?

I got Momma up, bathed and dressed in her new duds.  She was in really good form for me.  We did her exercises and she did really good.  I made her some chocolate chip pancakes and bacon, and then had to fly over to pick up Cam-Man.

I got to the Nursing student’s house and she was clearly a little bit upset.  Cam-Man had a Doctor’s appointment yesterday and I guess the doctor upset her.  Apparently Cam-Man is low on his weight for his height, and the Doctor said he should be talking more….uhm…huh? I’m about to get a little snarky, but EXCUSE me….As a Mother, and a Grandmother I am here to tell you there is no kid the same as any other, and I don’t care what you are basing your ASSUMPTIONS on, or the fact that there are studies on this subject, I know Cam-Man.  He talks, and he also eats.  He talked my ear off after I nabbed him to take him to the Farmer’s.  He understands what you tell him, and he has powers of reasoning that sometimes make me stop and think.  I guess I got a little snarky because it upset the Nursing Student.  But after being reassured by EVERYONE, I think she feels better now.

Back to the day,  Cam-Man arrived at the Farmer’s full of giggles and fun.  Momma was happy to see him, he went right up to the Farmer first and said his “hello’s” then up to Momma. The next hour or so we all played, and then Momma was watching the Walton’s so, I put Momma’s t.v. in her room onto some Sid the Science Kid, and Cam-Man (who was feeling a little tired by then) sat in the chair with his blankey and thumb and watched it for a bit.

After he was done with Sid, he decided that since the kitty’s were sitting in the other chair in Momma’s room he would stir them up a bit and then a little chaos ensued.    I got Momma up and we were making our way to the kitchen so we could wash Momma’s hair when the doorbell went off.  I told Momma to stay in the hallway until I could back to her and went to the front door and there was no one there, I went to the back door and there was the Farmer (he had gone shopping at Wal-Mart) .  He brought in his groceries, and I went to check on Momma who was in the bathroom by now, and yup, you guessed it Cam-Man was “helping her”  I wished I had the camera, because (for the faint of heart don’t read the next sentence), Momma was sitting on the toilet, Cam-Man was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, holding her hand and they were having a conversation.  The Farmer told me that Cam-Man was helping Momma.  After we got her back up and ready to roll, the Farmer and Cam-Man went to have a pow-wow in the den and I washed Momma’s hair.

After Momma was settled back into her chair and her hair had been washed and combed, I got us all a snack of cheese-its.  I love those crackers!  Apparently so does Cam, because he ate all of his and then because the Farmer and I hade ate all of ours he went to Momma (who is a little slower at eating than the rest of us), and begged some from her, he even said “pwease”.

It was time to take Cam back to the Nursing student, so I put Cam’s hat and coat on and told him to go tell Great G’pa bye-bye, which he did, and told him to tell great G’ma bye-bye, which he did (he even gave her a hug & kiss).  Cam was asleep before we even hit the end of the driveway.

After dropping Cam off and talking to the Nursing Student for a bit, I had to leave to go to the DMV.  Yup, the State of Illinois sent me a letter advising me that as of tomorrow I was expired.  So, I waltzed right in and renewed my driver’s license.  It was kinda funny actually.  The lovely lady that helped me after seeing my name asked me if I was the Nursing Student’s Momma, and I said uh…yea….and then proceeded to ask me about her and her wedding and her baby.  So, it was kinda not so bad to go re-new my driver’s license. Plus, I was in there and outta there in about 10 minutes.

After coming home and relaxing by doing yet some more domestic goddess duties, I made a really good dinner.  Pork tenderloin steaks braised in white wine and butter, fried potatoes, and broccoli and cheese sauce.  On that note, I’m stuffed (uhm burb). I’ve had my shower and I am calling it a night.  Hope all of your Wednesday’s were as great as mine.