I read a blog post tonite that has truly hit me in the gut and made me accept a few things. So, in true Camsgranny fashion, I am also writing a letter.
While I know the past few days you have felt like you are on a roller coaster, maybe you need to accept that you are. This Holiday season is a first for you.
You have so many scary memories of the last Holiday season, and you need to accept the fact you are scared. It doesn’t help you that your Momma has said, she gets emotional over the Christmas holiday, and that she has told you she is planning to leave you this Christmas season.
While your memories flood back to you from last year, when you actually “lost” your Momma and the fact that the Doctor’s and Nurses brought her back to you. You need to quit being a scaredy cat, and recognize every day is a gift.
You need to quit walking on eggshells and live your life, and quit worrying. While I understand that it gets harder and harder everyday to go take care of her, when you see that she is slowly going away, cherish what time you have with her.
Giggle those giggles, belly laugh when you both need to. Wipe her tears when she needs it, wipe her drool away when she needs it. Comfort her when she is confused, and let her be herself.
She loves you, oh so much, and that is why she tells you daily, she is Blessed by you, and lucky to have you. While I understand, you tell her, You are lucky to have her.
While I understand your frustration, and that being a Caregiver is hard. It is something you feel the need to do. It won’t be forever, and there will come a day, when you will feel Blessed to have all these moments and also to have spent the time you did.
So to myself, I say this, Girl, you got this and quit looking behind and start looking forward, and just take one day at a time. Yesterday is the past, tomorrow is the future, and today? well, it’s a present.
This has been a month of Thankfulness for me. While I am thankful for everyday, truly I am. There are things that make this month stand out the most. Just for me, and maybe for someone else, something I may say, might mean something.
I am always Thankful for my family. They truly are my back bone and give me the strength to go deal with what I do.
I am thankful for everything I have, from my house, to my clothes, to my car, to well, just everything.
I am thankful for my friends….y’all know who you are…you guys hold me close, let me say whatever I need to, just to blow off steam, to just saying you love me, and somehow my world turns to right.
I am Thankful for my Cat, ok, y’all can laugh if you want to, but this cat has given me more love, affection and attitude than any of my kids (ok that might be a tie), but she loves me, and loves to curl into my lap, or sleep at my feet and take care of me when no one else is around. (It’s a cat thing…sorry if you don’t understand it).
I’m thankful for my husband, who truly I never thought I would ever find a soul who matches mine as much as he does, we are on the same wave..dream the same dreams and love the same things. Not to mention we love each other to the moon and then beyond……
I love my birth kids, more than words can ever say, I am thankful for both of you, you each have given me joy, and a bunch of pain, but I guess that is part of being a Mother. Never doubt my love for you, even though it may be tough right now.
I am thankful for my “other” children, I refuse to call you “step’ because truly in my eyes, if I could have given birth to you I would have, the fact that I love each and every one of you, is to me a Blessing, because God gave you to me, I truly tried to step to the challenge., If I have let you down, sorry, but I truly love y’all like my own and hope you know it. Each of you is a Blessing to me in one way or another.
I’m Thankful for one little dude, that probably no one can understand….That would be Cam-man…I cannot even begin to describe what this little dude means to me. I never wanted to over-step any bonds. But from about day 2, because day 1 I was too afraid to hold him, This dude is my Buddy. I may have been replaced because his papa is his best friend and that’s ok. This little dude, gave me strength to survive his papa being away from me, and giving me joy in his little face. To this day, this little dude and I share a bond that was re-inforced to me today, and I am oh so thankful of this little guy. He still loves me, and plays hide n seek with me and all of those other games him and I share.
But to be truthful, I am thankful for the Farmer and Momma, simply because…they are my parents. For Momma maybe by default, but it is what it is, and SHE is MY Momma.
I am Thankful for living the life I do, with all I have, and all I am thankful for. I am truly one Blessed woman.
