It was a normal evening, and dinner was sitting on the table. It was fried chicken, mashed potato’s and gravy and corn. A guest had been invited, and still the main man had not shown up. Embarrassed, we sat down to eat. The main man arrived and stormed in. The guest, saw the situation was stormy and excused himself and left. The woman kept eating, this was nothing new.
She was called into the bedroom, where she entered still swallowing mashed potato’s. Bam, she was hit with the side of a water-bed rail. It took her to her knees. She looked up, and got smacked again, Bam with the side rail. The only thing that helped her was that the rails were padded.
The mad man kept hitting her with the bed rail. Then, she was dragged into the other room by her hair. He kept yelling and screaming at her, she wasn’t worthy. A glass was slammed onto the table and the glass was shattered, and ground into her hand. He kept hitting her, and trying to strangle her, when the doorbell went off.
He told her answer it, and get rid of them. She answered the door and with her hand on the side of her face that was already swelling, asked what they wanted. It was the neighbor returning the vacuum cleaner she had lent them earlier in the day. They asked her if everything was ok, and she lied and said yes, it was all ok. Quietly she asked them to please call the police and help her. She was afraid she was going to die tonite. She told them not to ask any questions, but to please if they wanted to help, call 911 and have the police sent here NOW.
She closed the door, and went back to the madman. He was pleased she had gotten rid of the intrusion and was nice for about 30 seconds. But something else sent him off on his reign of terror, he grabbed a knife from the kitchen, and grabbed her, and threw her on the floor. He kept screaming at her and telling her she wasn’t worth shit, and he was going to end her miserable excuse for a life. The knife was at her throat, he was in control. He pricked her throat, and was ready to end her life, when the doorbell went off again.
He let her up to answer the door, and coward that he was ran into the bedroom to hide. It was the police, who were at the door. Taking one look at her, they asked, does he have a weapon? Yes, he does, it’s a kitchen knife. They approached cautiously and then subdued him and arrested him.
She went to the hospital, and the 6 month old baby was held by Child Services for a few hours. She was determined that it was time to end this ritual of abuse. She was ok, and just had bruises and a nick in her neck. She was determined to leave him and end it.
That was not to be the case however. He promised to change, and she really did love him, and she found out she was pregnant again. She took him back with promises.
Promises, she found out were made to be broken. And he broke every one of them. Many episodes just like the one above happened, some on a worse scale, hospital visits, broken ribs, black eyes. and other stuff.
Why you ask yourself when you read this? Because, when a person is being abused, and they separate you from your family and any and ALL people you love, and constantly berate you, make you believe what they tell you, YOU are not worth Shit.
This is just a part of my story. My kids never knew, because the day he laid a hand on them, was the day I fought back. I learned I could have boundaries, I could say no, I wasn’t shit, and I could make a difference.
To anyone who’s been abused, or being abused, there is a life after. I’ve been tought by the Electrician, I can have an argument with him that does not lead to violence. If anyone has been violent in our relationship it’s been me. But I have learned, I am a woman who has rights, and can be treated like a lady. I’ve learned that love is not with fists, it’s with actions, that do not include fists, or rage, or violence.
My recovery was slow, I didn’t trust anyone for a very long time. I slept with a dream catcher over my bed for several years. My dreams were horrible, re-living certain events in my life.
But when I look at my life today versus then to now. I would not trade any of my blessings to what I have now over then. While I thought I knew what love was, pfft…I didn’t have a clue. Because today I am LOVED, by all of my family. There are no more visits to the ER because someone lost their temper. There are no more black eyes, broken ribs, or anything else, well other than my stupid ass running into the bedroom door, because the Electrician closes it and I am not graceful in the middle of the night.
Abuse is nasty and ugly and NO ONE should go through with it, much less put up with it. But me? I was young and stupid. Thankfully I have grown up and don’t deal with it anymore, but the memories still linger.
My sincere thanks to the Electrician for teaching me what true love means.