My life may be complicated, but truly, I’m not used to any other. I’ve lived all these years and I’ve learned a bunch of lessons. I am still learning. But I do know I am Thankful, and I give all of my Blessings thankful to God, AND my angels, I truly have a bunch of them. This month, My Angels added another. While I am sad, I am thankful for the party going on up in heaven.
I just hope that when it’s all said and done, eventually, it’s gonna be one heck of a party when we all get together…..
This is not my story, I borrowed it from a friend….
The Folded Napkin … A Truckers Story
I try not to be biased, but I had my doubts about hiring Stevie. His placement counselor assured me that he would be a good, reliable busboy. But I had never had a mentally handicapped employee and wasn’t sure I wanted one. I wasn’t sure how my customers would react to Stevie. He was short, a little dumpy with the smooth facial features and thick-tongued speech of Downs Syndrome.
I shouldn’t have worried. After the first week, Stevie had my staff wrapped around his stubby little finger, and within a month my truck regulars had adopted him as their official truck stop mascot. After that, I really didn’t care what the rest of the customers thought of him. He was like a 21-year-old in blue jeans and Nikes, eager to laugh and eager to please, but fierce in his attention to his duties. Every salt and pepper shaker was exactly in its place, not a bread crumb or coffee spill was visible when Stevie got done with the table.
Our only problem was persuading him to wait to clean a table until after the customers were finished. He would hover in the background, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, scanning the dining room until a table was empty. Then he would scurry to the empty table and carefully bus dishes and glasses onto cart and meticulously wipe the table up with a practiced flourish of his rag. If he thought a customer was watching, his brow would pucker with added concentration. He took pride in doing his job exactly right, and you had to love how hard he tried to please each and every person he met.
Over time, we learned that he lived with his mother, a widow who was disabled after repeated surgeries for cancer. They lived on their Social Security benefits in public housing two miles from the truck stop. Their social worker, who stopped to check on him every so often, admitted they had fallen between the cracks. Money was tight, and what I paid him was probably the difference between them being able to live together and Stevie being sent to a group home. That’s why the restaurant was a gloomy place that morning last August, the first morning in three years that Stevie missed work.
He was at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester getting a new valve or something put in his heart. His social worker said that people with Downs Syndrome often have heart problems at an early age so this wasn’t unexpected, and there was a good chance he would come through the surgery in good shape and be back at work in a few months.
A ripple of excitement ran through the staff later that morning when word came that he was out of surgery, in recovery, and doing fine. Frannie, the head waitress, let out a war hoop and did a little dance in the aisle when she heard the good news. Bell Ringer, one of our regular trucker customers, stared at the sight of this 50-year-old grandmother of four doing a victory shimmy beside his table. Frannie blushed, smoothed her apron and shot Belle Ringer a withering look.
He grinned. “OK, Frannie, what was that all about?” he asked.
“We just got word that Stevie is out of surgery and going to be okay.”
“I was wondering where he was. I had a new joke to tell him. What was the surgery about?”
Frannie quickly told Bell Ringer and the other two drivers sitting at his booth about Stevie’s surgery, then sighed: “Yeah, I’m glad he is going to be OK,” she said. “But I don’t know how he and his Mom are going to handle all the bills. From what I hear, they’re barely getting by as it is.” Belle Ringer nodded thoughtfully, and Frannie hurried off to wait on the rest of her tables.
Since I hadn’t had time to round up a busboy to replace Stevie and really didn’t want to replace him, the girls were busing their own tables that day until we decided what to do. After the morning rush, Frannie walked into my office. She had a couple of paper napkins in her hand and a funny look on her face.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“I didn’t get that table where Bell Ringer and his friends were sitting cleared off after they left, and Pony Pete and Tony Tipper were sitting there when I got back to clean it off,” she said. “This was folded and tucked under a coffee cup.”
She handed the napkin to me, and three $20 bills fell onto my desk when I opened it. On the outside, in big, bold letters, was printed “Something For Stevie.
Pony Pete asked me what that was all about,” she said, “so I told him about Stevie and his Mom and everything, and Pete looked at Tony and Tony looked at Pete, and they ended up giving me this.” She handed me another paper napkin that had “Something For Stevie” scrawled on its outside. Two $50 bills were tucked within its folds.
Frannie looked at me with wet, shiny eyes, shook her head and said simply: “truckers.”
That was three months ago. Today is Thanksgiving, the first day Stevie is supposed to be back to work. His placement worker said he’s been counting the days until the doctor said he could work, and it didn’t matter at all that it was a holiday. He called 10 times in the past week, making sure we knew he was coming, fearful that we had forgotten him or that his job was in jeopardy.
I arranged to have his mother bring him to work. I then met them in the parking lot and invited them both to celebrate his day back. Stevie was thinner and paler, but couldn’t stop grinning as he pushed through the doors and headed for the back room where his apron and busing cart were waiting.
“Hold up there, Stevie, not so fast,” I said. I took him and his mother by their arms. “Work can wait for a minute. To celebrate you coming back, breakfast for you and your mother is on me!”
I led them toward a large corner booth at the rear of the room. I could feel and hear the rest of the staff following behind as we marched through the dining room. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw booth after booth of grinning truckers empty and join the procession. We stopped in front of the big table. Its surface was covered with coffee cups, saucers and dinner plates, all sitting slightly crooked on dozens of folded paper napkins.
“First thing you have to do, Stevie, is clean up this mess,” I said. I tried to sound stern. Stevie looked at me, and then at his mother, then pulled out one of the napkins. It had “Something for Stevie” printed on the outside. As he picked it up, two $10 bills fell onto the table.
Stevie stared at the money, then at all the napkins peeking from beneath the tableware, each with his name printed or scrawled on it. I turned to his mother.
“There’s more than $10,000 in cash and checks on table, all from truckers and trucking companies that heard about your problems. “Happy Thanksgiving,”
Well, it got real noisy about that time, with everybody hollering and shouting, and there were a few tears, as well. But you know what’s funny? While everybody else was busy shaking hands and hugging each other, Stevie, with a big, big smile on his face, was busy clearing all the cups and dishes from the table. Best worker I ever hired.
Plant a seed and watch it grow. At this point, you can bury this inspirational message or forward it fulfilling the need! If you shed a tear, hug yourself, because you are a compassionate person.
Well.. Don’t just sit there! Share this story!
Keep it going, this is a good one!
Today is Thanksgiving, here in the good old U.S. of A. Plenty of families come together and render themselves into a food coma.
This morning dawned with me waking up and screaming “Oh Crap, I gotta get busy”. What did I know? The Electrician has never actually helped me with Thanksgiving in the previous years. He was usually in charge of grilling or smoking the turkey. This year was different. I was cooking all of the turkeys (yes, I had 2) in the flavor-wavor.
The Electrician stepped it up this year. Yes, he helped me make the oyster stuffing AND the sausage stuffing. Helped with the Green bean casserole, He was in charge of the Rolls, and the mashed potato‘s. The man stepped up. (burp).
I was so far ahead of my schedule, I had time to just sit and watch “Friends” on t.v. cuddled up with my Beloved. Have you ever just sat and rejoiced in what you have? I did, today.
The dinner today was amazing, unfortunately, the Nursing Student and I over did it a bit, by simply eating too much before the dinner. OOPS. My poor Collage student did herself in last night enough said…
When we had all scarfed enough to feed the world (okay might be a stretch) , I plated up a plate for the Farmer. I made a deal with all of them, that I would take the plate to Farmer, and they would do the dishes. (I seriously got the better end of that deal, I got to drive 30 minutes in a food coma)
When I arrived at the Farmer’s, him and Momma were asleep. I came in, and saw they were both sleeping, and I went up to the Farmer and gently rubbed him arm. He opened his eyes, and smiled. I sush’d him because Momma was truly sleeping, I mean drool and everything. He came into the kitchen with me and made a plate and then I told him I had to go. I gave him BIG hugs told him I loved him, kissed my still sleeping Momma and left. Can I be honest with y’all here? On my day of Thankfulness, I am Thankful she is still here, am I happy she never woke up AND I did not want to wake her up, No.
I got home and my kids and the Electrician had cleaned up all of the mess from my cooking. We then watched 2 movies. I watched the Hunger Games, which I truly thought I would not like and I did, and The Lorax, and Cam-man was truly amazed.
I have had a truly amazing day. I have counted all my Blessings, I am not looking forward to tomorrow… But will be will be….
I have realized, I am getting older. With that comes numerous things, while I accept most of them, I am saddened by some of them.
Over the past 3 weeks, I have had to say Good-bye to quite a few people. Some, beloved family members, some lifetime friends, and some friends made through work, and other means.
While tomorrow is Thanksgiving, I’ve been giving a bunch of thought to all of those that have gone before me.
I am Thankful for the opportunity that I have had with these people. To be loved by some of them, to have been friends with others. Each of them taught me one thing or another.
While I am sad that they are no longer with me, it does not mean I don’t think about them, and say a little prayer to them. Some of them, I am happy they are no longer in pain.
I guess I now understand what my Grandma B. used to tell me, when I was a kid. Everyone comes into your life for a reason, you need to learn as much as you can, feel as much as you can and truly cherish your memories. Because there will come a day, when Memories are all you have of a person.
On this Thanksgiving, I am truly Thankful, I still have both of my parents. While there are days, I would gladly throw the towel in, I truly don’t mean it. I just don’t like what Parkinson’s has done to my Family.
While I miss those that have passed on, I have memories, that no one can take away.
From my house to yours, While mine will be Blessed, and extremely LOUD, to each and every one of my readers, May you have a truly Blessed and Thankful Thanksgiving!
Sunday dawned, and in our house, it was going to be our “mini” Thanksgiving Day. We ate our breakfast, and my Mol and I got busy. We baked a fruit tart for dessert, and then got busy with our “dinner”.
The kids were coming today, and we were enjoying the “quiet” before the “storm”. When all of us get together, it tends to be a little loud, chaos and fun.
We had a turkey breast all prepped, to be cooked in the ‘flavor-waver”, a hash brown casserole, and zucchini, broccoli, and cauliflower to be roasted in the oven. My Mol made her famous apple salad, and we had some dinner rolls that had risen to 3 times the normal size.
The Dining room table had the leaf put into it, the Electrician scrounged 4 more chairs, and brought out the high chair. The table was set, and the food was cooking, when the kids all arrived. We were just putting it all together when the College student arrived, she had driven about an hour to make sure she made it in time to see her Grandparents.
The Blessing was said, and the food disappeared. Then it was family fun time. We all laughed, and giggled. We decided it was time to go outside and take some pictures… So the next part of this story will be told by the camera..
Cam-Man was outside while we were all sitting on the patio, and he was ever so excited to see the Moon. It was pretty visible in the daylight. He ran inside and yelled at his Papa “Come NOW”, he wanted to show it to him. The kids and I were on the porch just giggling, because of the excitement of a 2-year-old trying to get his Papa to come out NOW.
We then got busy, first off 3 of us with a camera is really kind confusing. Each of us were saying “Smile” and no one knew where to look.
At one point, Cam-man and I decided to take a picture of each other….. You can see how mine turned out…
This is how sisters take pictures to put on their Facebook page, they don’t bother anybody, just snap the picture and away they go….
This would be the girls with the Electrician and I, of course Cam-Man had to smile his part….
This would be the Great Grandparents and Grandparents of Cam-Man. AKA the Electricians Dad & Mom.
And the women….
After all of the pictures were taken, we came back inside and all hung out for a bit,
The evening ended with all the kids going home, but not until, ALL of the kids did a search for the cookies, that they knew I baked, but the Electrician had hidden. The Electrician‘s parents truly laughed at how hard those kids searched. And all because the Electrician had given Cam-Man a cookie after all the pictures were taken. They searched the trash for the bag they knew the cookies were in. They took things out of my cabinet and finally found them.
Uhm…I gotta make some more cookies now…:)
Hey y’all, this would be Brayden….He’s the top gun dude in the family. Brayden is one of our many grandkids (ok we have 4 but hey who’s counting?)… We just spent the afternoon and evening with this dude. He came over and then promptly went down for a nap, cuz well…it was nap time and we have kinda gotten used to putting the kids to bed and having an Adult dinner. (If that’s what you want to call it .) hehehe…
This lil dude really REALLY likes, Mickey Mouse. Apparently the thing this year is Rock Star Mickey, or so Brayden told me. We found it on the computer and we watched a couple of video’s of “Rock Star Mickey”. Hmmmmm Santa, you might want to pay attention to this one. The funniest thing tho…he whispered to Papa that he REALLY wanted this thing, and then yelled at Granny he REALLY wanted this thing. For some funny reason, I think he WANTS THIS THING. Hmmm… I’ll have to think about this. Because a couple of months ago it was the Dancing Elmo that caught his attention, until he got it. He still plays with it, but, I guess that Elmo has been replaced by Mickey. In the words of the Top Gun, Granny I really, really, really, REALLY want this. Play it Again, play it again was heard numerous times for the video.
Then there is this one, life is good. Cam-man, that is his name, his brother even calls him Cam-man. This kid is just straight up full of life, not wanting to stop for NOTHING! Make you laugh, not a problem, help everyone with giggles, not a problem. For the first time, he had a problem with taking a nap at Granny’s house. Uhm, I think that might be due to not having his favorite and best buddy…..
Yup, it’s his blankey, I refer to this child as Linus (there is no insult there, just truth.) This kid carries it around ALWAYS and when I take him from his home it is always part of the luggage. If he doesn’t have it then there is sure to be some sort of chaos to ensue. I have a blankey that is sorta like the one he cherishes but ya know what, it’s not his blankey and he knows when he is being fooled.
Today was a really good day, it was spent with the kids and grandkids, the kids MAY have been over shadowed by the grandkids but hey…sometimes that happens.
The Collage kid is home right now, and it was So good to see her….. I really love this kid altho, lately her and I have been fightin…..but….sometimes family does that but I want her to know that I love her with all my heart. Part of today was finalizing our Thanksgiving day menu…hehehe… The nursing student and I have split up the menu and that is so one person is not doing all the cooking. She has her list and I have mine. But the college student (not to be outdone) has volunteered to bring a cake to the festivities… I’m kinda excited about what she is bringing. She stated it is a better than sex cake….. Uhm…ok…BRING it girlfriend….hehehe…
Well…everything has arrived and the bed has been put up on a bed frame, and the rail installed. However, we have to re-install the bedrail because we installed it backwards. Go figure, the farmer & I weren’t quite sure about it, but between the two of us we thought we had it figured out.
However, when Mom saw it apparently she wasn’t as upset as I thought she would be. The Farmer told her we did it to make her safe, and that she would not be able to get out of bed and fall. She said “Thank You”, and that she liked it but we had to move it because the end hit her butt when she sat down on the bed.
So…we will be moving it tomorrow, and it will work for tonite.
Oh yes, update…THE OUTLAWS are here!!! So happy to see both of their faces. We’ve had a nice supper, of course we had Cam-the-Man and his Daddy the Fisher-dude came and ate because the Nursing Student is at work. We also got to see a sleeping Brayden for the first time in about a month.
Brayden finally woke up long enough to ask for a glass of milk and some cookies. Because Granny‘s house always has cookies. So after sending the Fisher-dude and his kiddos home we all settled down to relax and stuff.
We are in the midst of trying to figure out what we are going to do tomorrow, because now 3 of the 5 kiddos are going to be here for a quick visit with their Grandparents. I do believe that a trip to Farm & Fleet is in order and so far not sure what else the day will bring but I know I’ve got a 9 lb Boston Butt Pork Roast that is ready to be cooked and the leaf put in the table and things might get kinda chaotic but hey….we’re all family so it’s going to be fun, 3 generations all getting together. I guess this will be our Thanksgiving of a sort.